I work for an insurance company in the department where we deal with cases and either approve or deny them. We do not sell.

One of our most common processes is paying out for life insurance. If the customer dies, the executor can contact us and start the case. To continue with the case, we need certain documents, e.g., the death certificate.

In certain cases, we have to ask the police for the death certificate — no need for a crime to have been involved. If the police in any way have been involved with the discovery of the person in question, they will have the needed documents.

This was the issue in this particular case. I was working when the police called.

Me: “[Insurance Company], [My Name], how can I help you?”

Police: “Hi. We have received your request for the death certificate of this person.”

They gave me the needed case number, so I could find the customer.

Police: “But the person is not dead.”

Me: *Totally baffled* “Wait… What? They’re not dead?”

Police: “No, this person is most definitely alive.”

Me: “Are you really sure that it’s the same person? Can you say the name again?”

Police: “[Customer’s Unique First Name], [Customer’s Birthdate].”

Me: “Wow… This has never happened before… What are the last digits in the ID number?”

They gave a number that did not match the one in our system.

Me: “Wait, that is not the same as I’m seeing here. The ID number here is [number]. Are you able to find them?”

Police: “Wait… Yes. Now I found them. Okay, that person is actually dead.”

Yes, it really turned out that there were TWO people with the same very unique first name and the exact same birth date — but different last digits in their ID. This had never happened before, neither to us nor the police. We had a good laugh about it.

To be fair, the almost-mistake most likely happened because we are not allowed to give the full ID number through our written contact method with the police, thanks to GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation). The bosses are working on making this kind of things easier, but as most should know, needed changes for customer service are rarely prioritized over other things in big companies.

A tourist waits one week before asking for a 100% refund for a guided city tour, on a bike. She took the full three-hour tour. Her reasons for complaining are:

Tourist: “The group was too large!”

Her party was three out of thirteen people. The website clearly states that groups can be as large as fifteen people.

Tourist: “The guide was insufficiently knowledgeable!”

The guides are trained and tested, but opinions differ…

Tourist: “The city was too crowded!”

It’s a capital, in summer. What were you expecting? Some people…

I work in a bubble tea café. In walks a small group of people, with one female customer who is studying our menu thoroughly. I notice she is talking to another member of the group about some of our premium choices, three of which are currently unavailable and have big signs over their pictures saying “sold out”.

Everyone but her orders, and she finally seems to make a decision.

Customer: “Hi. Can I have the [sold-out premium drink]?”

Me: “Unfortunately, that one is sold out, as indicated.”

Customer: “Oh. What about [different sold-out premium drink]?”

Me: “That one is also sold out, sorry.”

Customer: “Hmm. Okay, then I’ll have a classic milk tea, instead.”

Me: “Great! With tapioca topping?”

Customer: “Yes, please. Oh, wait, does the classic milk tea have milk?”

Me: “Uh. Yes, the classic milk tea is with milk.”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t know. That’s fine.”

I make the drink and hand it to her. She comes back a few minutes later.

Customer: “Excuse me. What toppings did you put in?”

Me: “Tapioca? The ones you agreed to?”

Customer: “Oh, okay. They’re weird.” 

With that, she walked out. I turned to my coworker and asked if we both heard all of this; she was equally as confused as me.

I am at Copenhagen central train station, waiting for my train to Sweden. A well-dressed lady approaches me.

Lady: “Can you help me get to the airport?”

Me: “The train bound for Sweden will stop at the airport.”

This train is running on time and is scheduled to arrive in five minutes.

Lady: “No, no, my flight leaves in thirty minutes! That’s too late; you have to get me to the airport faster than that!” 

Lady, I have no control over neither the trains, the planes, or the automobile traffic. I’m just trying to catch my train and go home.

A friend of mine was at a local bar all evening and finally left shortly after two o’clock in the morning.

He went to the only local pizza place that was still open. At the pizza place, he ordered a pizza and asked for it to be delivered, gave his address, and paid.

He then waited outside for the delivery guy to come out. When he got there, my friend asked him:

Friend: “You’re taking that pizza to [address]?”

The driver said that he was.

Friend: “Well, that pizza is for me. As you’re going there anyway, can I hitch a ride?”

He was taken home and got his pizza for something similar to the price of a taxi.