Unplugged From Reality

, , , | Right | September 1, 2020

Me: “Thanks for calling; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need to cancel my TV.”

Me: “You need to cancel your cable?”

Customer: “No, I need to disconnect my TV.”

Me: “Okay, you need to disconnect your cable.”

Customer: “Listen to me closely. I need to disconnect my TV.”

Me: “Right, you need to disconnect your cable TV.”


Me: “No problem. Unplug your TV. It’s now disconnected. Have a nice day.”

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Their Brain Has Been Erased

, , , , | Right | August 31, 2020

I work in a call center taking orders for medical equipment for lease. We have an online form patients can fill out requesting we call them to complete a reservation.

I call one patient three times and leave messages. Finally, his daughter calls back.

Caller: “Hi. My dad put in a reservation online and we didn’t receive a call. His name is [Patient].”

Me: “Actually, I personally called both numbers he provided and left messages. Did you receive those messages?”

Caller: “My mom erased it.”

Me: “Did she listen to it before erasing it?”

Caller: “Well, no. She just erased it without listening. So you should have called back.”

Me: “I have no way of knowing that my message was not heard; I wouldn’t have known to call again.”

Caller: “That is a ridiculous excuse. You should have called when we didn’t receive your message.”

Me: “I guess I’m not following.”

Caller: “Can I get someone with a brain in her head? Someone who cares when people don’t get her messages?”

Me: “Well, it seems you did receive my messages. I can’t control if you decide to listen to them or not.”

Caller: “Well, you should just know!”

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Unfiltered Story #206290

, , | Unfiltered | August 29, 2020

(It’s within the last hour of my store being open, and it’s my second-to-last week working at this job. A Russian man, with his children, step up to order.)

Customer: *Russian accent* Lipton Tea.

Me: I’m sorry?

Customer: Tea. I want Lipton tea with lemon.

Me: We don’t carry that. Here are the teas we carry. *points at 12 teas we carry*

Customer: I want Lipton.

Me: I don’t even know what kind of tea that is. Is it black? These are our black teas. *gives him two options*

Customer: No black, brown tea.

Me: We don’t have brown tea. Black tea is what you’re looking for. Which would you like?

Customer: *chooses Royal English Breakfast*

*I make his tea, which should steep for 5 minutes before drinking*

Customer: Is there lemon?

Me: We don’t have lemon.

The customers gives me the stink eye, which he’s been doing throughout this interaction, but now it’s worse. I tell him his total, and he hands me a 20$. I’m cashing out his change.

Customer: How much was it?

Me: [Total]

Customer: *digs in pocket and offers me a variety of change* How much?

Me: I… I don’t– *sighs and takes enough change to round up from $0.19 to a quarter, all the while he’s glaring at me*

Customer leaves to the condiment bar, doesn’t say thank you or anything and leaves. Half an hour later, I go to clean the condiment bar and he’s taken out his 2 teabags and just left them lying on the counter, with the trash can 2 feet away, covering my counter in tea.

Me: *to my coworker* First brown tea, and then he couldn’t even use the trashcan. WTF?!

Unfiltered Story #206214

, , | Unfiltered | August 26, 2020

(A female resident comes up to my desk. I know her and I cringe inside because this is a multiple-times-a-day occurence.)

Resident: Is the exercise activity on right now? 10:00?
Me: *looks at clock, sees 10:15* It started 15 minutes ago, actually, but you can still go. It goes to 11:00.
Resident: So it starts right now?
Me: No, it’s already started. But you can still go.
Resident: Ok, so it’s 10:00 now. Is it on the second floor?
Me: *internal sigh* Yes.
Resident: So that’s upstairs?
Me: We’re on the first floor, so yes, the second floor is upstairs.
Resident: So I go up two floors?
Me: No, just go up one floor – that’s the second floor. We are on the first floor right now.
Resident: So it’s on this floor?
Me: This is the first floor. It’s on the second floor. One floor up.
Resident: Ok, two floors up then. Bye! *she walks down the hall…the wrong way*
Me: *massive sigh*

(And the thing is, this resident doesn’t even have dementia or alzheimer’s. She’s just incredibly…uh…not intelligent. At all.)

A Backhanded Way To Troll The Boss

, , , , | Working | August 23, 2020

I am a new hire as a network engineer. I am working on configuring a replacement switch with another new engineer and our superior. My laptop is connected to the switch and, due to a disability to my right arm, I have my laptop in lefthanded mode.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Cisco operating system, it is a command-line interface only system, highlighting text automatically copies it and right-clicking pastes text into the command prompt. Unfortunately, with my mouse buttons swapped, left-clicking is not the paste action.

My superior goes to check our work, but when he forgets that my mouse buttons are swapped and several times pastes a bunch of text into the command prompt. This either results in a bunch of error messages or possibly overwrites configurations with incorrect ones. After a few accidental left-clicks, he’s getting noticeably frustrated.

Superior: “God d*** it! Are you trolling me more something?”

Me: “No! I swear, I’m not a troll; I’m just left-handed!”

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