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This Answer Is As Clear As Glass

, , , , , | Working | March 10, 2021

I am a field service mechanic for an equipment rental company. Yesterday, I blocked a machine from going on rent due to a broken windshield. I am out on a service call when I get the following call from my boss.

Boss: “Why did you say not to send the machine with the broken windshield?”

Me: *Pauses* “Because it has a broken windshield.”

Boss: “But are you concerned about the broken glass?”

Me: “Yes, that’s why when I saw the machine with broken glass, I said, ‘Don’t send it; it has broken glass.’”

Boss: “But is it dangerous?”

Me: “Broken glass? Yes!”

Boss: “Oh, well, I just wanted to know if I could send it out.”

Me: “Has someone else replaced the glass since yesterday?”

Boss: “No, but—”

Me: *Interrupting* “Then no. We can’t send a machine with broken glass out on rent.”

Boss: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes. I’m sure. If it breaks further, it could cut someone.”

Boss: “Oh, I hadn’t thought of that.”

He’s a nice guy and means well but is kind of clueless sometimes.

When The Day Feels Twice As Long

, , , , | Right | January 8, 2021

Customer: “Why am I being charged for two days? I only had it for forty-eight hours!”

Give Him A Week, Then He Might Get It

, , , , | Right | November 3, 2020

A customer calls in looking for a dumpster for tomorrow, Saturday.

Me: “Our first available delivery date is Monday. We service Monday through Friday only in your area.”

Customer: “Okay, so no tomorrow?” 

Me: “No, sir, Monday through Friday only.”

Customer: “Okay, so how about next Saturday?”

When “Not Available” Means Exactly What It Should

, , | Right | March 30, 2020

(I work for an equipment rental facility that also offers online bookings. Sadly, I have some variation of this conversation more than I like to admit.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Rental Facility]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I was on your website and I tried to book a reservation. I kept trying but it just kept giving an error message that you don’t have that equipment available for some reason. So, I figured I would give you a call and book it that way.”

Me: “All right, what was it you wanted?”

(They then proceed to give me all of the details about what they want and when.)

Me: “So, the reason why it was telling you it’s not available is that it’s not available for that time that you wanted.”

Customer: “Really? I just figured your website was not working or something.”

(What is worse is that they often tell me that they went through and tried to get it at another location or another time and it worked just fine, but not at the specific day/location they wanted. How do you figure it’s a website problem, then?)

It’s All Down River From Here

, , , , | Right | February 27, 2020

I work at a place where people can rent rafts and go down the river. A few customers from Arkansas have too much to drink and end up on the opposite side of the river to where they’re supposed to land.

“You guys gotta paddle over here!”

Drunk Lady #1:
“We’re wasted!”

She then hits the water with the paddle and yells, but the rest of her group does not paddle. They begin to drift by.

“You guys need to paddle in or you’re gonna go by!”

Drunk Lady #2:
“We’re trying as hard as we can, you motherf*****s!”

Drunk Man #1:
“Y’all motherf*****s rushin’ us or something’? We could just float by… check out the rest of the river!”

Drunk Lady #1:
“We could, ‘cause these f*****s are bein’ rude to us! I know I’m a Southern Belle but I sure know how to be a b****!”

Drunk Man #2:
“Did those guys just call us motherf*****s? We have a kid here! Rude a**holes! F*****s are cursing in front of a kid!”

They reach the shore, and everyone stumbles out of the raft except for a terrified seven-year-old.

“I hope you guys enjoyed your day on the river.”

Drunk Lady #2
“How could y’all motherf*****s curse in front of a kid? I’m ten weeks pregnant, too! We’re from Arkansas! I wanna talk to y’all’s boss!”

The group starts cursing at us, and then one gentleman comes up to me.

Chill Customer:
“I’ve been coming here every year since 2006 and I’m gonna come back again, and I’ll be sure to leave those drunk a**holes at home.”