This Call Went South

, , , , | Right | February 1, 2019

(My town was founded as two towns back in the lumber baron days, and was made into one much later. Residents still know and refer to the areas on either side of the bridges over the river as “East Side” or “West Side.” This is important whenever giving directions, for example. It is my day to work the circulation desk at the library, and part of that includes fielding phone calls. I pick one up about halfway through the day.)

Me: “Circulation desk. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hello! I was hoping to get some directions to the library!”

Me: “Certainly! Our address is [address]. Does that sound familiar?”

Caller: “Not really…”

Me: “Hmm, well, are you East Side or West Side?”

Caller: “What?”

Me: “East [City] or West [City]? I can give you directions based off of that.”

Caller: “There’s an East and West [City] now?”

Me: “Er, as long as I’ve lived here… in [City], Michigan.”

Caller: *starts laughing!* “Oh, my God!”

Me: “What is it?”

Caller: “I meant to call the [Same City], Oregon library!”

Me: *starts laughing as well* “Yes, our library would be a bit of a drive!”

(We both had a good laugh about the mix-up. I wished her luck in her endeavor and spent the rest of my shift in a lighter mood!)

Good Thing She Only Lost Her Number Two Jacket

, , , , | Right | January 31, 2019

(A resident rolls up to my desk in her wheelchair to ask a question.)

Resident: “It’s written on my coat… my defecation…” *trails off*

Me: *blink* “Your… what now?”

Resident: “My name and… my phone number… My defecation is on my coat.”

(I remember a coworker saying something about someone missing their coat so I take a shot.)

Me: “We’ll find it [Resident]; don’t worry!”

Resident: “Oh, thank you! My defecation is on it…”

(She honest-to-God kept saying, “defecation,” but I hope she meant identification. I pity who finds the coat if she really did mean defecation.)

They Will Be Canned From The Store

, , , , , | Right | January 30, 2019

(I work at the service desk at a grocery store. This grocery store does not sell single bottles or cans of beer. A gentleman comes up to the service desk for a few returns. The first return goes smoothly, the second…)

Customer: “I was at your self-checkouts earlier and [Coworker] helped me, but she overcharged me for this beer! I only bought a single bottle of [Popular Beer], but I got charged for a six-pack!”

Me: “Sir, we do not sell single bottles or cans of beer. The only thing we offer is a ‘make your own six-pack’ deal where you pick up an empty six-pack box and fill it with various beers from a designated area in the liquor aisle.”

Customer: “I was charged for a six-pack when I only wanted one beer! I want to be compensated!”

Me: “We don’t even have a designated price for a single bottle of beer because we do not offer single bottles of beer. How were you able to scan it?”

Customer: “I only wanted one, so I took one out of a six-pack on the shelf and scanned it! I want a refund!”

Me: “Sir, even if we did sell single bottles of beer and you mistakenly got charged for a six-pack, I couldn’t offer you a refund, as it’s against state law. The only thing I can offer is to help you find the pack of beer you took that single beer out of and let you have that; otherwise, we’ll have to damage out the product.”

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know you guys don’t sell single bottles of beer?”

Me: “Well, you pulled it out of a six-pack, so clearly it’s only sold as a six-pack.”

(This happened one more time about forty-five minutes later.)

Unfiltered Story #138463

, , | Unfiltered | January 30, 2019

Customer : *Sidles up out of nowhere at six in the morning. “Uhm yes, which bread is the best kind?”

Me: “It depends on what you’re looking for..”

Customer: “You know, the best kind.”

Me: *Still waking up from being here at 3″ Well… that kind over there is popular and not too expensive..”

Customer: “Gotcha, Thanks.” *Takes bread and walks off*.

Unfiltered Story #138428

, , | Unfiltered | January 28, 2019

[As I tell this story most will know what restaurant I work for, however I’m still not naming the place, I’ve also started somewhat recently and am 16, so I’m not taken very seriously] Me: Hello! Welcome to ___
Customer: doesn’t hear me and proceeds to grope her husband in front of the bakery display
(I wait, highly uncomfortable)
Customer turns around and is embarrassed, switches to hold her husband’s hand. Now, we were out of bread bowls, just some foresight. These customers proceed to argue with each other about every detail of the order, the wife clearly in charge of the relationship.
Customer: “I’ll have a broccoli cheddar”
Me: “Will that be in a cup or a bowl?”
(didn’t offer bread bowl knowing we were out)
Customer:”the to go order doesn’t come in a bread bowl right?”
(clearly seeming not to want a bread bowl given how slow she said that to me, as if I couldn’t possibly understand the question)
Me: “No it doesn’t, we also are currently out of bread bowls”
Minutes later my manager comes up to me upset, and I explain the situation, he, known as an asshole, doesn’t care and gives me a long talk about reading back orders, he also gives me a hard time the rest of the night. I catch the customer giving me an evil eye, as I write this I realize this isn’t a ‘not always right’ but at least she didn’t get a bread bowl!

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