Rest(room) Assured, Someone Is In There  

, , , | Right | October 9, 2019

(I work in a fast food restaurant. I am cleaning some tables near the restrooms. There is one men’s restroom and one women’s restroom, each a one-stall facility. A woman and her son, aged seven or eight, walk up to the men’s restroom and try the door; it’s locked.)

Woman: *while jiggling the door handle* “It’s not opening!”

(The woman tries a few more times before turning to me.)

Woman: *flustered* “Why is this door locked? My son really needs to use the toilet!”

Son: *embarrassed* “Mom, it’s fine.”

Woman: *to me* “Is there a key so I can open this door?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I cannot give you a key. Someone is currently in there and opening that door would disturb their privacy.”

Woman: *realizing* “Oh…”

(I left the area while the mother and son waited for a few more seconds. I didn’t see the gentleman’s reaction when he left the restroom, but I can bet he wasn’t too happy!)

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Unfiltered Story #163289

, , | Unfiltered | September 17, 2019

(I work in a call center which offers teleservices to a number of different businesses and groups. I am finishing up a call with a man from New Jersey, who is ordering a cheesecake from one of our clients. For reference, I am male.)

Me: And your order should be arriving on Wednesday, and if you check your email, you should’ve received a confirmation email.

Caller: Well thank you so much [Me], you were very helpful! When you get home tonight, you let your girl know that you did a good job today!

Me: Well, sir, I’ll be sure to let him know.

Caller: *silence*

(A few moments pass)

Me: Is there anything else I can do for you today, [Caller]?

Caller: *click*

Gradual De-Growling

, , , , | Related | August 25, 2019

(I live in a noisy area and today has been a bit extra loud. I recently got a new dog, and we are still working on the whole “no barking or growling” thing.)

Me: *sitting quietly at the table*

Dog: *sudden loud growl*

Me: *looks at the dog* “What?”

Dog: *growls, then looks at me*

Me: “Do you hear something?”

Dog: *looks down and growls*

Me: *hears a very faint noise from outside* “Well, they aren’t banging on the door, now, are they?”

Dog: *looks back at me, growls quietly*

Me: “If they aren’t banging on the door, we don’t need to growl at them, then, do we?”

Dog: *looks away, growls even more quietly* 

Me: “Remember that other people are allowed to live outside?”

Dog: *looks at me and gives the tiniest of growls*

Me: *raises eyebrows at the dog* “Well?”

Dog: *sighs*

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He’s Better Off Talking To The Machines

, , , | Right | August 16, 2019

(I work for a large bank in the call center. I basically answer customers’ questions about their accounts. We have an automated system to direct customers to the right department since we have so many different areas.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help today?”

Customer: “Your computer system is so stupid. It really needs to learn English. I told it to repeat itself and it had no idea what I was saying. I kept saying, ‘Repeat, repeat.’ Do you know what repeat means?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Well, so should your computer lady. I speak English and it should understand me since this is America, and it shouldn’t bring me to you. I just wanted it to repeat.”

Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, sir. Is there something I could help you with today?”

Customer: “All I want is my last five transactions. There was a $500 and a $30 transaction. What came next?”

Me: “Would you like both your pending and posted transa—”

Customer: “Just give them to me. Just do what I ask.”

Me: “Okay, I apologize, just wanted—”

Customer: “Just tell me.”

Me: “Okay, there was a $35, $18.53, $20.01—”

Customer: “What about the $500 and $30?”

Me: “Well, sir, since you told me about those, I figure you didn’t need me to tell them to you.”

Customer: “Thanks for your no help.” *hangs up*

Me: *facepalm*

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Baby Come Back!

, , , , | Right | August 10, 2019

(I work behind the customer service counter at a grocery store. I’m used to people leaving stuff at the counter for us to watch while they run out to their cars: groceries, shopping carts, whatever. But this is new.)

Customer: *approaches the counter with a one-year-old in the child seat of a shopping cart* “Is it cool if I leave her here for a few minutes? I need to run out to the car.”

Me & Coworker: “Uh…?”

Customer: “I’ll be right back.”

(She pushed the shopping cart with the baby behind the counter and ran out of the store. Fortunately, my coworker was able to keep the baby entertained until her mom came back a few minutes later!)

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