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Hex Codes, Not Hexes

, , , , , , | Right | May 29, 2023

I work in the small graphic design section of a web design company. I only interact with clients for the design aspect of their websites. One of them video-calls me in a panic.

Client: “The customers aren’t signing up for the loyalty program!”

Me: “I see. Well, that’s an operational issue, and I work in graphic design, so let me transfer you to—”

Client: “No! You designed the button that links our customers to the loyalty program! You need to make them click it!”

Me: “Well, I suppose we could try a few more eye-catching designs to—”

Client: “I need you to guarantee me a 100% sign-up rate.”

Me: “Well… that’s impossible.”

Client: “What am I paying you people for?!”

Me: “Sir, I’m just the graphic designer, so I can’t speak for the operational team, but no one can guarantee a 100% sign-up rate, ever. No one gets that!”

Client: “I am paying you to get people to sign up for my loyalty program!”

Me: “And I can design eye-catching ways to direct users to your program, but I can’t make them sign up.”

Client: “Why not?”

Me: “Because—”

Because this is a video call, the conversation has been broadcast to those in the room. Usually, this isn’t an issue, but my manager has had enough and steps over.

Manager: “Because she designs graphics; she doesn’t force your readers to sign up for a loyalty program.”

Client: “I just don’t understand why you can’t do what I ask.”

Manager: “Because we’re website designers, not hypnotists.”

My manager closes up the conversation quickly.

Manager: “Seriously, what do they want? Witchcraft?”

The operational lead later came over to our office, looking confused, and asked if we knew why the client suddenly wanted to put “hypnotic designs” on the loyalty sign-up page.

Bad With People AND With Business. Now There’s A Shocker.

, , , , , , | Working | May 25, 2023

I do graphic design-related work. I’m in my fifties and have been doing this for over twenty-five years!

A temp agency sent me to a gig at a small publishing company. The owner/boss/art director was absolutely horrible; she was condescending and patronizing, questioned all my skills and decisions, shrieked and yelled at me, and had tantrums when unfortunate but not unheard of computer-related issues happened — files got overwritten, documents with typo got sent to printers, etc.

She treated me so badly that I was in a constant state of shock and disbelief; she left me so rattled I started making more mistakes. The rest of the staff reassured and comforted me daily. (“We think you’re doing great!” “It’s her, not you.”)

I found another gig and left, but I offered to finish up a project off-site — not for free but I would work at home. [Boss] sent me several emails, not understanding that I wasn’t coming into the office anymore, and not understanding my offer to finish the project. She sent me all these confusing emails, and then she saw me waiting for a bus, parked her car, and got out to berate me!

Boss: “We spent so much money getting you up to speed!”

Boss: “You left us in the lurch!”

Boss: “Can you come in this Sunday to finish the job?”

The following week, the agency that sent me there told me she hadn’t been paying her bills and they were on the verge of closing the account, and they told me to cut off all contact!

Vindicated! She really was truly evil!