Me: “Hello, you’re through to [Tech Support]; [My Name] speaking. Can I start by taking your name, please?”

Caller: “Hello? I have lines on my screen; how much to fix, please?”

Me: “Right, okay, not a problem. I’d love to help you out, but I need to take some details from you first, please, so I can update my system.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. I have lines on my screen, though.”

Me: “Okay, that’s great. I understand that, but I want to get your details down first, before we start.”

(I eventually give up trying to take her details down. We have some difficulty communicating, as English is not her first language.)

Me: “What we can do is get your SMC reset; it won’t delete anything. It’s a great place to start to troubleshoot these lines that appear on your screen.”

Caller: “No, no, no, no, no! I have lines on my screen! I have Apple appointment; I want price from you for fixing my Apple.”

Me: “Okay, that’s great, but I won’t be able to give you a price because I do not repair the devices; take it into the store and they will tell you. But I can try and do some more troubleshooting with you to see if we can fix it with you on the phone now, and it could save you a journey.”

Caller: “Okay, but I have lines on the screen, though.”

Me: “I understand that. Can you tell me what they look like. Are they vertical lines or horizontal lines in the graphics on your screen?”

Caller: “Yes, they are like that, but I want to know price for repair. Or do you just replace Apple?”

Me: “No, we wouldn’t replace the item; we would repair the device. We can try to reset some information on your hardware side of things to see if this can help at all. We can try this now if you would like—”

Caller: “Oh, okay, but I have cracks on my screen, not graphics lines.”

Me: *sigh* “Why did you not say that to begin with? Please go to your appointment and speak to the experts there. Thank you and goodbye.”

(I work at a 24-hour restaurant with a drive-thru. Every night we have to shut down all our registers and reset them. It takes about ten minutes, and during this time we can only take cash.)

Me: “Hi there, just letting you know we can only take cash payments currently, as we are doing our routine register close. If you are willing to wait about ten minutes, card payment will be available again.”

Customer: “Are you serious? This is the third time I’ve come in this week and card payment hasn’t been available. I thought this restaurant was 24/7?”

Me: “It is; however, every night we must shut down all our registers. During this time we can still take cash payment, because our registers are offline so we can’t take card payment.”

Customer: “So you are saying you have to do this every night?”

Me: “Yes. This must be done every night.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you say that in the first place?”

Me: “I did.”

Customer: “Well, then, why don’t you do it when there aren’t any customers?”

Me: “We do it when there is no customers; however, we can’t always predict when people might drive through during it.”

Customer: “Okay, I guess I’ll wait, then.”

Me: “If you tell me your order now, I can have it ready for when card is working again.”

Customer: “I’d like…”

(Ten minutes later:)

Me: “Good news: card payment is back online. Your order comes to [total].”

Customer: “Here you are.” *hands over cash*

Me: “We could have taken cash payment through our register close.”

Customer: “Well, next time, you might want to mention that first.”

Me: “I did. Just try to keep that in mind if you come in another night. We can always take cash payment.”

Customer: “We’ll see about that. The other stores are much fast than yours.”

(I get a phone call from my grandfather.)

Grandfather: “Hey, [My Name]! I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

Me: *coughing, obviously strained throat* “Hi… I’ve been sick.”

Grandfather: “Oh, that’s terrible. I just had one question about my computer for you…”

(I try to talk as little as possible. After the email thing is figured out, something which could have been easily resolved by Google, he says this:)

Grandfather: “Well, your grandmother wanted to talk to you, but I don’t want her to strain your voice. You should rest as much as possible and not talk at all.”

Me: “Mh-hm…”

Grandfather: “Well! I love you! Talk to you soon!”

(I’m the cashier on duty. Since we’re running low on bags, I make sure to ask everyone who’s buying just one or two small things if they would like a bag; many people don’t. Two teenage guys come in together. The first one has an armload of snacks, and the second one has just a soda, and has his earbuds in. I ring up the first teenager without incident, but the second one causes a snag.)

Me: “And would you like a bag with this?”

Teenager #2: *stares at me, doesn’t remove his earbuds*

Me: *gesturing to the bags* “Would you like a bag? Or are you going to drink it right away?”

Teenager #2: *continues to stare*

Me: *gestures to remove his earbuds*

Teenager #2: *continues to stare*

Me: “Right.”

(Since pretty much no one asks for a bag with just a soda, I decide to err on the side of conservation.)

Me: “Your total is $1.06.”

Teenager #2: *sees the total on the register, pulls out his money, and hands it to me*

Me: *takes money, hands receipt* “Here you are. Have a wonderful day!”

Teenager #2: *looks at his soda on the counter, and finally takes out his earbuds* “So, like, can I get a bag for this or what?”

Teenager #1: *laughs*

Teenager #2: “What?”

Teenager #1: “Dude, that’s what she was trying to ask you!”

(I gave him his bag.)

(We cook rotisserie chickens all day. To try to keep from throwing away too many, if chickens have been out of the oven and on warmers for three hours, we mark them down to half-price. This particular customer is a semi-regular and is always looking for half-off chickens. She has on multiple occasions mentioned the three-hour limit, so she’s well aware of how the discount works. We’ve completely sold out of our older batch of chickens, so all that’s left are the chickens I’ve pulled fresh out of the oven. I see her walking up to the counter.)

Me: “Good afternoon! Sorry, I know you like the half-off chickens, but all we have right now are ones fresh out of the oven.”

Customer: “I’ll wait!”

Me: “Well, I just pulled them out of the oven a minute ago, so it would be quite a wait.”

Customer: “I’ll take from what you have in front of you.”

Me: “You’d like a fresh one? Sure!”

Customer: “No, I want a half-off one.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’ve sold out of the older batch; all we have are these ones I’ve just pulled out of the oven, no marked-down ones.”

Customer: “Oh, then just give me the cheapest, freshest ones you have!”

Me: “Sure thing!”

(I proceed to give her exactly what she requested: our smaller-sized, cheaper chickens, since all of them were pulled out of the oven at the same time. She walks away thanking me. About five minutes later, she comes back.)

Customer: “I think we misunderstood each other; I wanted the half-off chickens!”

Me: *stunned for a moment, wondering how there could have possibly been any misunderstanding, but quickly gathering myself* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but as I explained, we had, and still have, no chickens that have been out long enough to be marked down.”

Customer: “Then I’m putting the ones you gave me back!”

(She did exactly that and walked off. I really don’t know if she was just hearing what she wanted to hear or hoping her persistence would have me eventually mark down a chicken way too early, but I’m still contemplating how I could have possibly been any clearer.)