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Yet Still They Come

, , | Right | March 28, 2008

(Due to a power outage we had to close our store. The lights were all out and there were 2 large green bristol board signs displaying “CLOSED, NO POWER, SORRY”. A woman walks up, walks through the entryway, and tries the door to the store proper, which is locked. She then turns around goes to the exit door, pulls it open, and walks in. I stop her.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, there is a power outage. We’re closed.”

Woman: “Does that mean I can come in?”

Me: “No. ‘Closed’ means you can’t come in.”

Woman: “Then how come THEY’RE allowed in?” *points to people behind cash registers all wearing store aprons*

Me: “Uh… they work here.”

Woman: *leaves angrily*


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At Least She’s Being Honest

, , | Right | March 24, 2008

(A lady comes in with a bag of shirts.)

Lady: “I need to return these.”

Me: “Sorry we can’t take those back, they’re opened…”

Lady: “Why the h*** not!?”

Me: “You can only return the shirts if they’re unopened. It’s the store policy.”

Lady: “Bull-s***, you’re trying to rip me off! You’re supposed to take these back; they don’t fit my husband!”

Me: “If you read the policy you would know you couldn’t bring them back, ma’am.”

Lady: “What store policy?!”

(I point to the store policy above and behind me on a red sign in big white letters. The lady snatches the bag of shirts and starts stomping off. My manager, who was watching the whole time, finally says something.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, next time you should read the policy–”

Lady: *cuts off my manager* “I DON’T F**KING READ!!”

SpecifiCity, USA

, , | Right | March 18, 2008

(I work at a sandwich shop. I have conversations like this every day. Mind you, he has a line of twelve other customers behind him. Also, note that Hearty Italian only describes the type of bread.)

Customer: “I’d like a six-inch hearty Italian.”

Me: *gets bread* “What would you like on that?”

Customer: “Six-inch hearty Italian.”

Me: “What would you like ON it?”

Customer: “Hearty Italian.”

Me: “What kind of sandwich is it?”

Customer: “Six-inch.”

Me: *heavy sigh* “Oooookay then…”

Must Be A Bunny Wabbit

, , | Right | March 16, 2008

Coworker: “Hi, can I start you off with any drinks or appetizers?”

Customer: “Lettuce!”

Coworker: “…”

Captain Obvious Throws In The Towel

, | Right | March 16, 2008

(I was working in the Specialty shop, which sells Mexican food, two types of sandwiches which are preassembled by chefs, and chicken strips.)

Guest: “What’s on the turkey sandwich?”

Me: *recites the list of ingredients, which includes cheese*

Guest: “Can you make me one without cheese?”

Me: “No, ma’am. These sandwiches come into the shop premade.”

Guest: “I just want you to make me a turkey sandwich with no cheese.”

(This went on for a bit. Finally…)

Me: “Ma’am, we have no sandwich-making materials in this shop. It is not possible for me to give you a turkey sandwich with any different ingredients.”

Guest: “Then what do you do for people who can’t have cheese?”

(I look at the ham and salami sandwich, which does not have cheese. I look at the fryer for the chicken fingers. I look at the shells for the taco salad, which is “Build Your Own” so all ingredients, including cheese, are completely optional. I look next door at the Grill shop, which serves hamburgers and hot dogs, cheese optional. I look at the Pizza shop, which serves items such as spaghetti and tomato soup. Then, I look back at the guest.)

Me: “I do not know.”


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