His Brain Needed More Fuel Than The Car Did

, , , , , | Legal | February 15, 2019

It was almost at the end of our shift when the dispatcher called out information that a driver had fuelled up his car at a petrol station, left the fuel nozzle on the ground — a clear indicator of a fuel thief — and driven off without paying.

Usually, fuel thieves use stolen license plates that frequently don’t even match the make of the car. Nevertheless, I ran the license plate. Surprisingly, everything matched. Even the registered owner’s address was nearby.

I told my partner the address, and although we both agreed that nobody would be stupid enough to go to their registered address after stealing in broad daylight, we still gave it a shot. When we were almost there, we saw the same car stopping in front of the house, with the owner in the driver’s seat. When he saw our police car, his eyes went wide and he froze. I could see that he honestly assumed that his plan of filling up and going home without an issue would be perfect.

We arrested him for theft, and he also had to pay for the fuel.

They Have No Time For Your Baggage

, , , , | Right | January 21, 2019

(We let customers use hand scanners for their shopping. You just grab a hand scanner at the entrance, scan the barcodes while you are shopping, and at the checkout you just have to swipe a store card and pay your bill. To prevent theft, the system randomly assigns some customers to the purchase check, where the store employee will scan ten random items in the basket. If something goes wrong, they have to scan all your items. This has happened to me twice.)

Check-Out Machine: “Purchase check; please wait until an employee comes over.”

(The employee starts scanning items, and the very first thing — a grocery bag — does not scan. I know it’s a problem with their scanner, because this has happened before.)

Employee: “Please come over.”

Me: *grins and goes over to the till with my 100+ items* “I hope you realise I did not come here to steal grocery bags?”

Employee: “Yeah, I know, but the system is set up that way.”

Me: “It’s not a problem; it’s just funny.”

Employee: “Everything checks out. Thank you and goodbye.”

Me: “Have a nice day.”

(The store gives a small candy bar to everyone who has to go through the purchase check. And it’s still lot faster than waiting in line for a human cashier.)

If Only There Was A Site Where You Could Review Bad Customers, Too…

, , , | Right | October 2, 2018

(I work at a hostel reception. We have two main sites for bookings: a main site, where bookings go through automatically, which we use for check-ins, and a secondary site, from which we have to manually enter the bookings to the main site. A lady checks into a mixed dormitory, then returns and starts yelling.)

Lady: “I have booked a bed in a female dorm, and you have put me in a mixed dorm.”

Me: “One moment, please; let me check.”

(I check and see that she has used our main site for bookings, and therefore booked the mixed dorm and not the female one. As I try to explain that to her, she cuts me off.)

Lady: “As an American, I am a customer, and I don’t care what you have to say. I will leave the worst review ever.”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “As you wish! But as I tried to explain before, we have not modified your booking, and you got the confirmation by email stating that it is, indeed, mixed dorm.”

Lady: *yelling* “I don’t care what you say! Do you understand that I will leave the worst review?”

Me: *calm* “Yes. If you want, I can give you a refund, and you can look for something else; however, it is Friday night, and pretty much everything nearby is fully booked. So, do you want the refund?”

Lady: “Well, I have to sleep somewhere!”

(Later, when I told my manager that story, he said I could have just kicked her out without a refund. My manager is awesome!)

Need To Turn It On? Copy That!

, , , | Working | March 21, 2018

(I work as a receptionist in a small company. Since the office space here is pretty small, the firms share some of the office equipment, including a copy machine that’s located right next to where I’m sitting. Each firm has their own code they need to input before they can start copying. It’s morning and I’m working away on my computer when I hear someone walking up to the copy machine. I ignore them, but then they start grunting aggressively, so I turn around and recognise one of the secretaries.)

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Secretary: “This machine isn’t working. The numbers aren’t showing up on the screen.”

Me: “Is it on? You’re the first to use it today.”

(She sheepishly looks at the side of the machine, face-palms, and presses the “ON” button. I turn back to my own work, but she speaks up again.)

Secretary: “It’s still not working. It shows dashes instead of numbers, and when I press the ‘start’ button, nothing happens.”

(I get up to look at the machine myself and immediately see what’s going on.)

Me: “You just forgot to use your code first.”

(Since I know all of the codes for work-related reasons, I quickly insert her firm’s.)

Me: “Here. Now you can use it.”

Secretary: “Oh, the numbers are back!”

(She then proceeds to put in the code I just inserted, and I barely manage to stop her from pressing “start.”)

Me: “Whoa, wait! I already unlocked it. You just nearly made over 700 copies.”

(She literally jumps back from the machine, then she hides her face in her hands, groaning.)

Secretary: “I shouldn’t have skipped my morning coffee.”

(We eventually managed to get the copies she needed. And after she got a late cup of coffee, her work quality increased drastically.)

Someone Has To Be The Responsible Party

, , , | Right | December 31, 2017

(This happens on New Year’s Eve. We open the club about ten minutes after the fireworks and soon a girl approaches me.)

Customer: “Why are you working today?”

Me: “Because you want to party?”

(She looked really confused as to how this made any sense but left soon, leaving my coworkers and me confused as to why else we would be working.)

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