The Glitter Is Golden Years

, , , , , | Right | October 22, 2020

It’s Tuesday. I’m ordering in my department and an older woman approaches me.

Customer: “Excuse me. Do you work here?”

Me: “Yes! Can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m looking for glitter.”

Me: “Oh, sure! I can show you which aisle that’s in!”

The aisle with the glitter isn’t far from where I’m ordering, and our company policy is to show customers to the items they ask for most of the time, so I walk her to the aisle.

Me: “Glitter is right in this aisle!”

I gesture, and the customer thanks me profusely. I head back to where I was when she first approached me and continue my order. Another customer passes me and I greet her, and then the older lady from before catches my attention.

Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Did you need some more help?”

Customer: “Yes! I’m legally blind, and I’ve lost my husband! He’s tall with white hair, and his name is [Husband].”

Me: “Well, I’ll see if I can find him! Otherwise, I could always page him for you.”

Customer: “Oh, page him! What a good idea! You’re wonderful!”

Me: “I’ll see if I find him, or I’ll have someone page him for you.”

I walk away to head to a phone, but I take a quick little detour through a couple of nearby aisles, just in case her husband is down one of them. As I round a corner, I see a man matching his description a few aisles down.

Me: “Are you looking for your wife? Are you [Husband]? She’s over this way!”

The husband smiles a little at me, looking relieved, and follows me to the aisle where I’ve left his wife browsing.

Me: “I found him! Didn’t even have to page him!”

Customer: “Oh, there you are! Look, I found these! She helped me!”

They both thanked me, and I smiled and assured them it was no problem and went back to my department. I saw the couple a few minutes later, holding hands. Part of me wishes I would have stayed with her a little longer and helped her find the colors she needed, but she seemed to have it handled when I left her the first time.


This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for October 2020!

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Never Too Old For The O

, , , , | Right | October 2, 2020

I am making a drink for a white-haired, little old lady customer. I am a twenty-two-year-old male barista. Though she is always nice enough, she is very chatty with baristas. Today, she has gotten a very particular drink.

Me: “Wow, you have got one heck of a drink today.”

Customer: “Well, you see, I got my free reward drink today, so I ordered my special one.”

Me: *Laughs* “I’ll make sure to give it its proper attention.”

Customer: “I am sure that you’ll make it just fine.”

After a bit more talking, I hand off her drink and she walks off.

Customer: “Oooh!”

The customer quickly walks back and leans over the counter, and I am prepared to remake the drink for some mistake.

Customer: “I just wanted you to know this drink is nearly orgasmic!”

I am taken aback and can think of nothing to say; I just laugh and stammer.

Customer: “But I shouldn’t say something like in public, now, should I?”

The customer then left as my wide-eyed coworker started laughing at me.

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Gotta Make Up For That Wage Gap Somehow

, , , , , | Working | September 18, 2020

My great-grandmother was an incredible woman and quite a bit of a penny pincher. She was women’s lib before that even existed. She had a separate bank account from her husband and actually owned land in her own name — an unusual thing back in the 1930s. She once threw a fit when the bank added my great-grandfather’s name to her bank account without permission. He also told the bank that what they did was wrong.

So, because of this, she was very careful and shrewd with her money. She had a business and believed in giving customers full benefit for their money… but she also demanded the same from others.

One day, when she is around ninety, she has a plumbing issue and has to call a professional. He actually is able to fix it in less than thirty minutes. The problem comes when he presents the bill.

Great-Grandmother: “Wait. Why are you charging me for two hours of labor when you only worked for less than thirty minutes?”

Plumber: “That is our minimum labor charge.”

Great-Grandmother: “Then you owe me an hour and a half of work.” *Hands him a rake* “You can rake up the leaves in my yard.”

Plumber: *Incredulous pause* “You have got to be kidding me. I am a plumber.”

Great-Grandmother: “Good for you. If I am going to pay for two hours of labor, you will earn two hours of labor. Now get to work.”

After standing there for a minute, he realized that this little old woman was not kidding. The plumber picked up the rake and spent the next hour and a half raking up leaves.

My great-grandmother came out after an hour and a half with a glass of lemonade and the money to pay the bill.

She did this with anyone and everyone she hired to do anything. They did not argue and she paid them gladly. 

I miss her.


This story is part of our Best Of September 2020 roundup!

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The Beery Dearies

, , , , | Right | September 7, 2020

I am arranging some food at the grocery store when two elderly ladies come up to me, looking conservative in their long skirts and very simple shirts.

Elderly Lady: “Hello, dearie!”

Me: “Hello! Can I help you?”

Elderly Lady: “I think you can.”

Her voice suddenly becomes more rough and casual.

Elderly Lady: “Where’s the beer?”

Me: “The beer?”

Elderly Lady: “Yes, the beer! All I see is wine around here, but I want beer. Where is it?”

Me: “Uh, it’s in the back near the soda.”

Elderly Lady: “Oh! That would make sense.”

She switches back to the little-old-lady voice.

Elderly Lady: “Thank you, dearie!”

The two ladies trotted off to the back to find their beer. More power to them.

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Life Goals!

, , , , | Related | September 4, 2020

I am on holiday on the Gold Coast, Queensland. I go for a walk while my wife takes a nap. I walk 12km, but along the way, I need a “rest stop” and go into a local Surf Lifesaving Club. 

When I come out, there is an older woman sitting there looking out at the beach. I ask her what city I am looking back at.

Woman: “I don’t know; I’ve only been here a week.”

It’s Coolangatta.

Me: “What brought you here?”

Woman: “Well, I lived in Tasmania, and I sold my house when my husband died and rented a smaller place. My son and daughter-in-law moved in with me as they had a few problems and they could save a bit of rent money that way. I just had my seventy-fifth birthday, and my son said to me, ‘Well, Mum, time to get a power of attorney for me and for you to move into a retirement home.’”

She pauses and looks out at the beach again.

Woman: “I left them a note on the kitchen table that night and came over here. I’m going to live here where it’s nice and warm. Move into a retirement home and give them access to my money, my foot. They can go find another sucker to be their goldmine.”

I laughed and said I thought she was fantastic. I’m sorry I didn’t give her a hug. Good on you, ma’am; I hope it’s all still working for you!


This story is part of our Best Of September 2020 roundup!

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