(I’m at work, on the phone with a courier to determine the status of an international shipment.)

Me: “I’m calling about the status of a shipment.”

Courier: “Okay… okay… Tracking number?”

Me: *provides number*

Courier: “Okay… okay… okay… International shipment.”

Me: “Yes.” *thinking to myself that I called the international support number*

Courier: “Okay… okay… okay… It’s getting there by air… on a plane.”

Me: “That would be correct.”

(He kept saying, “Okay,” over and over again for another minute or two. At that point, I couldn’t take it anymore and just told him to forget it. I waited a minute, called back, and got someone who didn’t have to tell me that my air freight shipment is getting there by airplane.)

(I’m the idiot here. I ask a coworker for clarification about a note he’s written.)

Me: “See, right here by your signature, it says, ‘Xzziz.’ What’s all that about?”

Coworker: “That’s, ‘Extension 2212.’”

(I work in a major retail chain. One night, we get an unusual truck delivery. Our manager is waiting by the dock with us as we get ready to unload it.)

Manager: *sigh* “All right, everyone. This is going to seem crazy, but I’ve confirmed with the home office that the delivery inside is definitely intended to be ours just the way it is, so just go with it.”

Coworker: “Wait. What the heck is inside?”

Manager: “You’ll see.”

(Shortly after, the truck driver opens the door to reveal an absolutely absurd amount of tangerines. My coworkers and I alternate between staring at the tangerines in amazement and each other in shock and confusion.)

Coworker: “There’s no way this is right. I get that we’re a busy supercenter and all, but there’s no way even we can sell all these oranges before a whole bunch goes bad.”

Manager: “Yep, that’s how I feel, but apparently someone higher up than me disagrees.”

Me: *as I’m sliding my pallet jack under the first pallet* “What reason could there possibly be to make this seem like a good idea?”

Driver: “You want to know what these oranges are for? This is all about that Obamacare!”

(Suddenly, everyone stops what they’re doing to process what the driver has said.)

Manager: “What… What does that have to do with oranges? No, actually, what does that have to do with anything right now?”

Driver: “That’s Obamacare for you; it doesn’t make any sense!”

(We quickly gave up trying to figure out what the driver was talking about. For the next week, all our nightly meetings included a manager urging us all to get a bag of tangerines on the way home. Once the story of the delivery had spread, we would all say goodbye to each other with, “Don’t forget your Obamacare oranges!”)

Related:
Obama Drama, Part 5
Obama Drama, Part 4
Obama Drama, Part 3

(I’m returning to a donut shop that got my order wrong after I ordered food and a non-coffee drink. Mind you, this is not a coffee shop, but a true donut shop.)

Me: “Hi. I just got a frozen hot chocolate and it had coffee in it. I had said no coffee.”

Worker #1: “What do you mean? You asked for a frozen mocha. We swirl mocha into it to make it sweet.”

Me: “I specifically asked for no coffee. I hate coffee, I despise it, and I would never order something with coffee in it.”

Worker #1: “[Worker #2], we need a frozen mocha!”

Me: “FROZEN HOT CHOCOLATE! NO COFFEE!”

Worker #1: “But then it won’t be as sweet.”

Me: “I don’t care. I’ve had this dozens of times, and I like it as it is without the coffee.”

(It took another two minutes, but I finally got my frozen hot chocolate, free of coffee. I can accept mistakes, but he was seriously fighting with me over what I wanted versus what he thought I wanted.)

Barista: “Okay, and which size would you like?”

Me: “Uh… the larger one, please.”

Barista: “Ugh, we don’t have a larger one, we only have small and medium. Why can’t anyone understand that?!”

Me: “…”