Measuring The Time

, , , , | Right | October 9, 2017

(I usually work in the factory, but on this day I am replacing our sales person who is sick, when a customer comes in.)

Customer: “I need someone to come to my house and take the measures for the windows I want to order, but they can only come after four in the evening because I am at work until then.”

(I set it all up and tell her our technician will call her and come by next day after four. The next day, the lady returns.)

Customer: “What kind of a business is this?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You said someone would come to my house and take the measurements. Why hasn’t anyone come?”

Me: “Didn’t you say that we can’t reach you before four o’clock?”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s half past two.”

Customer: “Well, I got off early.”

Queen Liver-beth

, , , | Related | September 23, 2017

(This entire conversation, except for one word, takes place in Estonian. My father’s English isn’t very good, but he does know a lot of words.)

Father: “What was the name of the new British prince again?”

Me: “George.”

Father: “Jaws? That’s an odd name for a kid. Wait, is the entire British royalty named after body parts?”

You’re Barking Mad

, , , | Friendly | August 29, 2017

(I’m hanging out at the park with my friends, when a man walks his dog past us.)

Friend #1: *shrieking at the top of her lungs* “DOG!”

(This causes everyone, including the dog, to jump.)

Friend #2: *after a beat* “What the h*** was that?”

Friend #1: *suddenly in tears* “You don’t understand; it’s so adorable!”

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