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On A Different Plain Of Understanding

, , , , , | Working | July 5, 2018

(I’m at the coffee shop at the airport, trying to get some breakfast.)

Me: “Small latte and plain bagel with cream cheese, please.”

Employee: “Small latte and…?”

Me: “Plain bagel with cream cheese.”

Employee: “Bagel?”

Me: “Yes, with cream cheese.”

Employee: “What type of bagel?”

Me: “Plain, with cream cheese.”

Employee: “So, you don’t want butter, or cream cheese, or anything?”

Me: “No, I want cream cheese.”

Employee: “Okay, and did you want a coffee?”

They Need New Glasses As Well As Their Drugs

, , , , , | Healthy | July 5, 2018

(I pull into a drive-thru pharmacy to pick up my prescription, and there’s just one car in front of me. It’s ten full minutes before the car in front of me drives off and I can pull up to the window, but I’m not in a hurry, so I don’t really mind.)

Me: “I’m picking up a prescription for [My Last Name].”

Pharmacist: “Okay, let me just pull that up.”

(She’s gone for a few minutes, and I’m starting to think that this is why the line was slow. Obviously, I think, they must have new people there who don’t know what they’re doing. When she comes back:)

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any filled prescriptions listed under your name.”

Me: “But I got an email saying my prescription was ready.”

Pharmacist: “I don’t know what to say. We have you in our system from about two years ago, but there’s nothing recent.”

Me: “Can you check again? I got the email, so I know it’s ready.”

(The pharmacist is gone even longer this time, and I’m starting to feel pretty righteously indignant.)

Pharmacist: “No, we don’t have anything ready for you.”

Me: “Look, that just doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand how I can have an email from Walgreens right here saying that my prescription is ready, but you guys apparently don’t have it.”

Pharmacist: *blank stare* “Ma’am, this is CVS.”

(I felt like such a complete moron that I just drove away in embarrassment. Pharmacist, if you’re out there, I’m really sorry I didn’t apologize!)

A Combo Of Outrage

, , , , | Right | July 5, 2018

(I am working as the main cashier during a very busy lunch rush, in a fast food chain that is considered to be “high end” in our area. Prices are higher, but portion sizes are larger, and we bring the food to your table, refill your drinks, and clear the table when you are done eating. Two women and a man come in with a toddler. The first woman has a coupon to get a free double burger with the purchase of a combo, but is complaining about the cost.)

Customer #1: “Wow, $9 for a combo! Are you sure you want that?”

Me: “We also have our [#1 Sandwich] on special, two for $6; you would get two burgers with all the veggies for the price of one of the other sandwich.”

Customer #1: *ignores me and continues to argue with the other members of her party*

(Finally, after holding up the line for five minutes and not letting anyone else order, they come up to my register.)

Customer #1: “Okay, we’ll take one of those.”

Me:  “The double burger, or the [#1 Sandwich]?”

Customer #1: “The one you said.” *turns away and continues to bicker with her companions*

Me: “So, just the two burgers?”

Customer #1: *annoyed that she has to acknowledge me* ” I said I wanted four!”

Me: “Okay, so, four burgers. Just the burgers?”

Customer #1: “Why didn’t you get my fries?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t hear that. Just one order of fries?”

Customer #1: “Two orders of fries. And a soda.”

Me: “Just one soda?”

(The customer just ignores me. I am frustrated at this point and ready to end the transaction.)

Me: “Okay, so, four [#1 Sandwiches], two fries, and one soda. Will that complete your order?”

(I set one cup on the counter.)

Customer #1: “Where is my other cup? I wanted two drinks!”

Me: *trying to keep smiling and not slap her* “Okay, let me just change that. I have four burgers, two fries, and two drinks. Is that correct?”

(The customer ignores me while talking to her companions, but the man speaks up.)

Customer #2: “Could I have no pickles on one of those burgers?”

Me: “Not a problem. Okay, your total is $20.”

Customer #1: “WHAT?! Are you kidding me?” *she is now almost yelling, and half of the very full lobby is staring at her*This is why I never come here. I can’t believe that. This makes me sick to my stomach. Literally, I am sick to my stomach right now! This is ridiculous!”

(She has gotten four deluxe, quarter-pound cheeseburgers, two medium fries, and two medium drinks for $20, including tax, which is not any more than she would have paid for the same items at a discount competitor. A few minutes after their order is taken to them, the man brings two of his sandwiches back up.)

Customer #2: “These were supposed to be plain.”

Me: “I am sorry. I heard you say no pickle on just one burger, but I didn’t hear anyone say anything about any of the burgers needing to be plain.”

Customer #2: “Yeah, two plain, one no pickles.”

Me: “Okay, so, I just want to make sure: you want two burgers with just meat, cheese, and bread, and nothing else, right?”

Customer #2: “Yeah, that’s right.”

(I sent the burgers back to get counted on the waste, and had two new burgers made. The kicker? Quarter-pound cheeseburgers that are not deluxe are more than a dollar cheaper per burger. Maybe, had the customers paid attention when ordering, and ordered their food correctly, I could have saved them a couple of bucks, and the female customer wouldn’t have had to be sick to her stomach over how much money her food cost her!)

The “Collapse” Of The Drug Trade

, , , , , , | Healthy | July 4, 2018

(I am working at a retail chain one night. While helping pick up empty pallets around the store, I pass out for no discernible reason, completely losing consciousness and only waking up briefly at the store to EMTs loading me into an ambulance. Strangely, I remember the rest of the events pretty clearly.)

Me: “No, no ambulance. I don’t want to go to the hospital; I don’t have money.”

EMT: “You have to go.”

Me: *trying to sit up and move away* “No, I’m fine. I don’t want to go to the hospital.”

(I lose consciousness again after that and wake up in the actual hospital room to a nurse taking my vitals.)

Me: *still groggy* “Um… Where am I? What happened?”

Nurse: “You’re in the hospital. What drugs did you take?”

Me: “Huh? I’m not on any medicine.”

Nurse: “No, what drugs did you take?”

Me: “None?”

Nurse: “Come on. You’re not in trouble; just tell me what drugs you’re on.”

Me: “I’m not on any drugs!”

(The nurse just gave me side-eye and left at that point, only to return with a doctor a few minutes later.)

Nurse: “Okay, you need to tell us what drugs you’re on.”

Me: *having recovered enough now to be (mostly) sensible* “I told you: I’m not on any drugs! I’m fine; I’d like to go now.”

Nurse: “You can’t leave until you tell us what drugs you’re on. Just tell us what you took and you can go.”

Me: “I’m. Not. On. Drugs. I don’t even know what happened!”

Doctor: “If you tell us what drugs you’re on, we can help you.”

Me: *out of patience* “I’m not on drugs! Why are you not listening?”

(Fortunately, my friend from work came in and did her best to assure the staff that, no, I was not on drugs. They finally ran some tests and let me leave, but I don’t think they ever believed I wasn’t on something. Seriously, I get you have to ask, but there has to be a limit. Plus, you HAVE my blood.)

The Phone Is On But No One’s Home

, , , | Right | July 3, 2018

(I am the customer in this story. I am in a video game store.)

Manager: “Hey! Welcome to [Store].”

Me: “Hey.”

Manager: “Anything I can help you find?”

Me: “I want [Currency Code for Gaming System].”

(He continues the process and asks for my phone number. This store has a rewards program in which can you earn points to get merchandise or coupons. I finish paying and then realize I didn’t have him scan my card.)

Me: “Shoot! I forgot to give you my card for the purchase to get some more points.”

Manager: “That’s why I asked for your phone number.”

Me: “Oh, yeah. That makes sense! Thanks!”

(I left the store just a bit embarrassed. Needless to say, I’m glad I’m a regular there so they know me well.)