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They Put More Than A Few Feet Wrong

, , , , , | Right | November 8, 2017

(I am in a department store, and I overhear this discussion between two twenty-somethings.)

Customer #1: “How big did you say the room is?”

Customer #2: “Ten feet by ten feet.”

Customer #1: “Okay! These boxes have ten square feet in them, so we can do the whole room with one box!”


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Saved By Play Time

, , , , , | Hopeless | October 22, 2017

(I am shopping in a department store with my five-year-old daughter. It has been a long, stressful day at work, and I have been on edge since picking her up from school. I just want to get my things and get home as soon as possible. I very quickly realize that my daughter is no longer beside me, and I go into Panic-Mom Mode. I call her name and rush around the aisles, until, finally, I see her sitting down on the floor next to a similar-aged boy, talking and playing. She looks up and me and beams a smile.)

Me: “[Daughter], what did I tell you about walking away from Mommy?!”

Daughter: “Mommy, this is [Boy]. He’s five, too!”

Me: “That’s nice, [Daughter], but remember, we don’t have time to play today.”

Daughter: “Okay. Bye, [Boy]!”

Boy: *big flashing smile* “Byyyyye!”

(I take my daughter’s hand and quickly finish up my shopping list.)

Daughter: “Can we get something for [Boy]?”

Me: “No, [Daughter]. We’re just here for a few quick things, remember?”

Daughter: “I know, but he doesn’t have anyone or anything to play with.”

Me: “His mom will take him home soon, so he won’t be bored for too long.”

Daughter: “No, she won’t.”

(This makes me stop, and I realize for the first time, to my shame, that the boy was all alone.)

Me: “What do you mean?”

Daughter: “His mom told him to wait for her, but she’s been gone for aaaaaages.”

(Knowing I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t go back and check, I find the boy in the exact same space that I left him.)

Me: “Hello, [Boy].”

Boy: *big beaming smile again* “Hiiiii!”

Me: “Where’s your mommy?”

Boy: *smile drops* “I don’t know. She went to look at clothes.”

Me: “How long ago did she go to look at clothes?”

Boy: “A while.”

(Knowing he probably didn’t have a good grasp of timing, I don’t know how to gauge this, but I pursue anyway.)

Me: “Do you know what time it was?”

Boy: “Since school.”

(That is a long time, but it wouldn’t be the first time a parent has left a child alone to play in a store for over an hour. I sit with the boy for another ten minutes while he plays a rhyming game with my daughter. I flag down a passing member of staff and let them know this boy has been left alone for almost an hour and a half.)

Employee: “Actually, yes, I do remember them coming in. That was closer to two hours ago.” *suddenly looking shameful* “Let’s bring him up to the customer service desk, and I’ll make an announcement through the store PA.”

(We do just that. The boy says he was told not to go anywhere with strangers, but my daughter takes his hand and convinces him that they’re now friends, so it is okay. The employee makes an announcement to the store, letting the mother know that [Boy] is at the customer service desk, and asking her to please make her way there immediately. After ten minutes, and no appearance of the mother, the employee makes a repeat announcement. Ten minutes after this…)

Me: “What happens now?”

Employee: “I’ve called my manager. They’ll call the police or social services, I guess.”

(A few minutes later, there is a scream from the other side of the floor. There is a scramble of employees to the area. An employee comes back over to me and speaks quietly to me so that the boy doesn’t hear.)

Employee: “We found a woman collapsed in one of the changing rooms. We think it might be his mom.”

(Very quickly, paramedics are on the scene, but I am focusing on keeping the boy occupied, playing with my daughter. He’s not stupid though, and he’s realizing that something is up. Almost three hours after I first met the boy, a woman walks over to us with a concerned look on her face. The manager has told her who I am and how I’ve been looking after the boy. She introduces herself as being from social services.)

Social Services Worker: “We found his mother collapsed in the changing room. The paramedics are about to take her to hospital, and I will be going there, too, with her son.”

(She then explains to the boy what has happened, in an age-appropriate manner. The boy is very upset, and holds my hand through the whole conversation. When the social services worker tries to encourage the boy to go to the hospital, he squeezes my hand even tighter and gives me a desperate look.)

Me: *to the social services worker* “Would I be able to come with [Boy]””

(The woman looks at me, then at the boy, assesses the situation, and smiles.)

Social Services Worker: “Of course. I will need to be present at all times, of course.”

(We all drove to the hospital together, and my daughter kept the boy occupied with some simple back-seat car games. We ended up spending the evening in the hospital, and the boy’s mother made a full recovery. She had been running a fever and collapsed from an infection. Our kids are now good friends and have grown up to become teenage “besties,” all thanks to my daughter’s playful spirit, and a well-behaved boy who wouldn’t stop waiting for his mom.)

Bird Of (Written) Passage

, , , , | Right | October 17, 2017

(I work at a large department store for a summer job. One day I’m in the pet section when a elderly man in a scooter comes up to me.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

(The man holds up a bag of birdseed and makes some strange sounds that sound distressed.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t understand. Are you asking me about the bag?”

(The man makes a few more sounds I can’t understand and hands me the bag.)

Me: “Is there something wrong with the bag?”

(More noises from the man. I look over the bag and find nothing wrong with it.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I don’t understand what you want from me.”

(The man takes out a pad of paper and starts writing. He holds out the pad and it reads, “birdseed.”)

Me: *now a little distressed* “Yes, this is birdseed, but I don’t understand what you’re asking me.”

(The man continues to make noises and write things down on his note pad. I’m still very lost about what he wants from me. Several scribbled notes later, I decide that he’s asking me where the birdseed is so I take him to the pet food aisle and point to the bird seed.)

Me: “Is this what you’re looking for, sir?”

(The man doesn’t even look at the shelf and only keeps writing in his note pad. It goes back and forth like this for a while, and it’s starting to get to the end of my shift.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir. I’m sorry, but my shift is over. I can direct you to another employee if you like.”

(The man just made a happy sound, took the bag of birdseed he’d handed to me, and left. Throughout our hour-long exchange I learned he was 63 years old, had three kids and two were married. I never found out what he was asking me about the birdseed.)

Groundhog Bag

, , , , | Working | October 2, 2017

(I am at the checkout with my purchase.)

Cashier: “Do you want a carrier bag?”

Me: “Yes, please.”

(She spends a couple of minutes trying to fit the item into a carrier bag that is too small for it, before giving up and setting the item on the counter again. She pauses for a few seconds.)

Cashier: “Do you want a carrier bag?”

(I said no, as I wasn’t sure if we were about to repeat the entire sequence of events again!)

Watered Down Break

, , , , | Working | September 30, 2017

(I work in the jewelry section of a department store. It is completely enclosed by walls of glass cases, and at least one person has to be inside at all times. We have had several people quit and have been very low on staff, and I’ve been working serious overtime while we try to find new employees. Other than jewelry staff, only managers have the security clearance to come inside to cover my breaks. I’ve just called for coverage, as I’ve been the only person there for hours and it’s been a while since my lunch break.)

Manager: *walking past* “Hey, give me a few minutes, and then I can cover your bathroom break.”

Me: “I was actually just going to take a fifteen.”

Manager: *hesitates* “We really can’t allow any fifteens right now. We’re low on staff all around, and I’m the only manager here tonight.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Don’t worry about it.”

Manager: “I can cover you for the bathroom, if you need it.”

Me: “No, that’s fine. I was just going to sit and drink some water. We close in less than two hours, anyway.”

(I headed to the other end of the section to check on a customer. A few minutes later, I heard a clattering noise, and looked up to see my manager lifting a chair from the shoe section OVER the counter and dumping it into my section. He reached over to drop a bottle of water from the vending machine on top of it, gave me a thumbs up, and walked off.)