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The Donut Roller Coaster

, , , , , , , | Working | January 23, 2023

About a month ago, a favorite chain donut shop opened near me. There used to be several years ago, but they all closed. I went there a couple of times both before and after their grand opening.

I had a good coupon for a cream cheese bagel. It was good enough that today I decided on a repeat. However, it wasn’t morning; it was mid-afternoon. A couple of cars were out front, and several cars out back obviously belonged to staff, so I figured they weren’t going to be too busy. I should be able to get through the drive-thru in two or three minutes.

I pulled up. There was silence from the speaker for a minute. Then…

Speaker: “We’ll be with you in a few moments.”

I was in no hurry, so sure. About two minutes later:

Speaker: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Me: “I’d like an everything bagel with cream cheese and a medium coffee.”

Speaker: “We have bagel bites.”

Me: “I don’t want bagel bites. I’d like a standard everything bagel with cream cheese.”

Speaker: *After a long pause* “We’re out of everything bagels.”

Me: “That’s fine. Let me have a plain bagel with cream cheese. Oh! And do you have any chocolate-cream-filled donuts?”

Speaker: “Yes, we do.”

Me: “Add one of those to the order.”

I had been eating healthy for a while; I figured a rare donut as a treat would be fine.

Speaker: “Please pay at the first window.”

I pulled ahead and confirmed my order with the cashier, paid, and pulled ahead to the second window. I worked on a puzzle on my phone and listened to music. I was near the end of the third song — so I’d been waiting for nearly ten minutes — and I was hoping maybe the delay was that they had to brew the coffee fresh.

I was about to try getting someone’s attention when the window opened.

Employee: “Here you are.”

He handed me a small package. By feel, I could tell it was a bagel. 

Me: “Where’s the rest?”

Employee: “The rest?”

Me: “Yeah, I ordered coffee and a donut, as well.”

Employee: “Hang on.”

He disappeared and I unwrapped the bagel. At first, I just saw a bagel — no cream cheese. I opened it and it seemed to have been lightly brushed by something. It could’ve been butter or it could’ve been cream cheese, but it was essentially a plain bagel.

The window opened again. The cashier was helping out.

Cashier: “Here’s your coffee. We’re out of chocolate-cream-filled donuts, but I picked out these chocolate donuts.”

He handed me the coffee and a box with a half-dozen plain donuts that were chocolate frosted and a couple with sprinkles. I was dumbfounded.

Me: “Well, do you have vanilla cream?”

Cashier: “Yes, we have those.”

Me: “That’s fine, too. It doesn’t have to be chocolate.”

I started to hand back the box.

Cashier: “That’s okay. Keep those.”

Me: “Okay, but one other thing: the bagel only has a tiny hint of cream cheese. The last time I was here, there was an actual layer of cream cheese.”

Cashier: “We have containers of cream cheese we put on the bagels, and we’re only supposed to use one, but I can get you another container of cream cheese.”

I was suspecting a lie of some kind unless the container held a mere half-teaspoon of cream cheese. There wasn’t much more to the conversation. He returned with the cream cheese and not one but two vanilla-cream-filled donuts. I appreciated the kindness to fix up my order, but how do you screw it up so badly in the first place? Besides, I wasn’t going to eat all those donuts. I guess I’ll bring them to the office tomorrow for everyone else.

Thirty-One Reasons To Burn Your Bridges

, , , , , | Working | November 7, 2022

When I was sixteen, I worked for a combination donut store/ice cream shop known for its trademarked thirty-one flavors.

The owner hired a convicted arsonist to be the nighttime baker. Fine. But that arsonist continually made lewd and inappropriate suggestions to the female staff regardless of age.

The boss was known to storm into the building and yell at the nearest female to make him a sandwich. Even though I was sixteen, I was often the oldest person in the shop.

Once, some bees swarmed around our air conditioning unit. Smelling the sugar, they came down into the kitchen. They were everywhere. I called the boss to let him know, and he berated me.

Boss: “You’re just being lazy! Someone must have left the back door open again!”

This was before camera phones. The glaze vat was literally full of bees.

Another time, the floor-to-roof windows in the “sunroom” started leaking during some heavy rain. Again, I called the boss. Again, I was called lazy, and again, he did nothing.

He was a jerk, and when I left, I gave him thirty-one reasons why I quit posted to his office door.

Should’ve Stuck With Donuts

, , , | Right | May 12, 2022

I worked at a donut shop on midnight shifts. One night, I had a drunk couple come in. They both ordered chili and went to sit in the corner. About ten minutes later, the man came up to the counter.

Man: “My wife is sick.”

I walked over to the table and the woman was sitting there with this stupid grin on her face. She had thrown up her chili and it was all over her, the table, and the floor.

I went and grabbed a roll of paper towels, handed it to the man, and told him:

Me: “She’s your wife; you clean it up.”

That was hands down one of the most disgusting nights of my life.

Hashing Out The Hash Brown Issue

, , , , , , | Working | May 10, 2022

My car is out of commission, so I decide to order enough food from a nearby donut shop/breakfast place to last me through the weekend. My order is one latte, three bagel sandwiches, four donuts, and six orders of hash browns. Their hash browns are little medallions, so a single order of hash browns consists of a little paper baggie of five or six pieces each.

I decide to order on the mobile app as it’s a large order. About fifteen minutes after making the order, I arrive at the shop. There are only two workers: one making food and the other running the drive-thru, manning the cash register, and making drinks. My latte and donuts are ready in the pickup area with my receipt and name next to them. Everything listed on the receipt is correct, so I grab the finished items and sit at a table to wait for the rest of my order to get done.

Ten minutes pass and there is no sign of progress on my order, so I walk up to the counter. I was under the impression they were working on the rest of my order since someone obviously finished about a quarter of it, but boy, was I wrong.

Worker #1: “Are you waiting for something, ma’am?”

Me: *Confused* “Yes, I’m waiting for the rest of my order. I only got the latte and donuts.” 

I show my receipt.

Worker #1: “Sorry, I’ll get right on that.”

Another ten minutes pass as I idle by on my phone. [Worker #1] comes up to me with a bag. From the look and weight of it, I’m certain it’s not my whole order. Sure enough, when I open it, there are only two bagel sandwiches and just one baggie of hash browns. I go back up to the counter again.

Me: “Hi, sorry, my order still isn’t done.”

Worker #1: “What’s missing?”

Me: “There’s a bagel sandwich missing, and this bag only has one of the hash browns. I ordered six.”

Again, I motion toward the receipt, which correctly lists everything in my order. [Worker #1] looks as annoyed as I’m starting to feel.

Worker #1: “Sorry, I’ll fix that.”

I wait another ten minutes. If you’re keeping track, it has been forty-five minutes since I made the order on the app and thirty minutes since I showed up in the shop. The other worker, who has been busy with other duties, comes up to me.

Worker #2: “Sorry, ma’am. I’m making your bagel sandwich now. Would you like something as compensation for the wait? More donuts or hash browns?”

Me: *Like a fool* “More hash browns would be nice, I guess.”

Worker #2: “Got it!”

Five more minutes pass, and [Worker #2] hands me another bag. It has the third bagel sandwich and two more baggies of hash brown medallions, which are the “compensation.” I am still missing the complete six orders of hash browns I ordered from the very beginning. At this point, I think the universe is punishing me for wanting to eat unhealthy food from a donut shop. It’s a sign, but I’m in too deep; it’s been fifty minutes!

Me: *Finally losing my patience* “I’m sorry, my order is still wrong.”

Worker #1: *Angry* “What’s wrong with it?”

Me: “I’m still missing five hash browns.”

Worker #1: *Defensive* “I already gave you that!”

Me: “No, you didn’t.”

Worker #1: “Show me your food!”

I’m floored. I have been in sight of the counter sitting at a table the entire time on my phone and haven’t touched the food, nor do I have any place to put it. I start taking out the items from the order and passive-aggressively counting the contents as I pull them out of the bags.

Worker 1: “Give me the bags!”

Fed up, I hand them to her. At this point, [Worker #2] comes over and starts counting the baggies of hash browns.

Worker #2: “Ma’am, there are three orders of hash browns here.”

Me: “That’s not all of the hash browns. I only got one from my original order. There’s supposed to be six.”

Worker #1: “I gave you six!”

I stare at her. It finally dawns on me: she literally put six medallion PIECES of hash browns in the first baggie she gave me and didn’t realize I wanted six ORDERS of hash browns.

Worker #2: “Ma’am, we’re going to have you charge you for those if you want extra.”

Flabbergasted, I pull up the receipt of the order on the shop’s mobile app and hold it up, barely keeping myself from shoving it in her face.

Me: “I wanted six orders of hash browns. I only got one.”

From the food now spread out on the counter, it is now obvious what has happened.

Worker #2: *Long pause* “Sorry, ma’am. [Worker #1] didn’t tell me that. I’ll start on them right away.”

[Worker #1] has gone silent. I don’t even look in her direction anymore.

Five more minutes later, [Worker #2] gives me four more baggies of hash browns. I sigh, but I’ll take it.

Worker #2: “I’m really sorry, ma’am. She really did mess that up.”

I murmured a half-hearted thanks and finally got out of there almost a whole hour after I’d ordered the food. When I get home, I gorged myself on the hash browns and donuts. Was it worth the hassle? Debatable, but d*** if those things weren’t delicious.

Bet You Dollars To Donuts You’re Not The First To Quit

, , , | Working | December 9, 2021

I have a cleaning job, but it’s only part-time, so I figure I’ll take a second job. I apply at a well-known donut shop as a decorator and get the job. My job is to take the donuts after they’re fried and make them look pretty with icing, so I do. All of a sudden, my manager starts freaking out.

Manager: “This lady is mad because her order wasn’t ready! Why isn’t it ready?”

Me: “Did she order the specialty? They use cake and there weren’t any, so—”

Manager: “No! You were going too slow!”

Me: “But there aren’t any cake donuts made. How was I to make it with no donuts?”

Manager: “But she was mad!

No matter how I tried to reason with her, she kept blaming me for being too slow. Then, she admitted that she was bad with timing. Nooo, really? I decided to quit. Sadly, this isn’t the first time a donut shop had a weirdo for management. I guess they attract crazies. I decide to stick with cleaning. Personally, I’d rather clean a dirty toilet than be unfairly treated.