I own a restaurant. My little sister is trans, and in support of her, we’re doing a special offer for Pride month. Come in wearing anything rainbow — hat, shirt, pin, shoelaces, makeup, whatever — and your meal is 50% off, plus a free slice of rainbow swirl cheesecake. We’ve been advertising this pretty heavily on Facebook, so about three-quarters of our customers have some sort of rainbow on.

One night, I’m sat behind the bar watching the customers and employees do their thing. I see one of my servers talking to a man at a three-top — Mom, Dad, and their kid — and she seems pretty uncomfortable, so I head over.

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name], and I’m the owner of this establishment. Is there anything I can help you with tonight?”

Bigot: “Is this a gay restaurant?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Bigot: “You know, like the gay bars. There’s a lot of [slur]s in here, and I’m starting to think this isn’t a family-friendly place.”

Me: *In an exaggerated lisp* “That’s not a problem for you, is it, sweetie? Surely a biiiiig strooooong man like yourself isn’t scared of some sissies.”

Bigot: *To his wife and kid* “Come on, we’re going to [Chain Restaurant].”

The server and I had a laugh, and then I gave her a few extra drink tickets for dealing with him.

Yes, this promotion is costing us money. No, we’re not going to be in the black this month. By my best estimate, I’m losing $12,000 doing this. Some things are more important than maximizing profits. I’m cool with losing a bit of money if it means a gay kid in my town might feel more comfortable coming out, or if it let some trans person know they have a safe place to be.

This story is part of the Pride Month 2023 roundup!

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I play Dungeons and Dragons with a group of friends. We do it at a specific house because he’s the only homeowner among us right now.

While we were playing one day, a door-to-door marketer came knocking.

My friend speaks Klingon and answered the door in Klingon, his standard way of dealing with solicitors. To our surprise, the salesman answered back in Klingon, as well. My friend wound up buying whatever it was after the salesman was able to do the whole pitch in Klingon.

My friend invited the salesman to join us at DnD next week. He accepted.

Three years later, they’re married. The salesman also isn’t working door-to-door anymore; he now manages social media accounts for a company.

Back in college, there was a very loud religious advocacy group that would visit campus, set up their speakers, and “preach” the gospel to the students passing by. Now, I say “preach” because it was less “Glory to God who loves you!” and more “You’re all going to Hell because of who you are! Change your minds or burn!”

One such day, they set up right outside our performance center. It was obviously intentional, as a majority of the performance majors were part of the LGBT community, and the theater majors were not happy about having their space taken over. I had a class in the building behind the performance center, so I walked by the crowd gathering.

One of the advocates had a mic in one hand and was holding hands with a young woman I have seen in a few theater productions. The advocate seemed to be praying while the young woman stood there, half-smiling and nearly crying.

Advocate: “Lord, help this girl see the error of her ways! Help her, God, to see that her homosexual fornications are not what you want for her, but that she is here to bear children with a man, to love his family, to—”

Young Woman: *With a very dramatic tone* “Lord! You died for me!”

Surprised, the advocate shook her arm almost violently.

Advocate: “Yes… Yes, He did! He did die for you! The Lord loves you, child! Spread the word!”

The advocate passed his mic to the young woman, who stepped forward proudly.

Young Woman: “Jesus died for the gays! He loves us!”

There was a cheer from the crowd. The advocate dropped her hand and glared at her. I don’t know what he was trying to say because he was drowned out by the screaming crowd. The young woman took a bow and walked away. I went on my way to class, but when I came back, the advocacy group had packed up and left campus. They came back a few more times over the years and the message never changed, but I don’t think they tried to openly save anyone after that.

A suggestion on a client consultation:

Client: “The client’s gay so maybe add some colour.”

I create a slide deck for a client and am given this feedback:

Client: This word analysis. Change it to survey or review or something.

Me: “What’s the reason?”

Client: “Well, I’m not gay or anything like that, but all I see when I read the word analysis is anal.”

Me: “Would you be satisfied with probe?”