A couple of decades ago, I worked at an equipment rental place that also sold sand, gravel, and other bulk goods. I worked in the back sending out, receiving, and repairing rented machines.

We got a new hire who I knew from my kids’ school, and he didn’t give a s***. He would run away from customers or just turn his back to them and pretend he wasn’t there. He didn’t last long.

The funniest conversation I had with him was when he saw one of the women from the front desk hop into a Bobcat and load a customer’s truck with the gravel he’d bought. It blew the kid’s mind.

Kid: “Is she allowed to do that?”

Me: “Yup, she’s allowed to vote, too.”

Kid: “But… why?”

I work for an equipment dealership that sells, rents, and repairs heavy equipment. It’s just after 7:00 am, which is when we open. I’m the only one in at the moment to answer the phones, and I’ve only taken a single service call so far. I’m not even able to get my greeting out before this caller goes off on me.

Caller: “You’d better not transfer me to another d***ed voicemail! I need to talk to someone right now!”

Me: “I’m… sorry? I only just got here. What is it you need?”

He lets out an irritated sigh and starts talking to me slowly like I’m an idiot.

Caller: “Look, sweetheart. I’ve called several times over the last hour. I talked to you every time, and you keep sending me to someone’s voicemail. I want to talk to an actual person.”

Me: “We only just opened, so I can assure you it wasn’t me you spoke to. Likely it was our automated system. But if you’ll let me know who you need, I can get someone on the line for you.”

Caller: “I need a person.”

I resist the urge to tell him he’s talking to a person right now.

Me: “Right, and what do you need help with? Were you looking to rent or purchase, or do you need service?”

Caller: “I need a salesman. I want to a buy a brand-new piece of equipment.”

Me: “Great. I’d be happy to get you over to one of them. However, they aren’t in for another hour, so—”

Caller: “You’re telling me you don’t have anyone willing to sell me equipment?”

Me: “None of our salesmen get in until 8:00. I’m sorry. But I can get you one of their voicemails so they can call you—”

Caller: “No! I don’t want no d***ed voicemail! I have $50,000 cash in hand, and if you don’t wanna sell to me, then I’ll take my business elsewhere!”

I silently wish he WOULD go somewhere else just so I don’t have to deal with him anymore.

Me: “As I said, none of our salesmen are in yet, so I have no way of getting one for you. They work bank hours since many of our customers need financing. If you’d like, I can take down your name and number and pass it on to one of the salesmen as soon as they get in.”

Caller: “Fine. But you make sure they call me right at eight o’clock, sweetheart, or I’m taking my cash and going to someone who actually wants to do business.”

I did take his information and pass it on to our sales team, who said they’d call him. He called back multiple times later that day, and my newest coworker got him one of those times. He gave her the same “I’ve been calling for so long and have cash in hand and I’ll go somewhere else” spiel. She came to me in a near panic because she couldn’t get a hold of a salesman; she didn’t want to be blamed if this guy went to a competitor. I told her to try them again just in case and then move up the chain to a manager if she had to.

She managed to get a salesman on the second try. After she finished with the call, she relayed to me that they had, in fact, called him first thing that morning and talked to him, and if he called again, we could send him to voicemail. Apparently, he wanted to buy a brand-new excavator and refused to finance it; he thought he should be able to buy a (minimum) $100,000 machine for $50,000 because he was willing to pay in cash, and he wasn’t taking no for an answer.

As far as I’m aware, he either moved on to harassing a different company, or he finally agreed to finance (or buy a cheaper piece of equipment); we didn’t get any more calls of that sort after that day.

For a while, I worked for a small company that rented aquariums. Instead of having to purchase the tank, the equipment, and the fish, and make sure the water was right, we’d do it for you. All you had to worry about was feeding the fish every day.

Most of our work came from businesses that wanted pretty fish displays, but eventually, we also rented out to individual persons and homes. This happened because one day in late November we got a phone call from a lady who was very upset. As a Christmas gift, her workplace had given her a fish.

This lady knew nothing about fish except, “Fish DO NOT belong in bowls!”

After listening to this lady talk about how gifting living creatures was an absolutely awful idea, but now that she had the fish, he was her responsibility, my boss agreed to rent and set up an aquarium for her new fish in her house.

At first, she paid the more expensive business fees, but as time went on, with her paying dutifully every month and offering us snacks and drinks whenever we came to check her setup, he created a new price scheme for individual rentals.

We later went on to reuse this option for two of this lady’s friends whose kids wanted a fish, after she suggested to their parents that rental might be a good idea to test if they were ready for the responsibility.

After several years of watching us, asking questions, and helping out with her fish’s setup, it got to the point where our lady customer was doing most of the work herself and our check-up was really just a check-up. Then, it got to the point where we stopped charging to come by every fortnight and instead only came in if she called.

Eventually, she and my boss came to an agreement for her to buy her tank and equipment outright, and she stopped hiring us.

I don’t think this lady actually LIKED her fish. But I’m sure Alpha the Betta fish is still being treated like the king he is, regardless.

This customer is an amazing pet owner, who did the research and gave her fish a happy life, unlike those found in these 10 Shocking Stories About Customers Who Have No Business Being Anywhere Near A Fish Tank!

I work at a rental boat marina. A customer is going over the boat while I explain how it all works.

Customer: “Where are the brakes?”

I handed him over to my manager as I couldn’t in good conscience rent him a boat.

I work at a canoe rental shop. Basically, we offer canoe and kayak trips down a river.

Customer: *Stepping into the canoe* “Where are the seatbelts for the canoe?”

After my careful explanation as to why strapping yourself into a tip-prone canoe is not only dangerous but borderline suicide, she approaches my manager.

Customer: “I want to complain about the bad service. You’re not very safety-conscious here!”

We ended up refunding her money and she did not take the trip, due to the lack of a seatbelt.