My Family Has Ghosted Me

, , , , , , | Related | November 27, 2019

My family frequently goes skiing in the winter. We typically end up staying at a nearby hotel for one night per trip.

One weekend, I have to share a fold-out bed with one of my younger brothers, who is taller than me and quite lanky. I’m awake long after everyone else is asleep, being an insomniac. My brother sprawls out and I don’t want to touch him, so I’m basically clutching the side of the bed for dear life to keep from falling off.

Eventually, I get fed up with the awkward position and move to the floor, which at least has more room. Once I attempt to lay down, I realize that there is a freezing draft down there and remember seeing an extra blanket in the closet on the other side of the hotel room.

I wrap myself up in the white hotel blanket and slowly shuffle across the room, not wanting to trip or fall because I’m tired and walking in the dark without my glasses. While I’m making my slow trek across the room, my mother wakes up.

She told me the next morning that when she saw a shuffling figure all dressed in white and thought that she’d seen a ghost! I told her that no, it was me trying to get another blanket because my brother was being a bed hog. We had a good laugh about it.

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Unfiltered Story #178376

, , | Unfiltered | November 27, 2019

(Today i work as order taker for the drive-thru of McDonalds and a guy comes up to the speaker)
Me: Welcome to McDonalds how my I help you today!
Customer: I would like 2 whopper Jr and…
(thinking he may have just misspoke I interrupt him)
Me: Whopper?!
Customer: Yes two Whopper
Me: Whopper?
Customer: Yes two Whopper Jr and two small fries
Me: Are you sure you don’t mean Big Mac or Quarter Pounder?
Customer: (sounding angry) NO! I have a coupon for 2 Whopper Jr and 2 small fries!
Me: Sir… this is McDonalds
(My coworker’s bust out laughing around me as the customer mumbles something angrily and drives away.)

No “Short” Cut To Junior

, , , | Learning | November 26, 2019

(I’ve just finished a solo singing audition for my school’s annual stage show. There are three people reviewing my audition: two teachers and a senior. The male teacher doesn’t know me. I’m only five feet tall and tend to run my mouth a bit when I’m nervous.)

Teacher: “Are you a freshman?”

Me: “Nope, I’m a junior. It’s all right; I’m just short. I’m mistaken for either a middle schooler or my mother; there is no in-between.”

Teacher: “You’re a junior?! I haven’t seen you before. Are you a transfer?”

Me: “No, I’ve been going here my whole high school career.”

Teacher: “What? Then I would’ve had you for [Religion Class]; who did you have for that last year?”

Me: “I’m in [Religion Class] this year with [Teacher #2]. Last year, I was in [Other Religion Class] with [Teacher #3].”

Teacher: “Sorry, I just can’t believe I’ve never seen you before. Usually, I’ve met everyone.”

(I wanted to laugh at how shocked he was that in three years he had never seen me among the hundreds of students in the school!)

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No Rest(room) From This Stupidity

, , , | Right | November 26, 2019

(The store where I work is being remodeled, and that includes tearing out and rebuilding the restrooms. There are three pairs of restrooms in the building, and one pair is closed at a time. The entrances to the closed restrooms are blocked off with ropes and caution cones, and a sign explaining that the restrooms are closed and giving the location of the other restrooms is placed by the entrance. I work as a cleaner, but I’m often near the customer service desk to speak to my manager or supervisor. This happens when the restrooms near the customer service desk are closed, and it happens multiple times:)

Customer: *looks at sign*

Customer: *looks at me*

Customer: “The restrooms are closed? Where are the other restrooms?”

Me: *internal facepalm*

(I also caught at least one person CLIMBING OVER the ropes and caution cones trying to get into the closed restrooms. I have no faith in humanity anymore.)

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Getting High On The Thought Of Drugs

, , , , , | Working | November 25, 2019

(I’m sitting at the front desk of an assisted living facility, having just accepted a delivery of medication for a resident. One of my coworkers is standing at my desk messing with her own paperwork. I call another coworker on the phone to come get the delivery.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], I have drugs.”

Coworker: “Sweet! I love drugs! I’ll be down in a minute to get them. Yay, drugs!”

Me: “Yay, drugs!”

(Our other coworker stopped doing her paperwork to stare at me and I cracked up. The coworker I called and I have worked together for almost five years, so we’re on pretty friendly terms. The other coworker only started a few months ago. It’s okay; she’ll catch up.)

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