(I’m working on the counter on a fairly busy evening, and am serving a couple of men who are very friendly. The transaction goes normally until the end, when one of the customers stares intently at my name badge.)

Customer: “Who couldn’t spell your name?”

Me: *confused* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: *looks at feedback card with my name on it, and looks at my name badge again* “Who couldn’t spell your name?”

Me: “Nobody? That is my name.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Kirsty. That’s my name.”

Customer: *tries repeating my name but totally botches it* “What? I can’t…”

Me: “Kirsty. As in, ‘rhymes with thirsty.’”

Customer: “Kir-sty… Hmm. Weird.” *walks away*

(I’ve never known anyone to be so flummoxed by my name, and usually, if anyone has been slightly confused by my name, it’s been people from other countries.)

This story is part of the Struggles With Names roundup!

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(I’m a cashier at a small toy store. It’s a quiet day and we haven’t had many customers. A father and son come up with a few different puzzles and a Princess Luna toy. I offer the usual polite greetings and smile honestly.)

Me: “Oh, a puzzle. You must be a very smart boy.”

Little Boy: “Yes, I am!”

Me: “Is the pony also for you?”

(The little boy becomes rather sad and breaks eye contact. The father has a worried look on his face. I take out my keys and Pinkie Pie keychain I got as a birthday present.)

Me: “Pinkie Pie is my favorite because she makes me smile. Who’s your favorite?”

Little Boy: *happy again* “Princess Luna, she protects others from nightmares.”

(I finish ringing up their purchase and they leave. A few days later the father returns.)

Father: “Hi, I was here a few days ago with my son.”

Me: “Little boy with the My Little Pony toy? Yes, I remember. What can I do for you?”

Father: “My son was sad because some school bullies tore apart his MLP notebook, so I brought him here to cheer him up. He doesn’t tell strangers he like Ponies, but you were so nice to him, he was back to his old self.”

Me: “Glad I could help, but honestly I don’t see the problem with boys liking toys targeted at a young female demographic. I personally enjoyed Transformers when I was his age, and still do.”

(The kid and his parents come often to say hi, and I later found out they live in the building across from mine, so I’m almost always their go-to babysitter.)

(I go with a friend of mine into a tech store. The friend is there to pick up some hardware that has been repaired, and is looking to buy around £50,000 worth of hardware for their office. I have both epilepsy and Asperger’s. I get very dizzy all of a sudden and fall against a wall near some display models. I don’t touch them, but the staff member dealing with my friend gets irate about this for no reason.)

Employee: “Watch it, stupid!”

Friend: “He’s epileptic; he just lost his balance, and he didn’t damage anything.”

Employee: “People like that should be with a carer, then, and not damaging our goods because they’re too stupid to know better.”

(At this point, I start to cry because of the anger that’s been direct to towards me, as sometimes happens because of my Asperger’s.)

Employee: “What is he, f****** r*****ed or something?”

Friend: “He’s actually a college graduate and business owner, as am I; he’s probably a lot smarter than you. Sure as heck, he’s got better manners than you.”

Employee: *calling his boss over* “This customer is verbally abusing me because his s*****c friend was damaging our equipment and I kindly asked them to stop.”

Manager: “I want both of you out of here now; if your friend is disabled, you shouldn’t bring him into places like this.”

Friend: “Okay, then. Cancel my order I placed when I booked my repairs in.”

(As my friend helps me up off the floor and calms me down, the manager pulls up the order and sees it to be in the excess of £50,000.)

Manager: “I’m afraid you’ll have to pay for this order because it’s already placed.”

Friend: “No, I won’t; in fact, I’ll be informing my bank of this transaction in case you try anything.”

Manager: “No, because your stupid friend will probably damage it, and you’ll try to return it like they did with your other laptop.”

(Mall security turns up and the manager talks to them and makes up a ton of lies about what’s happened.)

Security #1: “Sir, we’d like to get your side of things, too, and we would like to call your friend some medical attention as they’re obviously distressed by something, but can we do so outside of the store?”

(We leave and security escorts us to a small side office where one radios in mall medical staff and the other talks to us both, getting our side of the story.)

Security #1: “We’re inclined to believe you, having looked at the security footage. I’m also aware of one of the staff members calling a person who was a veteran in a wheelchair a cabbage. We even filed a complaint with their head office, but they seemed to back up the actions of the staff members and justified how they act. It seems even their executives support disability discrimination.”

Security #2: “It’s probably best that you don’t go back to the store, but I’ve called our medical staff and they’re waiting outside. And someone in the pizzeria who they’re friends with has some drinks and a pizza for you both to help you calm down.”

This story is part of our Epilepsy roundup.

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(I love Pokémon. A popular fast food chain has just started giving away Pokémon toys with their kids meals — it is possible to buy the toys separately, though not many people seem to know this — and I am on a mission to collect them all. I have seen the official staff document stating that four designs are being released each week for four weeks, and I have timed my visit so that I can purchase the designs from week two, having purchased week one’s designs a few days previously. I walk up to the counter where a manager is currently serving.)

Manager: “Hi, what can I get you?”

Me: “Hi, do you know if you have the week-two Pokémon toys in yet?”

Manager: “I’m not sure; let me check. Do you know which ones they are?”

Me: “Well, yes, but unless you know they’re names and what they look like, it may just be easier to bring them to me.”

Manager: “Oh, yeah, I haven’t got a clue about that kind of stuff.”

(The manager sends a younger colleague off to check the toys. She returns with all four designs from week one.)

Me: “Oh, sorry, these are last week’s designs. I already have these. Did you not get the new ones in?”

Manager: “[Colleague], go and see what’s in the box out back.”

(The young colleague disappears out to the back of the restaurant. I move aside to let the manager serve the line that’s formed behind me. The colleague returns about a minute later with all four of the week two designs.)

Colleague: “I found these. Are they the right ones?”

Me: “Yes, that’s perfect. Can I please have a kids meal and purchase the other three designs on their own?”

Colleague: “Sure, which three designs would you like?”

Me: “…”

Colleague: “…?”

Me: “I get a toy with the kid’s meal, so I get all four designs, right?”

Colleague: “Huh? Oh, yeah…”

(She picks up the toys and turns to put all four in a meal box. Then, she stops, turns back, and stands there holding the toys for a few seconds, looking very confused.)

Colleague: “Here. I guess I’ll just give these to you.”

Me: “Thanks?”

(The young colleague completes my order and hands me my receipt with my order number on it. The manager on the next till has finished serving and turns to me.)

Manager: “Pikachu! That’s the yellow guy, right?”

(A customer and his wife come to the bar.)

Me: “Hi! What can I get you today?”

Customer: “A diet [soda] and, uh… Do you do coffee?”

Me: “Yup, of course! What can I get you?”

Customer: “Can you do a latte?”

Me: “Sure, no worries!”

Customer: “No, no, a proper latte.”

Me: “Uh, a latte, yeah.”

Customer: “No, a proper latte.”

Me: “Uh… What’s an improper latte?”

(His wife is giggling away to herself, and he and I are staring at one another totally blankly.)

Me: “Okay… I’ll just make your latte for you, sir.”

Me: *bringing over the drinks* “Is that latte… um… proper enough for you, sir?”

(His wife is totally cracking up.)

Customer: “Uh. Yes.”

(They were perfectly pleasant, but to this day I’ve no idea what he might have thought I’d have accidentally given him instead of his “proper” latte.)