I work in a very busy pork BBQ place. A family has just sat in a booth I am serving. I introduce myself and ask if I can get them started with any drinks. It should be noted that I am a gay man and while I wouldn’t say I am overly flamboyant, the way I talk makes it obvious to most people that I am gay.

Customer: “Look, I know you’re gonna make a big deal out of this and call me bigot and whatever, but I don’t care. Truth is, I’m uncomfortable having a gay person serve me and my family tonight, so I’d like to have another server.”

Me: “Well, since you’ve been sat in my section, and we’re fully booked I’ll need to check in with my manager. I’ll go fetch her.”

My manager is a large, loud, amazing woman. She is also a Christian, although non-denominational, and has had zero moral or ethical issues with working with people of different religions and orientations. I tell my manager what the customer said, and she marches over to that table.

Manager: “[My Name] has told me what you said. Let’s not draw this out. I will not be moving you to another server’s section because of your intolerance. You can either choose to stay and be respectful customers, or we can say goodnight here and wish each other a pleasant evening.”

Customer: “So you are choosing to discriminate against Christians. So sad. You need to do better.”

Manager: “I am choosing nothing. I am giving you a choice and you are the ones choosing.”

Customer: “Look, I just can’t support them being gay. It’s against my faith so you’re choosing to go against my religion by not letting me choose my server.”

Manager: “Oh, no honey, your faith uses the same book as mine.” *Reveals her crucifix from under her shirt.* “But we all know it says a thousand other crazy things that you are choosing to ignore; like maybe the part about eating pork? You could also choose to make this one of them, but you don’t, so that’s something you’re going to have to deal with; you’re not going to make it our problem.”

The customer gets up to leave, mumbling about how it’s sad that Christians are being discriminated against in America. My manager later said:

Manager: “Funny, I’m a Christian and I feel right at home in America! Maybe it’s because I’m not an a**hole…”

I work in the dietary department of a nursing home. I wear many hats, but one morning, I am working the dining room. At one table is a resident I’ll call Harry. Every day for breakfast, he orders two honeybuns warmed up. A coworker takes his order while I take care of a resident at the next table. I’ll call her Carrie. Carrie is hard of hearing, so I have to speak very loudly.

Me: “Hi, Miss Carrie. What would you like for breakfast?”

Harry: “Honeybuns!”

Me: *To Harry, as calmly and sweetly as possible* “[Coworker] is getting your honeybuns. I’m talking to Carrie now.”

Me: *To Carrie* “What would you like for breakfast?”

Harry: “Honeybuns!”

Me: *To Harry* “[Coworker] is getting your honey buns. I’m talking to Carrie now.”

Me: *Turning back to Carrie* “What would you like for breakfast?”

Harry: “I said I wanted honeybuns!”

Me: *To Harry* “[Coworker] is getting your honeybuns. I’m talking to Carrie.”

Me: *Turning back to Carrie* “Would you like waffles?”

Harry: *Sighing* “I suppose.”

I work for a heavy equipment dealer that handles parts, sales, rental, and service for construction, mining, and farm equipment. Most of our customers calling in for specific people will have a first name and department, an extension, or a first and last name. Sometimes all they have is a first name, so I’ll have to ask a couple of questions to figure out the right person, but we still get there without much hassle. 

But every once in a while, I get a caller like this one.

Caller: “I need the guy I was just talking to.”

Me: “Okay, do you know his name?”

Caller: “I just talked to him.”

Me: “Right, but I don’t know who you were talking to, and I don’t think I was the one who took your call before. I need his name.”

Caller: “I was talking to him about a loader.”

Me: “That could be a lot of people. Was it for service, rental, parts, or sales?”

Caller: “I don’t know! I was just talking to him. I’m [Caller]!”

Me: “Sir, we have a lot of people here, and I have no way of knowing who was just speaking with you. I can narrow it down and call a couple of people if I know how he was helping you, but without that or a name, I won’t be able to help.”

Caller: “I was just talking to him a few minutes ago about a loader!”

Me: “What about a loader, sir? Were we servicing yours, or did you want to rent or buy one?”

Caller: “I don’t know! He was talking to me about a loader!”

We go back and forth like this a couple more times, with me trying to get some kind of information out of him that would help. I even ask if the names of a couple of our more commonly asked-for guys sound familiar, but he just keeps repeating that he doesn’t know. I give up and start calling a person in each department to see if they know who might have talked to this guy. After I get off with the third department, the caller cuts in.

Caller: “Why is this so hard?! I was just talking to him a few minutes ago about a loader! He was gonna send a tech out!”

I try very hard to keep from sounding irritated.

Me: “So, you were talking to someone in service.”

Caller: “Yes! That’s what I’ve been telling you! I was talking to him about a loader!”

Mostly I love my job, but there are days when I really wish I could reach through the phone and smack people.

I work in a nursing home. I don’t want to sound like I’m making fun of the residents, but working with people with dementia can be a real trip, like the guy who screams and the lady who thinks I’m her grandmother. This one resident, though, is pretty sassy.

One day, I’m walking by and see a nurse trying to give her a shot.

Resident: “What are you doing?”

Nurse: “Giving you your insulin.”

Resident: *With some attitude* “What makes you think I don’t have enough?”

Another time, a medical aide asks for her finger so she can test her blood. The resident sticks out her middle finger.

Resident: “Is this one good?”

I’ve dealt with some ridiculous customer requests, but I think this one might be one of the most ridiculous I’ve had in a while.

Our equipment salesmen are assigned to certain areas, since the company I work for covers so much territory; it keeps them from having to travel from one end of the territory to the other constantly. This particular caller initially acted as though he hadn’t already spoken to anyone, but as soon as he was told who his salesman would be, his attitude changed.

Caller: *Aggressively* “No! I don’t want to talk to him! Give me someone else!”

Me: “He’s the only one currently available for your area. The rest are out of the office.”

This was due to both illness and vacations. Ordinarily, we have more available.

Me: “May I ask why you don’t want to speak with him?”

Caller: “Because he wouldn’t give me a deal! I want to talk to his manager! I’ll have him fired! I’m the customer, and he refuses to work with me here! I demand a deal if I’m going to spend all this money!”

Me: “Right… Uh, let me see if I can get his manager…”

I wasn’t able to reach the manager, but the caller was willing to leave the manager a voicemail, evidently expecting he would get his way. I messaged the manager to let him know what was said, just in case the caller tried to lie.

I got a response a bit later that my team — who answers the phones — could feel free to send the caller directly to him if he called back. The salesman DID try to work with the caller and find him something (used) in his budget, but the caller wanted what he wanted (new with all the bells and whistles) for a fraction of the cost.

Apparently, the manager called the guy back and told him in no uncertain terms that we would not be doing business with him if that was how he was going to behave.