Timing Was Not Their Chief Concern

, , , , | Right | February 3, 2020

(Because we’re in Eastern Kansas, it’s quite a big deal when the Kansas City Chiefs win the playoffs and go to the Super Bowl. My store gets a lot of merchandise in which sells very quickly. This happens the day of the game. Kickoff is at 5:30 pm. This occurs at 5:25 pm.)

Customer: “Where are all of your Chiefs shirts? Surely you have them?”

Me: “Sorry, we’ve sold out.”

Customer: “How can you be out?”

Me: “They sold like that.” *snaps my fingers*

Customer: “I don’t need Super Bowl stuff. Just the older stuff is fine.”

Me: “Sorry, we’ve sold out of that, too.”

(The customer settled for a plain red shirt. It’s not my fault she waited until literally five minutes before kickoff to buy a shirt.)

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This Name Survived The Third Reich

, , , , , , | Related | January 15, 2020

(I’m at my boyfriend’s house for dinner. I am meeting his parents and his siblings for the first time. I also have an unusual name.)

Boyfriend’s Sister: “So, what’s with your name?”

Me: “It’s a name.”

Boyfriend’s Sister: “Yeah, a stupid name.”

Boyfriend: *laughs nervously*

Boyfriend’s Mother: “[Boyfriend’s Sister]! [My Name] is a guest!”

Boyfriend’s Sister: “With a stupid name.” *looks at me smugly*

Me: “Actually, I was named after my great-grandma, who was in a concentration camp in the forties. She survived, but she later died from lung problems brought on by the terrible air in the camp.”

All: *silent*

Boyfriend: “Guys, I told you not to make fun of her name. I told you there was a reason for it. Now you’ve made yourselves look like jerks. Come on, [My Name], I’ll take you to [Fast Food Place]. You like the chicken nuggets, right? 

(Later on in the week, I got an apology letter from my boyfriend’s sister and it was signed by his parents, as well. Apparently, the girl got into a heap of trouble for making fun of my name.)

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Making Friends Over The Wrong Pizza

, , , , | Working | January 13, 2020

(I don’t actually work at the pizza place involved in this story. I am just a part of a weird chain of events that starts with my order being given to someone else, and ends with the receiver of my order calling me.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “My husband was just in there, and we got the wrong pizza. We ordered a pepperoni and what we got was an original meat. We live too far away to come and get another one. I was wondering if you could give me a coupon or something.”

Me: “Well, I would, but this is somebody’s house, not [Pizza Chain].”

Caller: “Oh, is this… [My Number], is that you?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Caller: “Well, this must be your order, then.”

Me: “Yeah, they remade our pizza.”

Caller: “Okay, I can’t find their number, then, sorry.”

Me: “No problem.”

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Fostering A Different Understanding Of How Eyes Work

, , , , , | Related | January 2, 2020

(I’m about twelve. My mom is taking me, my friend, and my friend’s foster sister to a Girl Scout campout. We get there early to ride horses, but the horses are canceled due to the weather, so my mom decides to take us to a store in the nearby town to get a snack.)

Foster Sister: “I can’t be here.”

Mom: “Why not?”

Foster Sister: “I’m not supposed to see any of my relatives, and one of them lives on this street.”

Mom: “Well… if you see them, don’t look.”

Foster Sister: “Okay.”

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Full Unsettled Jacket

, , , | Right | December 29, 2019

(This is my first day on the job working at a high-end clothing store which many people deem pretentious, but I know someone who got me the job. After I’ve dealt with a drunk mom who was taking her 20-something-year-old son jean shopping, a flustered, well-dressed woman comes charging in and walks up to me.)

Customer: “Do you work here? I need to know if the jacket I had transferred from a different store is in.”

Me: “Uh…” *literally my first day* “Hey, [Coworker], this lady needs help.”

(The customer is visibly annoyed but asks my coworker the same question.)

Coworker: “Let me check on the jacket.” *comes back* “I’m sorry, it hasn’t come in yet.”

Customer: “It hasn’t come in yet?! Are you serious?! It’s been two weeks now!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, let me call the other store.” *disappears into the back room*

Customer: *runs up to me* “Where’s your manager?!”

Me: “Uh, there’s actually not one working tonight.”

Customer: “THIS PLACE IS RIDICULOUS! I’m leaving!”

(My coworker finally comes back out grinning.)

Me: “What’s her deal? She wanted a jacket from another store shipped here?”

Coworker: “She wanted it shipped from [Other Mall] to our store which costs $50 on top of the price of the $120 coat.”

Me: “What the f***? Seriously?”

(The other mall is literally ten to fifteen minutes by highway from this mall. This woman was waiting for two weeks and was willing to pay $50 because she couldn’t be bothered to drive over there and buy the coat in the size she needed.)

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