Time Travelling Is No Fun In The Real World

, , , , , | Healthy | April 20, 2020

I work as a cashier at a department store. This elderly couple comes up to the register. They’re regulars and also happen to be the grandparents of my Person In Charge.

The woman writes a check, like she always does, and hands it to me when she’s finished. I do a quick once-over but then notice something strange. The date she has just written is wrong. And I don’t mean, oh, she put last month or the wrong day on. We are in August of 2018 and the date she wrote was December 13th… 1947. I have her correct it and off she goes.

I call my PIC over to my register.

Me: “Um, [PIC], I need to tell you something. Your grandma came through my line and wrote a check but she got the date wrong. Like… really really wrong.”

I pull the check out and show it to him.

Me: “I think you need to take her to the doctor as soon as possible. My brother is a fireman and I’ve heard of things like this happening. I don’t think it’s life-threatening at the moment; she seemed fine aside from the date. But something is wrong.”

The next day, he took her to the doctor to get checked out. It turned out she’d had a small stroke and had the onset of dementia.

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Retail Workers Need Something Sweet

, , , , , | Right | April 15, 2020

I work as a cashier in a grocery store. I’ve only been working there for a few weeks when they book me in for the first time on a Sunday; it’s usually very busy on weekends so they try to ease new cashiers into it. As predicted, it is quite busy. My coworker next to me has a line-up of people and as I am free, I ask the old man and middle-aged woman who are next in line if they want to come through my cash.

Middle-Aged Woman: “No, thank you. He has Alzheimer’s so we try to keep the routine the same. We always go through this cash.”

Me: “Oh, okay. No problem!”

A few minutes later, the old man comes up behind me and taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and he holds out a candy for me. A bit confused, I take the candy and thank him. Then, he looks around and places another one in my hand.

Old Man: “You’re worth it.”

He then smiled, squeezed my hand, and left with his caretaker. Every Sunday for the past two years that I’ve worked there, the old man comes in with his caretaker and gives each cashier a candy, but he always gives me two and tells me I’m worth it.


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Entitlement Isn’t Just For Young People

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 6, 2020

I am on the bus today heading home. Some seats are marked for disabled, elderly people, but everyone can sit there, especially if some are free. A mum and her daughter are sitting on these seats but there is one free just in front of me. An elderly lady enters and stands in front of the child.

I’m usually very polite with people, especially elders.

Elderly Lady: “I want this seat! Give it to me.”

Me: “You have a seat there, madam.

I point to the empty seat in front of me.

Elderly Lady: “No, I want this one!”

The kid stands up silently and the old lady literally pushes her to sit.

Mum: “Please, could you at least let my child move out of the way?”

Elderly Lady: “She should move faster!”

That makes me really mad.

Me: “You should be ashamed, madam. You know what you are? An old hag!

Elderly Lady: “…”

And you know what? She was getting off at the next stop one minute later!

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Fluffy’s More High-Maintenance Than Most Pets Of His Kind

, , , , , | Healthy | March 23, 2020

(I work at the front desk at an animal clinic that is located on a street with many assisted living facilities. Most of them are not pet-friendly — they may have an office cat but residents can’t have personal pets — except for the largest of them which is right next door and pet-friendly.

We have a deal with the management of this facility where, whenever a new resident moves in with an animal, we set them up as a patient with us, the facility handles all their billing, we send care instructions to them to make sure the residents don’t forget the doses, and when making appointments we contact both the owner and the facility so they can make sure the owner doesn’t have something else scheduled that day and doesn’t forget their appointment.

For the humans who think they are more self-sufficient than they really are, we make sure someone from the facility is available and needs to take “important paperwork” over to the clinic at the same time the owner needs to leave, to make sure they get there and back safely. Sometimes they slip through alone, though, or decide they have an appointment when we don’t have them on the books, so we are used to having random elderly people coming in.

A clearly distraught elderly woman carrying a small dog carrier comes in one day.)

Woman: “Please, you have to help me!”

Me: “What can we do?”

Woman: “It’s Fluffy! He’s not acting right and I think I need to put him to sleep.” *sobs*

Me: “Oh, dear, we’ll get you and Fluffy in to see the doctor and take a look at him to decide if that is the best thing to do, okay? Now, what is your name so I can pull your chart?”

Woman: “It’s [Name I don’t have in my system].”

Me: “I can’t find you on the computer; have you been in before?”

Woman: “Oh, no, Fluffy and I just moved into our new apartment today and you are so much closer than his old doctor.”

(I figure she is so new the facility hasn’t had time to bring us her paperwork, so I get Fluffy’s age and breed and go about making a chart. We’ll get the rest of her information from the facility when we contact them. Thankfully, we’ve had a cancelation so I can get her into an exam room right away.

A while later, she comes out of the exam room with the doctor, with one of our techs carrying the carrier for her, much happier than when she came in.)

Woman: “And you really think it will cure him, Doctor?”

Doc: “If it doesn’t, you just have your doorman give me a call and we’ll get you back in, no charge. Now, I’m going to have my son carry Fluffy home for you. You have a good day.”

(The doctor is referring to our tech who isn’t actually his son, but that’s the code we use to let the front desk know the resident is not paying us directly and to just smile and say goodbye rather than following the normal checkout process. As soon as she and the tech are out of the building I turn to the doctor.)

Me: “So, we’re charging an exam and what else?”

Doctor: “Nothing.”

Me: “So, just the exam?”

Doctor: “No, Fluffy isn’t real.”

Me: “What?!”

Doctor: “He’s a stuffed toy; he’s just been laying around all day for weeks now. So, I told her we were going to try an experimental treatment, and if it works, that’s great, and if not, she can bring him in to be put to sleep later. Then, I drew up some air from an empty vial and injected it. She said he already looks perkier. Poor thing; she is really far gone.”

(Tech returned almost an hour later. The woman wasn’t from the facility next door, or even the one on the other side of them. She was from the one almost all the way down the block, and they had to check into all of them because she couldn’t recall which apartment building she lived in.

To their staff’s credit, they thought she had gone to get lunch with her daughter and her daughter thought her mom was taking a nap after an exhausting morning of moving in. Nobody knew Fluffy had been feeling bad, or that he was capable of feeling bad.  

The experimental treatment worked great for a month, and then Fluffy relapsed and had to come in for another treatment. We gave him his shot once a month for three years, and then one day he just stopped coming in.

Six months later, the daughter brought him in; her mom had become too ill to take Fluffy for his shots so she had just taken him out of the building for a bit and then come back and told her mom he’d had his shot, and now her mom said she couldn’t take care of Fluffy anymore so could we find him a new home. We found him a nice place in the doctor’s office; he’s our supervisor.)


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Time To Throw Around Some Shade

, , , , , | Right | March 22, 2020

(I’m a customer in a popular chain drug store looking at their makeup section when [Old Lady #1] and [Old Lady #2] come looking for lipstick.)

Old Lady #1: “Do they have our lipstick shade here?”

Old Lady #2: “Oh, I hope they do.”

(They look in silence for about two minutes and [Old Lady #1] turns to me.)

Old Lady #1: “Excuse me, young lady? Could you help us find [Lipstick Brand] in [shade]?”

Me: “Oh, of course!”

(I scan the lipsticks and find the shade they need.)

Me: “Here it is! This is the one you needed, right?”

Old Lady #2: “No, no! That’s not it! We got it in a different packaging!”

(One of the employees walks up.)

Employee: “Excuse me, ladies, can I help you find anything?”

(Seeing as they’ve been helped, I slither away to another aisle. I come back when I hear some slight yelling.)

Old Lady #1: “No, you dumb twit! I told you that’s not the package our lipstick comes in!”

Employee: “As I’ve told you, multiple times, this is a new packaging but it’s the exact lipstick you’re looking for.”

Old Lady #2: “What don’t you understand? This is not our lipstick!”

(The employee, visibly irritated, pulls the lipstick out of the package and puts a swatch on her hand.)

Employee: “You see, ladies? This is the exact lipstick shade you needed. Is it not?”

(The two old ladies look rather embarrassed, take the lipstick, and scuttle off.)

Me: “Well, that was a handful.”

Employee: “Tell me about it.”

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