Someone Needs Sensitivity Training

, , , | Right | May 16, 2008

(I’m at home on Christmas Day with my family, eating dinner. Our number is similar to a floral shop in our town, so we’re constantly getting calls from customers.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “WHERE ARE MY FLOWERS?! I ORDERED MY FLOWERS FOR NOON ON CHRISTMAS DAY AND I DON’T HAVE THEM YET! WHY CAN’T YOU PEOPLE EVER DELIVER MY FLOWERS RIGHT?! LAST YEAR, I…”

(I predict a whole novel’s worth of stories, so I figure I’ll cut in.)

Me: “Sir! This isn’t the floral shop; you have the wrong number. This is [my number] and you just interrupted our Christmas dinner.”

Caller: “WELL, F*** YOUR CHRISTMAS DINNER!” *click*


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The Sweet, Slightly Nutty Taste Of Surrender

, , | Right | May 6, 2008

Customer: “Where are your walnuts?”

Me: “It’s over with the other nuts.”

Customer: “I didn’t see them.”

Me: “They’re next to the cashews. Trust me, when you see them, you will laugh.”

(Time passes, I finish filling my bin and wade through Christmas crowd to check on the customer. I find her standing right in front of the walnuts. She’s clearly found them.)

Me: “You found them.”

Customer: “Yeah. I couldn’t see them because the sign was in the way.”

(Note that she’s referring to a large, 18 inch sign with three inch wide red letters that read WALNUTS. It was added because customers complained they couldn’t find them.)

Me: “You couldn’t see the walnuts because of the sign that said WALNUTS?”

Customer: *angry* “Yeah, that’s right!”

Me: “I… can’t help you.”

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Conscience: We Loves It

, , , , , , , | Right | April 23, 2008

(This is around Halloween, and Halloween parties in Madison is THE biggest event of the year. My store has many Halloween costumes and other Halloween-related products during that time. I am at my cash register for check-out when a customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “Hi. Uhh… I’d like to buy these.”

(The customer puts down a wig, make-ups, a pantyhose, condoms, and lubes on my register.)

Me: “Okay.” *starts scanning*

Customer: “…”

Me: *still scanning*

Customer: “DON’T JUDGE ME!” *runs out*

Me: “?!”

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Fun With Mistaken Identities

, | Right | April 19, 2008

(I am a customer in a certain large toy store during Christmas and it is crowded. I’m on my lunch break, but still have the name tag on from my job. Note I am not in a uniform — I’m in jeans and a t-shirt. I get to where the queue is, and a woman accosts me.)

Customer: “It’s about time you opened another register! It’s disgraceful you keep us waiting like this. We’re busy people!”

Me: “You know, you’re right. It IS disgraceful. I quit!”

(I took off my badge before she realised I’m not an employee, and walked out of the store.)


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No Pink Bunnies, But Plenty Of Jackasses

, , , | Right | April 12, 2008

(During Christmas season, our large bookstore gets awfully busy. The phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a book.”

Me: “Sure, I can help you out. Do you know the title?”

Customer: “Okay, so, the book is about a bunny rabbit and I used to read it when I was a kid. It had a pink cover.”

Me: “Do you know the title, maybe?”

Customer: “Look, I’m very busy and I need this book for my kid. It’s about a bunny and the cover is pink. How many pink bunny books can there possibly be? Go look for it!”

Me: “Sir, we have no option in our search system regarding book covers–”

Customer: “Look. Go f****** find it. I’m very busy!”

Me: “Sure, let me put you on hold for a little bit.” *click*

(Later, I found out that a customer came in looking for a pink bunny book and a “fruity-sounding” bookseller. I’m a girl.)

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