Not A Top-Heavy Romance

, , , , , | Romantic | November 4, 2018

(My husband and I are cuddling in bed, topless. He starts talking to me very tenderly and sweetly.)

Husband: “Never leave me.”

Me: “I would be the biggest fool in the world if I did.”

Husband: “Be with me forever, darling.”

Me: *kissing him* “Of course I will.”

Husband: “And never… never… put your shirt back on.”

(I cracked up. So much for the sweet, romantic mood!)

Not All Recoveries Are Medical

, , , , , , | Related | August 4, 2018

My uncle recently passed away due to tumors in his lungs and brain. After the memorial service, my cousin relates this story.

After a brain surgery, a therapist is asking Uncle how much he knows and remembers. He points to my aunt and asks Uncle if he knows who she is. Uncle looks at her and clearly draws a blank, before smiling and saying, “The love of my life.”

He had (temporarily) forgotten her name, but it was generally agreed he made a smooth recovery.

Winded And Wounded

, , , , , | Romantic | April 26, 2018

(My husband and I are lying in bed, both on our phones, before going to sleep. He’s laughing, apparently reading something funny.)

Husband: “I promise you that if I live to 100, I will still find fart jokes hilarious.”

Me: “Oh, hun, that’s optimistic of you. Like I’m going to let you live that long.”

Being Clean And Dirty At The Same Time

, , , , , , | Romantic | April 22, 2018

(My husband and I are taking advantage of the kids being asleep to get intimate. Having not folded laundry in a week, we’ve accumulated a pile of it, which we have pushed off the bed first. We’ve just gotten naked and are now on the bed. I am face-down.)

Me: *coquettishly* “Now what are you going to do to me?”

Husband: *whisper-laughing* “Make you fold the laundry.”

Me: *laughing* “And they say romance is dead!”

Books Are For All Kids, Big And Small

, , , , , | Hopeless | March 26, 2018

(I work at a library. I am helping an elderly woman find some children’s books: “The Boxcar Children,” “Nancy Drew,” etc.)

Me: “Are these for your grandchildren?”

Patron: “If I told you who I was getting these books for, you wouldn’t believe me.”

Me: “Try me.”

Patron: “My 80-year-old wife grew up with 13 siblings. They were very poor, and didn’t have the advantages I had. My mother always took me to the library, and I read everything I could get my hands on. I read these to my wife every night to recapture some of the childhood she didn’t get to have.”

(I started tearing up. Sometimes I really just love my job, and I love people.)

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