(I’m a cashier at a store. We’re encouraged to ask customers if they want a bag when buying only one or two items. A male customer is purchasing a single snack for himself.)
Me: “Would you like your nuts in a sack, or would you prefer to hold them?”
Customer: “…”
(I go online to make my cell phone payment. When I go to submit the payment, it takes way too long to process, but it shows the payment made. The next day I check my bank statement to reconcile my checkbook and see that the cell phone company processed my payment SIX TIMES. Thankfully, none other of my automatic payments have gone through yet, or it would have sent my account into the negative by several hundreds of dollars. I immediately call the cell phone customer service line, and after forty-five minutes on hold, I finally get someone and explain the situation.)
Rep: “Okay, yes, I do see where that happened. There must have been a glitch in the system. I will submit this to the department that handles this and they will refund the money.”
Me: “Great. How long will that take? I have bills that will be coming through.”
Rep: “It will take about six to nine weeks. Then they—“
Me: “WHAT?! No, I can’t wait that long. I have to have that money back now.”
Rep: “Well, I am sorry, sir. It will take six to nine weeks.”
Me: “No, that is not acceptable. Get me a supervisor, now. Please.”
Rep: “They will just tell you the same thing. You will be on hold for a while. You will get your money back; it will just take some time. You need to be patient.”
Me: “Listen. I am glad you have over $500 extra lying around. I don’t. I have to have that to pay bills. I can’t wait over a month for it.”
Rep: “Could you borrow it from a friend?”
Me: *stunned* “Get me a supervisor, now.”
(I wait another hour. Finally, I get one and explain to them that their online payment messed up.)
Supervisor: “It takes the department that handles this six to nine weeks to do all the research and make sure that your complaint is valid. But I am looking at this, and I don’t see it as a problem. I know it’s terribly inconvenient, sir, but please be patient.”
Me: “No, it is more than inconvenient. The bill was for $100. You took out $600. Now, my bank account will bounce and my bills will go unpaid because, unlike you, apparently, I don’t have that kind of money lying around so I don’t have to worry and be patient. I will come after your company for all of the bounced check fees, plus I will come after you for all the fees I will have to pay to reconnect my electric and water because I do not have the money to pay the bills now. Or, I can just call my bank and report the charges as fraudulent. Your choice.”
(I think the severity of my situation finally dawns on him.)
Supervisor: “Oh, I didn’t understand that. I thought it was just a double payment. I didn’t see where it was six times. Crap. Okay, I have to put you on hold for a minute.”
(After another thirty minutes.)
Supervisor: “Okay, sir, I am sorry for the hold. I took a chance and called our main office; surprisingly, someone was there. We are working on fixing this now.”
Me: “Forgive me for asking, but why would it be surprising? It’s 10:00 am.”
Supervisor: “Oh, our main calling center is in Florida.” *there is a major hurricane roaring through the state* “And all of the service rep calls have been forwarded to this office. The truth of the matter is…”
Me: “None of you are trained or have the authority to fix any problems.”
Supervisor: “You got it.”
Me: “I bet you are getting some mad customers.”
Supervisor: “You don’t know the half of it. But honestly, yours is the only problem that has come through that really could not have waited until next week when they think the call center will be back up and running.”
(He gave me his direct line and told me to call him back if the money wasn’t back by the next morning and if anything bounced. I checked that evening and everything was returned. I understand a company having issues due to a natural disaster, but what good does it do sending your customers to reps that aren’t trained to fix problems?)
(I work in a back office and process customer requests that our salespeople send. We are rolling out electronic systems soon, but we are very paper-based at this point. Today, I receive a request with special approval attached; a couple of email chains were printed in landscape orientation, one of which was at least seven pages. As I need to email finance, I email the woman who sent it and ask her to forward me the electronic copies.)
Sales: *via email* “I already printed the emails and attached them to the request.”
Me: *via email* “Yes, I received the paper copies. Please forward me the electronic copies so I can email them to finance.”
(She calls two minutes later and goes on, obviously upset at my request. Some samples of the conversation:)
Sales: *as part of a thirty-second rant* “I have all this other work to do and I don’t have time to look for that email.”
Me: “It usually takes me only a minute to search for an email if I type the subject in the search box. This seemed like a simple request to me, and I apologize if this is not the case.”
Sales: “This doubles my work!”
Me: “I acknowledge that you are busy. Since I can only scan the emails, what would that do to my workload? I also have other customers to serve.”
Sales: “Why can’t you just scan them?”
Me: “I am concerned that since they are printed in landscape, it will be harder for finance to follow along. I am trying to make their job as easy as I can.”
Sales: “They’ll just have to print it, too, and it will be in landscape! I’ll look for the emails, but I will have to forward you two emails, and finance will get two emails.”
Me: “I can attach those emails to my email to finance so that they will only receive one email.”
(She replied to my email with the two other emails I had requested attached within a couple of minutes of the phone conversation ending. She’d spent ten minutes complaining about it before that. She’ll probably be one of those people who prints and scans everything in the new system, too!)
(An employee walks up to the boss’s office, looks at the door for a few moments, and then walks over to the secretary.)
Employee: “Is the boss in?”
Secretary: “I think so. Didn’t you see him in there?”
Employee: *glancing around the corner and looking at the door again* “Well, his door is closed.”
Secretary: “Could you see him through the window?”
Employee: “I don’t know; the door is closed.”
(The secretary gets up, walks to where the employee is standing, and points through the large window in the door. You can see the boss from where they are standing, and he is sitting at the conference table with a few other people.)
Secretary: “Yes, see? The boss is in, but he is in a meeting right now.”
(The employee thanks her and leaves. I come out of my office.)
Secretary: *to me* “Did I really just have to explain windows to her?”
(As huge fans of baseball, my girlfriend and I have a tradition of taking a one week trip to go see a few games that aren’t in Boston, as well as take in the local sights. Naturally, this means we get a hotel room. During one of our trips, we go to an aquarium for on the third day of our trip and come back to find a few things off base in our room. After confirming we’ve found every anomaly, I choose to march down to the front desk and speak to the clerk directly, my phone in hand to record the interaction, while my girlfriend stays in the room taking care of a related matter. When I get down to the lobby and get to the front:)
Me: *holds up phone* “I’d like to record this interaction. Do you mind?”
Clerk: “Go right ahead.”
Me: “Perfect. Now then, I’m staying in room [number]; under [My Name]. When we returned to our room today, we noticed our hand soap was missing. By itself, not a problem. However, the housekeeping also took the bar that was placed in the room yesterday, and didn’t add a new one.”
Clerk: “I’m sorry. We ca—“
Me: “I’m not done yet. We also had replacement shampoo, conditioner, and shower soap from yesterday that we hadn’t touched and leftovers from when we checked in. All of those are now missing, too.”
Clerk: “Sir, I am—“
Me: “Still not finished. We also had, both on check-in and after service yesterday, three towels, a bath mat, and two rolls of toilet paper. We now have one normal towel, one ratty towel — which I’m pretty sure hasn’t been washed — sitting in place of the bath mat, and no toilet paper.”
Clerk: “Well… I don’t know what to say about that.”
Me: “For starters, you can replace all of the amenities housekeeping decided we didn’t need. One towel, one bath mat, two rolls of toilet paper, soap, shampoo, and conditioner.”
Clerk: “Done.” *begins typing on the computer*
Me: “You can also give me the name of the person who serviced my room, so I know who to complain about when I call corporate.”
Clerk: “I’m sorry, Mr. [My Name], we can’t give you that. We can assure you that disciplinary actions will be taken and that this employee will not be in your room again, but for the safety of our staff we can’t divulge full names, addresses, or personal information to anyone but the police.”
Me: “Fair enough; I half-expected as much. However, you should look up that information now.” *holds up my hand to silence him* “Your policy says the police can be informed — your words. Well, the final complaint is that I kept my suitcase in the closet. And in the suitcase, I had this.” *puts a pill bottle and an envelope on the counter* “Can you read what’s on the bottle’s label?”
Clerk: “Oxycodone.”
Me: “Correct. This bottle had five pills left in it when I left this morning. You’ll notice it’s now empty. Want to guess where they went?”
Clerk: “…”
Me: “I’ll save you some trouble with the envelope. It’s a thank-you from [Baseball Team]’s ticket office for my purchase of four tickets to two games. However, there are no tickets inside. Those, too, are missing. While I’ve been down here chatting with you, my girlfriend has been on the phone with the police to report this. So, I suggest you save yourself some time and pull up your employee’s name, so you have it ready when they arrive.”
(Two officers arrived moments later. The thieving housekeeper had already clocked out for the day, so we settled on taking statements and letting them examine the room. They had intended to arrest her after she clocked in for her next shift, but apparently, someone working in the hotel was so furious with her she was reported to ICE so they got her first. I never got my painkillers back. However, my stay was complimentary, and the clerk I spoke to called the ballpark and replaced my tickets — and yes, I confirmed they were different seats.)
