I Have Not Yet Begun To Study For This Test

, | VA, USA | Learning | May 13, 2015

(I work in customer service at a university library. Research questions are fairly common, and if a librarian isn’t there we’re supposed to help as best we can. I get a phone call one day when:)

Me: “[Name] Library. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?

Caller: “Yeah, I have a few questions.”

Me: “Okay.”

Caller: *clearly reading from something* “‘Which naval officer is most famous for saying, ‘I have not yet begun to fight?’ Is it A: Captain Farragut, B:—”

(She proceeds to list off four possible answers.)

Me: “Ma’am, is this a question for a test?”

Caller: “It is, but it’s online and there’s no time limit; we’ll have plenty of time to read through each question.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t help you take a test. That would be cheating.”

Caller: *pause* “But, come on… It’s online. Everyone cheats on these things. And you’re the library. Isn’t it your job to help us with research?”

Me: “My job is to assist students with questions regarding research papers and theses, not help them take tests. I could lose my job if I were to help you take a test.”

Caller: “I won’t tell anyone. I promise!”

Me: “Might I suggest consulting your notes or your prescribed textbook?”

Caller: “But… that would take so much longer!”

Me: “Well, then, it’s a good thing there’s no time limit. Have a nice day!”

(I hung up. Oh, and the answer was Captain John Paul Jones. Hopefully she figured it out.)

Those Kids And Their Googles

| NC, USA | Right | May 7, 2015

(The phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, circulation desk; how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I was wondering if you could tell me what temperature I need to cook this turkey at?”

Me: “Ma’am, you realize this is a library, correct?”

Caller: “Yes, but can’t you use that Google thing the kids are talking about?”

Has A New Hope It Won’t Be A Menace

| ID, USA | Working | April 27, 2015

(We have a 24-hour-hold area where we can temporarily hold items for patrons who call to ask for an item, forgot their library card, etc. I start my shift one day to find DVDs for all six ‘Star Wars’ movies stacked in the 24-hour-hold area, with a note attached.)

Note: “Patron called and asked for the first three Star Wars movies. Didn’t know which ‘first three’ she meant.”

The Machines Are Already More Intelligent Than Us

, | Paris, France | Right | April 23, 2015

(I work at a library’s copy store, a fairly large room within the main branch of the library. At the entrance of our store there are three huge copy-card dispensers – about the size of a cupboard – with a different slot for each way to pay: coins, banknotes, and credit cards. On every wall of our store, several A3-sized posters inform customers that they have buy cards to do their copies.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but I paid and I didn’t get my card.”

Colleague: “Did you pay with credit card, bill, or coins?”

Customer: “Bill.”

(My colleague goes to the card dispenser with the customer.)

Colleague: “I’m truly sorry, sir, but it seems I can’t find your bill.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s because I didn’t put it there.”

(Then he pointed at the coin slot. And indeed, there was a tiny piece of paper sticking out of it: the corner of his banknote, folded in four…)

What Would Jesus Study?

, | NH, USA | Learning | April 21, 2015

Patron: *walking by the desk, shortly before Easter* “Look, I respect you and all, Jesus, but I’ve got a research paper to write.”

Page 27/70First...2526272829...Last