It’s A Bad Sign(In)

, , , , | Right | September 2, 2019

(I work at an assisted living facility. We have a sign-in computer at the front desk. A man comes in to visit. We go through the normal pleasantries, although he is a bit short with me.)

Visitor: “Ugh, I can’t get this to work. And there’s a typographical error here.”

Me: *walks around desk* “Here, let’s see if I can help.” *starts helping him with the computer*

Visitor: “You probably don’t care what the error is.”

Me: “Of course I do!”

(I really don’t.)

Visitor: *goes back to the starting screen when we are almost done signing him in* “Here, it’s this. ‘Sign-In’ is an adjective. It shouldn’t have that dash there. Same with ‘Sign-Out.’”

Me: “Oh, okay. I’ll email the company about that.”

(No, I won’t.)

Visitor: *tries signing in again* “You know what? No. I’m not doing this. I’ll skip visiting her. I’ll come back when you have the paper sign-in again.”

Me: “Umm… okay…”

(He walks out the door.)

Me: “That’ll be never, then.”

(I felt sorry for the poor lady he was going to visit. But seriously? Buddy, this whole world is going toward tech solutions. You’re not going to see that paper sign-in any time soon, probably anywhere. Good lord, just suck it up and use the bloody computer!)

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Prepare To Be Pee’d Off

, , , , , , | Learning | August 31, 2019

(I am working with a group of kids that I have only worked with once before. I get stuck in the room with a new employee and twelve three-year-olds. Towards the end of an extremely hectic day I need to use the restroom.)

Me: *to coworker* “Hey, I’m going to go use the restroom really quick. Will you be okay while I’m gone?”

Coworker: “Yeah! Go right ahead.”

(Not even five minutes later, I walk back into the room. The room has been torn apart completely, but that’s not the worst thing I see. One of the three-year-old boys is sitting in a chair without pants on.)

Me: “Hey, [Three-Year-Old], what are you doing?”

Three-Year-Old: “I peed!”

Me: “Oh, yeah? Where did you pee?”

(The child points to a puddle of pee in the middle of the room; his clothes are sitting in the middle of it.)

Me: “Um, [Coworker], did you notice that [Three-Year-Old] is naked and has peed on the floor?”

(My coworker obviously has been sitting in the corner with one child on her lap, ignoring the eleven other children in the room.)

Coworker: “What happened?”

(Let’s just say that I hope I never work with her again!)


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Stupid Heard You, And Stupid Answered

, , , | Right | August 29, 2019

(I’m just about finished with another day at work, with less than an hour to go, and I’m marveling to myself about the lack of stupidity today. I say goodbye to a visitor and she walks towards the doors.)

Visitor: *stands in front of the door, face inches from the glass*

Me: *blinks, watching her, at least ten seconds pass*

Visitor: *looks back over her shoulder at me, confused look on her face*

Me: “It’s… open?” *head-tilt*

Visitor: “Oh…” *very carefully pushes on the door and edges through it to get out* 

(She wasn’t a new visitor. The doors have never been automatic. I think… her brain just shut off for a moment. Seriously, though, never think that you haven’t seen many stupid people that day, because the universe will send you a reminder.)

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Unfiltered Story #160942

, , , | Unfiltered | August 28, 2019

There’s two employees on the floor at the time, me and our new employee ( who’s only worked here for a month). I’m assisting a customer with a warranty exchange on her phone, when my co-worker gets a customer. This older man comes in, obviously slightly annoyed. Be has our only
Man- “this phone isn’t working. No one can hear me when I’m talking on it”
Co-worker “ok let me just take a look at it”
Man ” the lady at the other store (a franchise, while we are the corporate location) tested it. She said you’d just give me a new one.
Co-worker “we still have to test it in our store”
She proceeds to make a test call with the man’s phone to our store phone. She didn’t have any problem hearing on the phone, so she brings it to me to test from the other side of the store. Once again, no problem with hearing on either end.
Me “Sir, we would have to recreate the problem in our store for us to give you a warranty exchange.”
Man “i thought she was helping me, not you!”
Me “well, you seemed upset, so i thought i would inform you of corporate policy”
Man “well I’m just going to go to ( competitor) !”
As he was walking out the door, he stopped and looked at me.
Man “and i wasn’t talking to you bitch!”

Who Doesn’t Love Dragons?

, , , , , | Friendly | August 26, 2019

(I am a Christian attending a youth event at one of our sister churches along with my own small youth group. One of my friends from youth group, who is asexual, knows a girl who attends this sister church and is also at the event. She finds her and brings her over. We find a place to sit and make small talk over pizza for a while. My friend leaves to go get more punch and the other girl turns to me.)

Girl: “So, you’re ace?”

Me: *a little shocked because I haven’t said anything about it* “Um, yeah.”

Girl: *suspiciously* “Do you like dragons?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Girl: *slams hand on the floor* “EVERY ace person I’ve met likes dragons!”

(My friend came back and we talked about dragons and cake. I’m not sure which was funnier, the girl’s frustration or the fact that both dragons and cake are inside jokes in the ace community!)

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