Many moons ago, I became the target of “Windows tech support” scammers yet again. You know the ones that always have that cliche non-American accent but still insist they’re called Jake and live in America? This had happened on and off before, but in this particular instance, I think it was a new hire trying desperately to either reach a quota, make a good impression on their boss, or something because they called me fourteen times in two days. 

FOURTEEN EFFING TIMES!

I tried everything from just hanging up, to yelling and swearing, to playing dumb and wasting their time. Nothing worked. The calls kept on coming.

At my wit’s end, I picked up the phone for the fourteenth time and spoke in the thickest, most stereotypical [Asian Country] accent I could muster as a Caucasian guy.

Me: “Thank you for calling Windows tech support. How may I help you?”

They hung up immediately and haven’t called me back since.

When I was a kid, my younger brother and I were home alone with a babysitter. My brother was five years old at the time. It was the 1980s, and the babysitter was wearing some very tacky plastic bracelets that were the height of fashion at the time. My brother watched the bracelets with obvious fascination.

Brother: “When you die, will I be grown up?”

Babysitter: “I sure hope so! Why?”

Brother: “Can I inherit your jewels for my wife, then?”

The babysitter laughed and wrote down the exchange for our parents to see. She is still alive, though, so I don’t know if my brother’s wife will ever get to inherit those treasures.

I was working in a small interior design store. We sold a special type of chairs which customers sometimes looked at but never dared to sit in for some reason. I suppose they might’ve thought they were only for display, but considering how many customers moved around our table setting, I am not sure that is it. Anyway, I usually had to let them know it was all right to test them, upon which they first declined but then changed their minds.

One day, a mother came in carrying her rather large baby. Her eyes blankly stared around the store, and I could see she was exhausted. I approached.

Me: “Can I help you with anything?”

Mother: “No, it is all right.”

Me: “Would you like to try one of our chairs?”

Mother: “No, it is fine. I am not buying a chair. I am waiting for my husband.”

Me: “Of course, but if you want, you can try a chair while waiting.”

I couldn’t help but smile a little as I saw it click in her eyes when she understood what I was getting at.

Mother: “Oh! Can I?”

She looked like a child who was told she could have ice cream but thought it was too good to be true.

Me: “Of course. Here, let me help.”

I got her seated and started planning how to best accommodate them should the baby need to feed, without risking the merchandise. However, my plans weren’t needed as the father came in to meet the, now smiling and somewhat rested, mother of his child.

Seeing her relief made my day.

I was working in a store this summer where the customers were either tourists or regulars who came in exclaiming what a beautiful store we had, saying they had gone past it so many times and had never actually come in before. No matter the reason, many people loved it, and some just came in to breathe in the atmosphere and listen to the music.

One day, a few customers were walking around in the store, and I was alone by the register. Two women who did not know each other came up to make a purchase. On their way out, they both started looking around a bit again. Then, one of them came back after a while.

Woman #1: “I found this one, too.”

I took her payment. She walked toward the door, only to have something catch her attention again.

A man came up.

Man: “I want to buy this. Hold on; I’ll have to use my laundry money.”

He started to count up very small coins. We chuckled a bit as he talked about how difficult it was to come in here and not buy anything.

Just as we finished the transaction, the two women came up again with new purchases, causing the second woman to start laughing loudly for anyone to hear.

Woman #2: “This is hilarious! We’re never getting out of here. We were both here just a moment ago!”

Man: “I know! It is so difficult to leave.”

Woman #2: *To [Woman #1]* “We’ll have to close our eyes and walk out this time.”

Woman #1: “Well, this is my third purchase, so I definitely need to get out of here.”

With some laughs and what looked like a sudden friendship between the three, they finished their transactions.

Woman #2: *To me* “Don’t worry; we’ll get out of here now so we won’t bother you anymore.”

Me: “Oh, don’t worry; you’re welcome here any time. I don’t mind. You are welcome even if it is just to look around.”

They laughed at that.

Man: “Of course, we are; we can’t look without purchasing!”

Woman #2: “Well, I have to stop now, unfortunately, or I’ll run out of money.”

Then, they all hurried along the few meters to the door, making a point of not looking at anything. I had a smile on my face for the rest of the day.

A mother and her son (about eight years old) came in, wanting to buy a stone statue. They asked if we could set it aside so they could get it on their way home. Noticing that the boy was very eager for this purchase, I turned to him.

Me: “Of course! I just need a name and phone number.”

Boy: “My name is [Boy].”

Mother: *Smiling and whispering* “Oh, and my phone number is [number].”

Me: “Great! Do you want me to wrap it up so it is protected while you are away?

Mother: “What do you say, [Boy]? Should she wrap it?”

Boy: “It is not a present; it is for me.”

Mother: “Yes, but this is just to protect it so it doesn’t break.”

Boy: “Oh.” *Turns to me and answers firmly* “Yes!”

I did so and put the note with the name and number on it. Later that day, the boy came back.

Boy: “I have a package set aside. My name is [Boy].”

I gave it to him and told him the total, and he paid with what I assumed was his mother’s card. We exchanged all the normal platitudes, and as he walked away, I noticed his mother waiting by the door, smiling proudly.

It is always nice to see kids so happy that they can do things themselves.