I sell carnivorous plants at local shows and events, including science fiction and comic conventions. It’s not a real convention unless I’ve had this conversation at comic and anime conventions, which is why I’ve mostly stopped doing either:

Rando: “Hey, I came by earlier, and the other guy here at this booth told me that I could [get a discount on this incredibly rare and expensive plant] or [take it for free] or [I could pick it up and take it now since I’ve already paid].”

Me: “The Other Guy?”

Rando: “Yeah, the other guy at your booth. I talked to him about a half-hour ago.”

Me: “I’m the only guy here, and I’ve been here all weekend.”

Rando: “Oh. So, can I still have it?”

The terrifying part? It’s watching the same man going from booth to booth, trying the same routine at each booth in the hope that it eventually works.

I work in a hotel. I’ve been watching the cameras as any night auditor does, and I’ve been watching these people for about five minutes now. There are about three of them and they’re just hanging around the car. The woman with them came in an hour ago attempting to make a reservation with cash. We do not take cash.

She comes in again.

Lady: “Hi, I just made a reservation online.”

She shows her confirmation number and booking information.

Me: “Perfect! I’ll just need to see your vaccination card and ID. Will it only be you in the room?”

Lady: “Yes, it’ll just be me.”

She provides the documents I asked for.

Me: “All righty.”

I say to myself, “Who’re the people outside, then?”

It’s at this moment I realize I don’t have a booking for this lady. Sometimes things happen, and the reservations don’t transfer over.

Me: “I’m not seeing a booking under your name. Is it possibly under another name?”

Lady: “Nope. It’ll be under my name.”

Me: “All right… Give me one moment.”

I check our emails, websites we’re affiliated with, and everything else I can. I’m starting to feel bad for this lady as it’s been about ten minutes of me navigating and trying to find her reservation.

Me: “All right. I’m going to contact [Website] support and see what I can do. I apologize for the wait; sometimes the reservations just don’t come through for a little. Let me see if they know why it hasn’t gone through.”

The lady rolls her eyes and sighs.

I contact [Website] and see if they have a reservation under the lady’s name, and guess what? They don’t. So, after about a ten-minute phone call with the support call line, I give up and hang up and ask the lady for her confirmation number again. She provides it, and it comes up with another person’s name.

Me: “I found a booking, but it’s not under your name. Do you know anyone named [Man]?”

Lady: “Yes, that’s my friend who made the booking.”

Cue the dirtiest professional look I can give someone with only my eyes. LADY, I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR CLOSE TO TWENTY MINUTES NOW! COULDN’T YOU HAVE STARTED WITH THAT?!

Me: “All right. Will he be staying here tonight, as well?”

Lady: “Yes, he’ll be staying.”

WHAT?! Didn’t you just say twenty minutes ago that it was just you?

Me: “Okay. I’ll need to see his ID and vaccination report, as well.”

In comes [Man].

Me: “All right, I’ll just need to see the ID and vaccination card, please.”

Man: “I have my ID but not my vaccination card. Can I fax it to you?”

Me: “Unfortunately not. I’ll need to see either a photo or hardcopy.”

Man: “I just wanna get the booking set and ready to go. Why can’t I just fax it to you? We’ve been waiting here long enough.”

I decide to be a little petty and decide to tell the truth about why it took so long.

Me: “I apologize for how long it took, but your friend told me the reservation was under her name. I contacted support looking for her name, but she didn’t mention it was under yours. We will need a photo or a hard copy of your vaccination card, and I’ll also need a card on file for the payment for [amount].”

Man: *Completely unfazed* “Yeah, she’s a bit of an idiot.”

He shows me a picture of his vaccination card and a card for the booking.

Me: “All right, perfect. Here’re your keys. Have a great night!”

Man: “Oh, could I also get a key for our friend who’s staying with us tonight, as well?”

Me: *Crying inside*

I am working for an eCommerce company that sells online courses. One of our USPs [Unique Selling Points] is the fact that we offer a one-hour free tutor service if you purchase a course. One day, my boss came to me.

Boss: “Please create a page for this category and list these products.”

Before I started to create the page, I noticed that the company didn’t have any tutors for this specific category.

Me: “We’re not gonna offer the Mentor service, right? Since we don’t have any tutors for this category at the moment.”

Boss: “No, we are going to advertise with the service even if we don’t have a tutor at the moment.”

Me: “You do know that we can be sued by a client, right?”

Boss: “What’s the problem?”

Guess it’s time for me to find a new job.

I work in a call center and I answer a call.

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “This is for order [number], the excursion going to [Location].”

Me: *Pulls it up* “Okay… did you have any questions?”

Customer: “[Competitor] sells it for [price].”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Well, match the price, you idiot! Do I gotta spell everything out for you?”

Me: “We’re not obligated to match prices. We are as transparent as possible on our website about our prices without any hidden costs or obligations. It’s the responsibility of the customer to research which merchant would be a better option.”

Customer: “Then give me my money back!”

Me: “It’s non-refundable. We made that clear on our website before you finalized the purchase.”

Customer: *Click*

Two minutes later, the phone rings again and I answer with my greeting.

Customer: *Click*

My coworker’s phone rings. They answer.

Coworker: “Okay… Well, normally, we are not allowed to refund these types of tickets for any reason, but if you can verify that all three of your children are in the hospital, I can see if I can try to make a special exception.”

When a customer makes a purchase on our site, we in essence buy the ticket for them from a partnering vendor and make the reservation. Any refunds come out of OUR company’s pockets, and we’d better have a darn good reason for authorizing it, especially for amounts well over $1,000, like this person’s purchase was.

I looked over at my coworker’s screen to see the customer ticket pulled up. I wrote on a sticky note, “He’s lying. Do NOT authorize the refund,” and gave it to my coworker.

Coworker: *Reading the note* “Sir, I’m afraid I can’t assist you. You’re going to need to contact the corporate office for a final decision. Their information is— Yeah, hang up on me.”

The phone rings again and I answer.

Customer: “Oh. You again. Look, why can’t you just match the price?”

Me: “We are under no obligation to do that. We state our prices clearly. And the tickets are non-refundable, as is stated clearly.”

Customer: “Look, I at least need the extra money if you can’t do the refund. Our electricity and water are about to be turned off, my two-year-old child barely—”

Me: “Sir, you’re going to need to contact the corporate office. Have a nice day.” *Hangs up*

He finally accepted his purchase and didn’t contact us further.

I was a medical scribe for about a year. One of the last patients I ever had was a frequent flyer. She had quite a long track record of going from hospital to hospital trying to get pain meds. You know the type — the one who says they are allergic to ibuprofen and asks for a narcotic pain reliever.

The physician I was working with that day happened to be the lead ER physician at that hospital and a board leader in the state, so he knew this patient very well. He brought in a nurse and me.

Physician: “I know what you’re up to, [Patient]. You’re drug-seeking.”

She became belligerent and started screaming.

Patient: “Someone else must have stolen my identity!”

When the doctor offered to call the police, she called him a racist slur (he was Indian) and walked out, screaming obscenities.