One Ring To Bind Them All

, , , , | Friendly | January 26, 2019

(It is the mid-2000s. I’m visiting friends out of state. We’re getting ready to go see a drag show at a local alternative bar. There are four of us: a recently-married couple who are visiting, a male friend, and me. The single guy makes a comment about not wanting to get hit on by other men.)

Husband: “You want to wear a wedding ring so everyone thinks you’re married?”

Wife: “Yes, we have an extra wedding band! We bought the wrong size, and because it is titanium, we couldn’t get it resized. Let me find it.”

(She finds the ring and it fits, so off we head to relax and enjoy the show. We find a space at the bar and are relaxing for a bit before our married friend realizes something.)

Wife: “Hey, [Male Friend], I just realized we ordered the same band for [Husband], only a size down…”

Male Friend: “Yeah…”

Wife: “So… you and [Husband] are wearing matching wedding bands.”

(Watching the realization flit across his face was great. We all had a good laugh about it and how we didn’t catch it earlier. Well, maybe the wife did but waited to see if we’d catch on ourselves. I think he opted to keep the ring on because it’d still work as intended, even if not in the way he’d anticipated.)

Unfiltered Story #137157

, , , | Unfiltered | January 25, 2019

(I work as a bagger/cart retriever in a large grocery chain, I was running carts and I waived to a customer sitting in his van, as I am supposed to)
Customer: *Waves me over*
Me: Howdy, sir. What can I do for-
Customer: Are you a spy?!
Me: What? No-
Customer: You must be, you saw me.
Me: Huh? I saw you?
Customer: How could you see me, I am behind my shield?
Me: Sir, I don’t see a shield.
Customer: My windshield. Ya know, ‘shield.
Me: Its a window, though.
Customer: I’m too dark.
Me: I can see you very clearly sir.
Customer: *Falls asleep*
Me: *Runs away to get carts, laughing the whole time*

Not Exactly Helping Yourself

, , , | Right | December 30, 2018

(Where I work, we are supposed to greet every customer: ask them how they are doing, if they need help finding anything, etc. I am walking past a customer that is having a conversation on her cell phone. Not wanting to be rude and interrupt her I call, I smile at her and nod, and keep going.)

Customer: *to person on phone* “I hate this store. No one ever helps you. They just walk past you.”

(And I kept on walking.)

You Have Been Outmatched

, , , , | Right | December 30, 2018

(A coworker is ringing up a customer who is on her phone the entire time. She doesn’t look up or acknowledge the cashier once during the entire transaction. The transaction is complete, so the customer walks away, still talking on her phone. The cashier watches as the woman finishes up her phone call, then looks down at her receipt. The customer storms back up to the register.)

Customer: “You didn’t price match any of my items!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t know if you want to price match unless you tell me.”

Customer: “Oh…”

Buy One, Get One Annoyed Customer

, , , , , | Right | December 28, 2018

(I work at a fairly large shoe store company where we do a gigantic “buy one, get one half off” sale twice a year. Very often we will have a pair of friends come in; each one gets a pair of shoes, then splits the total. They each pay less than they would have alone for the shoes, even if technically whoever is getting the half-off shoes is paying more than the shoes are actually worth. Usually, people understand this, but sometimes math is hard.)

Customer: “I need to return these shoes.”

Me: “I’d be happy to help with that. So it looks like you will be getting [amount] back today.”

Customer: “But I paid [amount higher].”

Me: “I see you did a split payment for a BOGO sale. You may have paid more, personally, but the amount paid for this item is only [amount].”

Customer: “But I PAID [amount higher]! Why am I not getting [amount higher] back? That’s how much I paid!”

Me: “I’m sorry that this wasn’t explained to you at the time of purchase, but you personally paid more than the price of these shoes. You paid for half the total, not just for your shoes. I can only return the price that was paid for these shoes because the other shoes aren’t being returned.”

Customer: “Where is your manager?”

Me: “I am the manager; that is why I can do a return for you.”

Customer: “The man who sold me this didn’t tell me that! You have to return everything I paid! I am returning my shoes and I want my money!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am returning the price paid for the item being returned. If you want the other $4, your friend has it because they paid less for their shoes with you both splitting the BOGO.”

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