I’m a patron in a library. I see a woman and a small child come in and try to check out a few movies.

Librarian: “I’m sorry, but you have to pay your overdue fee first before we can let you check out these books.”

Woman: “I always return my books on time!”

Librarian: “Our systems show you have fifteen dollars in late fees.”

You can have up to ten dollars in fees and still be able to check stuff out, so she only really has to pay five dollars, but she isn’t having any of it.

Woman: “I am not paying an arm and a leg to check out a book! You won’t let me get anything because you’re racist!”

Librarian: *Taken aback* “What?”

Woman: “You don’t like me because I have an Asian child!”

She is white.

Librarian: “Ma’am, you can’t check these out because you haven’t paid your fines. All you need to do is pay five dollars to be able to check them out.”

Woman: “I will not be discriminated against! You have a problem with Asian children!”

At this point, she is yelling, and another patron walks up to her.

Other Patron: “You need to calm down. We’re in a library.”

Woman: “Well, she’s racist and won’t let me check out these movies!”

Other Patron: “This is a library. No one wants to hear you.”

She then gives up and just storms out, pulling the kid by his arm pretty hard. I go up to the librarian.

Me: “I think she was having a bad day and just wanted to take it out on someone.”

A patron comes in to pick up a book he requested, and while I’m checking it out to him, he asks if I can help him with a computer question.

Patron: “My wife asked me to log out of our online accounts, but I deleted the Internet instead! Now when I close my email, the whole thing goes away.”

Me: “That sounds frustrating! Can you describe to me how you usually log in to your email, and I’ll see if I can figure out the issue?”

Patron: “What’s the second half of Google? Well, I always just type in ‘Yahoo’ and it comes right up, but I can’t even find the picture anymore.”

Me: *Racking my brain* “The second half of Google… Google search engine? Yahoo mail…”

Patron: “Luckily, my wife has a backup option. Now instead of the circle, she clicks on the one with the E, but I want the old one back.”

Me: “Oh! You use Google Chrome! Can you tell me, was the circle logo down here on the bottom of your screen—” *shows him the taskbar on my own computer* “—and now it isn’t there anymore?”

Patron: “Yes! I deleted it! How do I get it back?”

I wrote out the steps for pinning an app to the taskbar and demonstrated it a couple of times for him. He left, confident that he could emulate the steps on his own computer, and I considered the interaction a riddle well solved!

I’m nineteen, and I’ve been working in a public library for about half a year. It’s one of my first shifts alone at the reference desk. A regular who looks to be in his mid-fifties to early sixties approaches me, so I put on my friendly customer smile.

Me: “Hello! How can I help you?”

Regular: “Yeah, I think I have to make a complaint.”

Me: “Oh, no, what happened?”

Regular: *Grinning smugly* “You stole my heart…”

I didn’t know how to react at this point and just laughed it off, but his comment made me really uncomfortable. Later, I told my coworker about it. She all but dragged me into my boss’s office. My boss was equally furious and promised to kick the regular out if he ever so much as looked at me wrong. Luckily, I haven’t seen him since.

I work at an academic library. We are currently closed to the public. We have one bathroom upstairs for library patrons only. There is a public bathroom just around the corner on the school part of the building, and it’s actually closer and easier to get to than our library bathroom as it’s on the same floor and has an automatic door. Throughout the day, we see many people from various different departments, nearby schools, etc.

A patron walks in, wearing a mask and dressed very casually. I’m sitting in my office but I can hear everything going on from there. The man clears his throat pointedly.

Male Visitor: “Where is the bathroom?”

Female Coworker: “Let me show you where the public bathrooms a—”

He cuts her off.

Male Visitor: “Is the library bathroom broken?”

Female Coworker: “N-No. But let me show you where the pub—”

He cuts her off once more, deepening his voice.

Male Visitor: “IS THE LIBRARY BATHROOM BROKEN?”

My coworker finally convinces him to let her show him the public bathrooms. He comes back. This time our boss is also here. The visitor jabs his finger at my coworker.

Male Visitor: “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Dr. [Male Visitor]. I donate a lot of money to this school. I know [Person high up at the school]. Next time I ask you to use your bathroom, YOU LET ME USE YOUR BATHROOM!”

He glares at them both, turns on his heel, probably propelled by the panicked breathing of my coworker, and leaves. My two coworkers are standing there, shocked.

Our Boss: “It’s okay, don’t worry. I’ll let [Head Of Libraries] know what happened in case he reports you. I have your back.”

Maybe my coworker should’ve asked if he was affiliated with the school. But our next visitor after that was a person of the public who was looking for a different building and looked just as professional or authoritative as the rude guy. We can’t recognize everyone. But now we’ll definitely remember him.

Also, apparently, he had told my coworker that he had come from the same part of the building as the bathrooms AND had already walked past them to get to us.

Me: “Hello, and thank you for calling [Library], how can I help you?”

Patron: “I just tried to call the local government switchboard and no one was picking up; they said they were closed. What’s happening?”

Me: “Well, we’re a part of the local government, but I really have no control over their switchboard. I know they’re closed for lunch between noon and one o’clock, so maybe try to call back after that?”

Patron: “No, I called the number and the voice said that they were closed. I don’t know what’s happening!”

Me: “All right, if you hold for a moment, I’ll try to call the switchboard and see if I can figure out what’s going on.”

I put her on hold and call the switchboard. Of course, I get sent directly to voicemail.

Voicemail: “Welcome to [Local Government]. The switchboard is closed for lunch between noon and one o’clock. Please call back later.”

I hang up and get back to my patron.

Me: “Hello, ma’am? I just tried to call the switchboard and they are closed for lunch right now, just like they said in the voice message. Try to call back after one o’clock and they’ll help you.”

Patron: “And how was I supposed to know that? You really should do something about it!”

She hung up and I was left wondering exactly how I was supposed to stop the lone telephone operator at the switchboard from going to lunch.

Related:
Voicemail Fail, Part 4
Voicemail Fail, Part 3
Voicemail Fail, Part 2
Voicemail Fail