(I’m working the register on a very busy day. This register happens to have an extra-wide aisle for strollers, wheelchairs, etc., meaning that the one behind me has a slightly tighter aisle. I’ve just finished with a customer when a woman in a mobility scooter comes up next. Because there is a big queue, I immediately start scanning and moving things to the conveyor belt at the end. When I reach item #3, she shoves a bag in my hands.)

Customer: “Put it all in there.”

(Bagging is not a standard service in Holland, but if customers ask politely or clearly would have trouble with it — I get a lot of elderly people with hands disfigured from arthritis or rheumatism — I don’t mind. So, in this case, I swallow my annoyance at her tone and bag everything as I scan it.)

Me: “That will be €45.97, please.” *glancing at the conveyor belt at the end of my register* “It seems one pack of butter slipped through before I received your bag, sorry.”

(The rim of the collection area at the end is maybe 10cm high and the pack is completely in the corner on her side. A person with finger attached to their shoulders could probably pick it up without problems.)

Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me? You lazy brat! Can’t you see I’m handicapped?! You really have no manners! How dare you treat suffering people this way?!”

(Grudgingly, I get up and squeeze my way through the 15cm or so between the carts from the line behind me and my conveyor belt. It is either that or wait for several customers to pass since the path behind me is so small. I pick up the pack of butter, give myself a few more bruises squeezing my way back, put the butter in the bag, and notice some liquid coming out of a carton of eggs.)

Me: *with a voice that’s oozing with sugar* “There you go, madam. Have a wonderful day!”

(I am working at the registers and mostly everyone in the store has radios on and have earpieces in. It is kind of a slow night when an older gentleman storms in, already looking aggravated. He storms up to one of the workers on the sales floor.)

Customer: “Hey! I need an Unlimited Power Supply; where are they at?!”

Worker: “I’m sorry, a what?”

Customer: “An Unlimited Power Supply! Where are they?! Are you stupid?!”

Worker: “I’m sorry, do you mean a UPS? An Uninterruptible Power Supply?”

Customer: “Never mind you. I’ll find someone who can actually help me.”

(I then just hear him storming around the store grumbling at people about his “Unlimited Power Supply.” One of the workers eventually takes him to the UPS area and that is what the customer was looking for. He then comes up to me to check out and the first worker that he yelled at says over the radio;)

Worker: “If we sell an unlimited power supply that literally works off perpetual motion, y’all better tell me where that s*** is, ‘cause I want one, too.”

(I burst out laughing right in front of the customer.)

(I’ve recently been promoted to front-end manager. A cashier pages me over for a difficult customer. I recognize her as someone who only allowed the previous front-end manager to check her out.)

Cashier: “She asked for you to check her out.”

Customer: “No, I asked for [Previous Manager]!”

Me: “I’m sorry, she no longer works here.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “I’d be happy to check you out, though!”

Customer: “Well, I hope you can give me the same treatment as [Previous Manager], then!”

Me: “I can give you the best service possible. But if you’re referring to the unauthorized price changes and discounts that [Previous Manager] did, it’s actually why she no longer works here, as well as other policies she ignored. While we do want our customers happy, we also have to stick to what corporate asks of us and be fair to every customer, including having them all pay the standard price.”

Customer: “Oh… yeah…”

(She was quiet while I rang her out. While she does still come in, it’s not as frequent, and she doesn’t ask for me to check her out.)

(This is a phone call that my manager frequently uses as a training example.)

Manager: “Hi, thank you for calling [Pet Store]. My name is [Manager]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Do you sell those super durable dog toys?”

Manager: “Yes, we do! All [Brand] dog toys are on sale for 20% off through the end of the month.”

Customer: “I bought one from [Online Competitor] but my dog destroyed it.”

Manager: “I’m sorry to hear that. If you’re coming in today, I can put one aside for you.”

Customer: “I don’t know when I’ll be in. I just want to trade it for another one.”

Manager: *pause* “I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t accept items that were purchased at a competitor.”

Customer: “But it’s the same toy. Literally the same thing. I don’t understand.”

Manager: “But you didn’t buy it here.”

Customer: “So?”

Manager: “So… we can’t return or exchange it because it wasn’t purchased at any of our locations.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***.”

Manager: “I’m sorry you feel that way. Will there be anything else today?”

Customer: “Yeah, f*** you!”

Manager: “Nope, you can’t do that, either. Have a great day!”

(I am a flight attendant. We always get some weirdos at work, but this one conversation recently has particularly stuck with me. Context: we are boarding a flight to Baltimore, and we have assigned seats.)

Passenger: “Hey, can we just sit anywhere?”

Me: “No, sir, it’s assigned seating! Your seat is printed on your boarding pass.”

Coworker: “The seat number is in the bottom right corner.”

Passenger: “Yeah, I saw it.”

Coworker & Me: *internally screaming*