Time Is Slowing Down

, , , , | Right | December 31, 2019

(I work at a gym. I’m working with a customer who needs a key for a separate workout area from the main building.)

Customer: “So, when can I check out the key?”

Me: “You can only hold the key for six hours.”

Customer: “So, when can I check out the key?”

Me: “Six hours before your reservation.”

Customer: “My reservation is at 3:00 pm; when can I check out the key?”

Me: “About six hours before that.”

Customer: “Which time is that?”

Me: “Well, three hours would be 12:00 pm, minus another three from that, so 9:00 am is the earliest you can come and get it.”

Customer: “So, I can’t check it out now?”

(It’s 5:00 am.)

Me: *rubs eyelids*

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Rest(room) Assured, Someone Is In There  

, , , | Right | October 9, 2019

(I work in a fast food restaurant. I am cleaning some tables near the restrooms. There is one men’s restroom and one women’s restroom, each a one-stall facility. A woman and her son, aged seven or eight, walk up to the men’s restroom and try the door; it’s locked.)

Woman: *while jiggling the door handle* “It’s not opening!”

(The woman tries a few more times before turning to me.)

Woman: *flustered* “Why is this door locked? My son really needs to use the toilet!”

Son: *embarrassed* “Mom, it’s fine.”

Woman: *to me* “Is there a key so I can open this door?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I cannot give you a key. Someone is currently in there and opening that door would disturb their privacy.”

Woman: *realizing* “Oh…”

(I left the area while the mother and son waited for a few more seconds. I didn’t see the gentleman’s reaction when he left the restroom, but I can bet he wasn’t too happy!)

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Unfiltered Story #163289

, , | Unfiltered | September 17, 2019

(I work in a call center which offers teleservices to a number of different businesses and groups. I am finishing up a call with a man from New Jersey, who is ordering a cheesecake from one of our clients. For reference, I am male.)

Me: And your order should be arriving on Wednesday, and if you check your email, you should’ve received a confirmation email.

Caller: Well thank you so much [Me], you were very helpful! When you get home tonight, you let your girl know that you did a good job today!

Me: Well, sir, I’ll be sure to let him know.

Caller: *silence*

(A few moments pass)

Me: Is there anything else I can do for you today, [Caller]?

Caller: *click*

Gradual De-Growling

, , , , | Related | August 25, 2019

(I live in a noisy area and today has been a bit extra loud. I recently got a new dog, and we are still working on the whole “no barking or growling” thing.)

Me: *sitting quietly at the table*

Dog: *sudden loud growl*

Me: *looks at the dog* “What?”

Dog: *growls, then looks at me*

Me: “Do you hear something?”

Dog: *looks down and growls*

Me: *hears a very faint noise from outside* “Well, they aren’t banging on the door, now, are they?”

Dog: *looks back at me, growls quietly*

Me: “If they aren’t banging on the door, we don’t need to growl at them, then, do we?”

Dog: *looks away, growls even more quietly* 

Me: “Remember that other people are allowed to live outside?”

Dog: *looks at me and gives the tiniest of growls*

Me: *raises eyebrows at the dog* “Well?”

Dog: *sighs*

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He’s Better Off Talking To The Machines

, , , | Right | August 16, 2019

(I work for a large bank in the call center. I basically answer customers’ questions about their accounts. We have an automated system to direct customers to the right department since we have so many different areas.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help today?”

Customer: “Your computer system is so stupid. It really needs to learn English. I told it to repeat itself and it had no idea what I was saying. I kept saying, ‘Repeat, repeat.’ Do you know what repeat means?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Well, so should your computer lady. I speak English and it should understand me since this is America, and it shouldn’t bring me to you. I just wanted it to repeat.”

Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, sir. Is there something I could help you with today?”

Customer: “All I want is my last five transactions. There was a $500 and a $30 transaction. What came next?”

Me: “Would you like both your pending and posted transa—”

Customer: “Just give them to me. Just do what I ask.”

Me: “Okay, I apologize, just wanted—”

Customer: “Just tell me.”

Me: “Okay, there was a $35, $18.53, $20.01—”

Customer: “What about the $500 and $30?”

Me: “Well, sir, since you told me about those, I figure you didn’t need me to tell them to you.”

Customer: “Thanks for your no help.” *hangs up*

Me: *facepalm*

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