Team Building Retreat With The Reindeer

, , , , | Right | October 8, 2008

Me: “Good evening, [Hotel]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I’d like to check your availability for December 24th to the 26th.”

Me: “We do have rooms available for those dates.”

Caller: “I work for the government, and I’m wondering if you have the government discount?”

Me: “Only government employees on official government business are eligible for our government rates.”

Caller: “I’m on official business, then!”

Me: “You’re trying to book a room for Christmas.”

Caller: *hangs up*

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Sorry, Jesus, Your Birthday’s Been Moved Up

, , , | Right | September 22, 2008

Me: “Hello, sir. What can I get you?”

Customer: “Um… can I please have a mocha latte?”

Me: “Sure. That would be $3.50, please.”

(Five minutes later…)

Me: “Here you go, sir.”

Customer: “What is this? Why isn’t the cup red?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “The cup. It’s usually red!”

Me: “I’m sorry, that is only around Christmas time.”

Customer: “What?! THEN MAKE IT CHRISTMAS TIME!”

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We All Snap At Some Point

, , , | Right | July 29, 2008

(I work at a store that is open 24/7, and only closed for 36 hours out of the entire year. Around EVERY holiday, there is someone who calls the store wondering if the store is open. This past 4th of July, I decided to have a little fun with it.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you guys were open today?”

Me: “No, I’m the only one here to answer the phone.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I’m out in the parking lot and there are a lot of cars parked out here.”

Me: “Yeah, I like to drive a lot.”

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Just Another Day At Work

, , , , , | Right | July 29, 2008

(It is Halloween; I am wearing clown makeup, a bright pink wig, and a bright orange shirt with our store’s logo on it in a HUGE font. A woman with a Bible in one hand and a cross in another comes up to me.)

Woman: “Do you work here?”

Me: “…yes.”

Woman: “YOU WILL ALL BURN IN HELL FOR SELLING THESE ITEMS CELEBRATING SATAN’S HOLIDAY!” *turns to customers* “…AND YOU WILL BURN FOR SUPPORTING THEM!”

Manager: *over loudspeaker* “Thank you for shopping at [Store]! All items are now 6.66% off for the next 6 minutes, 66 seconds. Thank you, and have a nice day!”


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The War Of 1812 Revisited

, , , | Right | July 25, 2008

Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

Old Man: “Thank you. Is your family doing anything for the 4th of July?”

Me: “Not really. We’re Canadian so we may hold a BBQ on July 1st, which is Canada Day.”

Old Man: “WHAT? You’re not American? I thought all foreigners had to become American when they came to this country!”

Me: “No, sir, my family all has green cards, so we’re all still Canadian citizens.”

Old Man: “I’M SICK OF ALL YOU F****** ILLEGAL ALIENS TAKING ALL OUR F****** JOBS! AN AMERICAN BOY SHOULD HAVE YOUR JOB!”


This story is part of our July 4th roundup!

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