Managing The Calls Without A Manager

, , , , , | Right | October 3, 2018

(I work apparel at big box store. When someone calls the store, it is the fitting room person’s job to answer it.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you today?”

(The caller is a woman with one of those horrible, deep, scratchy, heavy smoker’s voices.)

Caller: “I was in there trying on clothes, and the worker looked under the door at me.”

Me: *looking at the quarter-inch space between the door and the floor* “Ma’am, it’s not possible for someone to look at someone under the door. There’s not enough space.”

Caller: “Yes, they did! They said I had hairy chicken legs!”

Me: “Would you like to speak to a manager? Please hold.”

(I put the call on hold and ask a manager to take the call. Before he can get to a phone, though, she hangs up. Later, I answer the phone again. It’s the same caller as before:)

Caller: “I was in there earlier, and when I got home, there was a box of condoms with my groceries, but I didn’t buy them!”

Me: “Were you charged for them on your receipt?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “All right, just bring them back with your receipt to the service desk, and you should be able to get you money back.”

Caller: “I can’t, because…”

(I can’t make out what she says.)

Me: “Let me transfer you to the service desk.”

(At this point, I’m thinking that this was quite an eventful trip to the store. I tell one of my coworkers about these calls.)

Coworker: “She called earlier, and said she found a pink sex toy in the bathroom.”

(Later, she calls back.)

Caller: “I was in there earlier trying on underwear, and the employee looked under the door and saw me naked!”

Me: “That is not possible for two reasons: one, we do not allow customers to try on underwear, and two, it is not possible to see under the doors. Would you like to speak to a manager?”

(The caller hangs up. The person calls back several times a day for about a week, complaining about one of those three things. As soon as we ask if she wants to speak to a manager, she hangs up. After a while, whenever we see her number on the caller ID, we start answering the phone:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. Let me transfer you.”

(Some coworkers would transfer her to the service desk, but I would usually transfer her to the deli, because their phone was broken and they couldn’t answer it. She’d usually let it ring a few times before she hung up. I started called her “crazy condom lady.”)

Take Five And Calm Down

, , , | Right | September 24, 2018

(I am working in the fitting rooms while we are pretty understaffed. My rack is already pretty full. I can hear what sounds like a mother, daughter, and son in a fitting room. After a while the little girl walks out with a cart filled to the brim with clothes.)

Girl: “This is all stuff we don’t want. Can I give it to you?”

(I’m momentarily dumbfounded and can’t believe what I’m seeing.)

Me: “All this?”

Girl: “Yeah.”

(I technically can’t say no, but I’m very angry.)

Me: “I guess.”

(The girl returns back to the fitting room, and the family is in there for another twenty minutes, which is about how long it takes me to empty the cart. Later, the girl approaches me again with another handful.)

Girl: “Here’s a few more.”

(I take them, but I’m too angry to say anything. A little bit later, all three finally leave the fitting room. Technically, we do have a sign that requests customers to only bring five items to the fitting room for this exact reason, so I am allowed to remind people of this.)

Me: “Ma’am, I just want to let you know that we do have a maximum of five items per fitting room visit.”

Mother: *in a clearly agitated tone as if that was such a big inconvenience to her* “Okay, that’s fine.”

(I’m so angry my hands are shaking, as it will take me an hour to put just her clothes away. I go to return their cart to the front of the store, and I run into her again as she is getting another cart. She walks up to me.)

Mother: “I’m sorry for snapping at you. I’ll take five items next time.”

(I really had no choice but to say, “It’s okay,” but it’s not going to help me now.)

Unfiltered Story #119687

, , | Unfiltered | September 8, 2018

I am ordering breakfast. The restaurant is filthy, uncleared tables, flies everywhere …

Me: And could I have a glass of cold milk, please?

Server: Umm hm … (wanders off, doesn’t come back)

Voice from kitchen: Don’t tell me what to do, you b***

Manager: Go jump in a lake!

Server: Anything else?

Me (looking at half-raw bacon, no beverage, etc.): No, thank you. Just the check.

Me (at the cash register, in nastily sarcastic tone): Having a hard morning?

Manager bursts into tears: Yes! The morning manager didn’t come in, the cook won’t listen to me, the server is incompetent, and I responsible for staying!

I felt like a dog and tipped her for her stress.

Unfiltered Story #119088

, | Unfiltered | September 1, 2018

(I get some really ridiculous calls, but I think this one may take the cake. Counselor’s names are changed for anonymity’s sake)

Me: Good afternoon, [counseling office]. This is [my name], how may I help you?

Caller: *Garbled and slurred* –and I need to talk to [female counselor, who we will call Susan].

Me: Sure, let me just check that she isn’t in with a client. May I ask who’s calling?

Caller: Uh, I think his name was [name similar to one of our male counselor’s, we’ll call him Barry].

Me: Oh, did you need to speak with Barry?

Caller: Susan.

Me: Alright, may I have your name, please?

Caller: Uh, his name’s Gary, I think.

Me: Sir, are you asking for Susan or Barry?

Caller: Jane!

Me: Sir, we don’t have a Jane in this office–

Caller: Susan! I think his name’s Gary or something. *mumbles incoherently*

Me: Okay, sir, just a moment and I’ll put you through. *A bit alarmed now, as the caller is sounding like he might have something seriously wrong with him, I put the man on hold and page Susan.* Uh, Susan, I have a caller here who said he wants to talk to you, but I’m having trouble getting his name and he isn’t making much sense.

(Turned out? The guy was drunk and wanted to speak with “Laura”, a completely different counselor.)

Unfiltered Story #119071

, | Unfiltered | August 30, 2018

(I get these calls at least once a day, but lately they’ve been more frequent.)

Me: Good morning/afternoon, [counseling office]. This is [my name], how may I help you?

Caller: Uh, hi. Who is this?

Me: My name is [my name].

Caller: Uh, what company?

Me: [Counseling office]. *thinking, “Really? What are you doing, calling random numbers?”*

Caller: Oh. Okay. I’d like to make an appointment…

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