What A Weird Queso-tion

, , , , | Right | May 14, 2020

Customer: “Do you have that melted cheese sauce?”

Me: “Yes, we have chile con queso.”

Customer: “Is it cheesy?”

Me: “…?”

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Customers So Bad They Manage To Make Salad Even Worse

, , , | Right | May 7, 2020

I work at the salad bar in a grocery store. At around 8:00 pm we start to take it down to clean it so I go through the dining room telling customers:

Me: “We’re just about to take down the salad bar if you want to get something quickly.”

Customer: “Can I get some food quickly?”

I agree. I unplug the soup pans so they can cool down. When I get back, I hear the woman on her phone saying:

Customer: “—yes, you can come, too.”

A few minutes later she, another woman, and a few kids are all getting food. Fifteen minutes later, I’m bringing back cleaning supplies to clean the area and they’re still getting food.

Me: “Are you almost done? I really need to take it down.”

Customer: “I haven’t got my food yet.”

My coworkers and I wound up finishing it almost a half-hour later than usual because they wouldn’t leave. We became much more strict about it after that. You can get a bowl of soup or a plate of salad, but you only have five minutes to get food. No exceptions.

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Don’t Dirty Yourself By Stooping To Her Level

, , , | Right | April 8, 2020

(I am working an average day at my computer repair job when a woman approaches the counter carrying her copy of the repair order. This isn’t unusual as it’s an easy way to confirm it’s their computer.)

Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name]. Are you here to pick up your—”

(She cuts me off by slamming the paper down on the counter.)

Customer: “Look at this and explain it to me!”

(I look it over; she is pointing at the information about the device.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, did we check in the device under the wrong model or serial number and were you shipped the wrong device?”

Customer: “No! Not that! This!”

(She is pointing at the description of the device; under it, my coworker who worked with her has written “dirty.”)

Me: “Well, ma’am, when a device comes in we have to note anything about its physical appearance, including damages, so we know if something was damaged or tampered with while in our possession.”

Customer: “You made it dirty! I see a lot of filth around here! You put scratches on it, too!”

(I continue calmly.)

Me: “Ma’am, your device is not here and is still at service. I apologize if it offended you, but [Coworker] was just doing his job.”

Customer: “It’s my mother’s! If you knew anything about my mother you would realize you could eat off her floor!”

(My manager is on his way because she demanded to see him, but she leaves before he gets there simply leaving a note that she demanded that she be called after everyone was staring.)

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Unfiltered Story #189017

, , | Unfiltered | March 9, 2020

(I was waiting on my last two tables before I start closing my section. One table has three teenage boys being slightly loud and annoying. The other table consists of a mother, father, two very polite twin boys about 4 years old, and a baby.I walk up to the table to ask the family if they want dessert, but hear the parents trying to get one of the boys to eat at least part of his burger.)
Me: (to the boy) You know, if you don’t eat your food, I get to.
(The parents chuckle and we start chatting. I ask the twins how old they are and find that their birthday is in a few days. We give a free scoop of birthday cake ice cream to guests that are celebrating their birthday, which gives me an idea.)
Me: (to the parents) If the boys behave and eat their food, I can get them each a free scoop of birthday cake ice cream for their birthday.
Mother: (to the twins) Did you hear that? If you both take three more bites, you can both have a scoop of ice cream.
(The boys start eating their main course and I go to check on my other table and do some more cleaning. After a bit, I go to see if the twins have been eating, which they have been.)
Me: Have you boys been behaving?
Boy 1: (pointing at the remaining half of his pizza) Look! I ate a lot!
Boy 2: (holding up the remaining half of his burger) I did too!
(I ask the parents if they would like me to get the twins ice cream, and they nod. I being the ice cream and the boys thank me. After they were finished, the father comes up to me and hands me a few bills.)
Father: Sorry that you had to deal with those kids. Thank you very much for your service tonight.
(He gave me a 30% tip!)

Time Is Slowing Down

, , , , | Right | December 31, 2019

(I work at a gym. I’m working with a customer who needs a key for a separate workout area from the main building.)

Customer: “So, when can I check out the key?”

Me: “You can only hold the key for six hours.”

Customer: “So, when can I check out the key?”

Me: “Six hours before your reservation.”

Customer: “My reservation is at 3:00 pm; when can I check out the key?”

Me: “About six hours before that.”

Customer: “Which time is that?”

Me: “Well, three hours would be 12:00 pm, minus another three from that, so 9:00 am is the earliest you can come and get it.”

Customer: “So, I can’t check it out now?”

(It’s 5:00 am.)

Me: *rubs eyelids*

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