(I am 18 years old but I have a job as a mystery shopper. The people who run the mystery shopping company like to use me because people do not expect 18-year-olds to be mystery shoppers. I go into a department store to evaluate them. I overhear some workers gossiping about a possible mystery shopper coming in the next few weeks, without realising it is me. None of them greet me as they are too busy gossiping, which I note in my phone as a strike against them. An older gentleman with a small notebook and pencil comes into the store, and all the employees rush to greet him, leaving me on the sidelines.)

Me: “Can I see this in a size eight?”

Employee #1: “Yeah, in a sec, hon.”

(She ushers the older man to a chair and basically waits on him hand and foot. I wander around the store waiting for another employee to notice me, but none of them do.)

Me: *to another employee* “Sorry, can I get this in a size eight?”

Employee #2: “Can’t you see I’m busy? I’m helping that gentleman. Shouldn’t you be in school, anyway? You can get in trouble for truancy.”

(I end up being able to pull an employee away by threatening — very loudly — to call corporate. They do not want the customer who they think is the mystery shopper to overhear me, so they send what seems like the youngest employee to help me.)

Me: “Finally. Can I see this in a size eight?”

Employee #3: “Are you sure you’re an eight?”

Me: “Yes.”

Employee #3: “Let me measure you.”

(After I turn out to be an eight — go figure, but she gets points for going out of her way to help a guest find the right size — she goes to the back room for ten minutes — I time it — and comes back with the right shoe but the wrong colour.)

Me: “Um, I wanted this in blue.”

Employee: “Oh, yeah, we ran out of blue last week.”

Me: “Did you know that when you went into the back?”

(While I am talking, the employee is biting her lip and looking over my shoulder to view the older man. As part of my mystery shopper evaluation, I HAVE to buy something from the store. I do love the shoes, so I end up buying the colour she gave me. Once she hands me my shopping bag, she turns to leave, but I stop her.)

Me: “By the way, he’s not the mystery shopper.”

Employee: “How do you know?”

Me: “How do you think?”

(Her jaw dropped as I walked out of the store. Oh, and they failed the evaluation.)

(A national chain of department stores has moved into our area, and rather than building new stores, they purchased a regional chain and converted them over to the new brand. I begin working at the new store shortly after the change-over. In order to encourage the old store’s customers to shop in the new store, the return policy has been extended out so that customers who made purchases at the old store may return them to the new store up to a year later, even if the new store does not carry that item. Several years after the change-over, I am working in the misses’ department when I am approached by a lovely elderly lady.)

Elderly Lady: “Hello, I purchased this sweater at [Old Store] three years ago and never wore it. It still has the original tag. I bought it to wear someplace special, but then I got cancer, and almost died. I spent months in the hospital and never wore the sweater. May I return it?”

(This is far outside of that return policy, but the customer has been pleasant, and I want to help her out. I cannot process this kind of return myself, so I call a manager over. The elderly woman repeats her story about having cancer and almost dying, and wanting to return the sweater that she never wore.)

Manager: “I see the original tag here, and it doesn’t look worn. This is very much outside of our return policy, but I may be able to help you out.”

Elderly Lady: “Oh, bless you both! Thank you. You’re so kind! “

Manager: “Unfortunately, because this item is not in our system, and because we don’t carry this brand, about the best that I can do in this situation is look for a similar item on the clearance rack, and use that tag to make the return.”

Elderly Lady: “Oh, that’s fine, dear! Whatever you need to do. I’m just so glad that you could take it back. I bought it before I got cancer, and then I almost died, so I was never able to wear it.”

(The manager scans the tag of another, similar sweater from the clearance rack. The elderly lady continues on about her cancer, and how nice we are for taking the sweater back from her.)

Manager: *setting up the return in the register* “Okay, we’re all set here, and I can return the sweater and give you back $8.”

(The swiftness with which the customer goes from thanking us profusely to screaming at us is astounding.)

Elderly Lady: “WHAT?! What do you mean, you’ll only give me $8? This is an expensive sweater, young lady! Do you see what it says on that tag? It says $80!”

Manager: “Yes, ma’am. But as I’ve said, I had to get another item from the clearance rack to return that sweater, which was bought three years ago, from a store that no longer exists. Our return policy for [Old Store] merchandise only extended for one year after the change-over, and in cases where the item is no longer in the system, the policy is to get a similar item from clearance and use that barcode to help determine the return price. $8 is all that I can offer you.”

(The customer snatches the sweater back from the manager.)

Elderly Lady: “NO! This was an expensive sweater! I’m not taking $8 for it. I’ll give it as a gift to a friend!”

(We watched as she stalked back out of the store.)

(I am browsing in a department store when I overhear this interaction between two brothers, probably about five and six years old.)

Older Kid: “Bigfoot! Biiiigfoot! I found Bigfoot!”

Younger Kid: “Who’s he?”

Older Kid: “From Star Wars!”

(I work as a cashier. Our system allows for a transaction to run on multiple forms of payment, but the cashier has to hand-key the amounts and methods. If I don’t key it and the customer swipes their card, the system automatically assumes the whole transaction is running through that card.)

Customer: “Can I pay for [item] on one debit card, and the rest on another?”

Me: “Sure thing; I just have to key it in. Wait to swipe your card until I tell you.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks.”

(I begin to type, but I’m only two keys in when she swipes.)

Me: “Oops, can you hit cancel? I need to type in the amount before you swipe.”

Customer: “Sure.”

Me: “All right, don’t swipe until I tell you.”

Customer: “Got it.”

(I begin typing again, and she swipes before I’m done again. I cancel the payment from my keyboard.)

Me: “Ma’am, please. If I don’t type everything in before you swipe, the whole payment goes on that one card.”

Customer: “Oh, okay!”

(I type as fast as I can, but not fast enough, apparently.)

Me: “Ma’am, please hand me your card. I’ll just swipe it over here.”

(I am hired to work at a popular department store as a sales associate. This department store has a store credit card and the managers expect all employees to ask customers to sign up for one. Sometimes, when it is slow and the store isn’t meeting its credit applications goal, they will go around and ask the new hires if they want to open a store credit card so they can meet their goal. This happens on my first day on the sales floor. I am helping a customer when my manager approaches me with another sales associate.)

Manager: “Come on, [My Name]! [Coworker] is going to open a [Store] credit card for you!”

(Being a college student and having no credit history, I know I isn’t going to get approved but I have previously witnessed this particular manager being pushy whenever a customer or new hire said they don’t want to open a card, so her approaching me like this already makes me uncomfortable and nervous.)

Me: “Oh, no, thank you. I don’t want a credit card.”

Manager: “As long as you’re an employee at [Store] you have to apply and have a card.”

Me: “I won’t get approved. I have no cred—”

Manager: *interrupting me* “You still need to apply. It’s required for all employees. Now, do you have your driver’s license on you or do you need to go to the break room?”

Me: “I don’t want to open a credit card, [Manager]. I’m not going to get my driver’s license.”

(This continues for about five minutes, my manager trying to convince me to open an account while I keep refusing. The whole time, my other coworker who was going to open the account also tries to tell my manager that I don’t want a card and is ignored. Finally, she gives up.)

Manager: “I’m really disappointed in you, [My Name]. If you were a team player you would open a credit card so we could meet our goal but clearly you don’t care about our company. Not only are we not going to meet our goal because of you, but [Coworker] is going to suffer as well because she only needed one more app to meet her goal. If we don’t meet our goal within the next hour before we close, it will be all your fault.”

(After this happened, my manager approached me several other times to open a credit card and I refused. Finally, after a couple of months, she gave up and stopped asking me. I quit after two months later because i was tired of management always pushing us to open up credit cards.)