I work in a bookshop. My boss, the owner, was on maternity leave, and on this slow day, I was working with a student, who had been there for longer than me. We were making small talk when an old lady came in.

Coworker: “Hello, madam. How may I—”

Customer: *Speaking over my coworker* “I have a ton of stuff to buy!”

I took over the register while my coworker helped the lady. She had a lot of things to buy indeed, had a bunch of coupons, and regularly interrupted [Coworker] to say gratuitously:

Customer: “I know I am annoying, but I am spending a lot of money here!”

In total, my coworker spent more than half an hour helping the lady, plus some time checking her out.

The next day, I had the afternoon shift. When I arrived, [Coworker] was visibly distraught.

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name]! Do you know who was here this morning?”

Guess who came back? The old lady! And she was furious. She was yelling at my coworker, accusing her of not scanning a coupon for a dictionary. My coworker said that yes, she had scanned it; she even printed the ticket from that day to show it to the lady, who was having none of it.

Customer: “You ripped me off, you b****! I know you did! I know the owner’s daughter, and I’ll have you fired, you incompetent c***!”

Coworker: “Madam, I don’t know what to tell you. The coupon was scanned; the ticket shows it. You see here? The dict—”

The lady cut her off to yell some more. This went back and forth before the old lady left.

Sometime in the afternoon, the phone rang and I picked up. Any guess as to who it was?

Customer: “The cashier ripped me off yesterday! I had a coupon, and she didn’t scan it!”

Me: “Ma’am, I was there yesterday. I saw her scan the coupon. She even showed me how to do it.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me, you b****! I know the owner’s daughter; I can have you fired in a minute!”

Me: *Fed up with the yelling* “Which daughter, ma’am? The three-year-old or the one who was born last week?”

Customer: “…Don’t act like you’re smart! I want to talk to [Owner]!” 

My boss did call her back. She told her to get lost and to stop harassing staff.

Client: “Hi. I can’t see where to enter a coupon code for your website.”

Me: “There isn’t one; we don’t issue coupon codes.”

Client: “Well, how am I supposed to get a discount? This is very unprofessional of you, forcing your customers to pay full price.”

Once or twice a year, my store gives out what is essentially free money. During the slower sale months, we’ll give people back 5% of every purchase on a coupon set for the following month. It gets people back into the store when things are slowing down, they love it, and it usually ends up only giving each customer around one to ten dollars maximum — depending on how much they spend, of course.

We are currently in a month of collecting these coupons. People can bring them in and redeem them for any purchase, but once spent, they’re gone. We shred them; they literally disappear so people can’t take them from the garbage and reuse them.

Each coupon has it printed directly on the front that they’re one-time use and nonrefundable. It’s written right under the amount of the coupon, so it’s essentially impossible not to see it.

A woman comes in and asks to return something. No problem. She has her receipt, and she’s ready to go. I look at the receipt and I can see how she paid for this: $36.59 from our coupons last month. Nonrefundable. She didn’t pay a dime out of her own pocket for this item, and now she’s asking for a full refund.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can see here that you paid with our coupons, which are nonrefundable. There isn’t any money for me to refund you for this item, because there wasn’t any money used.”

Customer: “What? The total is $36.59. You can refund me the exact amount.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t actually do that. My system won’t let me refund money that wasn’t spent. Coupons are nonrefundable.”

Customer: “That doesn’t make sense. I bought this item for $36.59; I’d like a refund of that amount.”

Me: “Well, you actually got the item for free, since it was coupons we gave you that paid for it.”

It took ten minutes of explaining before she finally left, mad and complaining about my awful customer service. I still can’t fathom how she thought that would work out.

It’s my first day at a retail job. I am ringing out an elderly woman with a few items, one of which is a package of store-brand cookies that are classified as “fudge grahams”. After I finish scanning her items, she hands me a coupon for a brand of cereal bar treats whose name includes the word “grahams”. I immediately put it down and look at her, namely since I know for a fact that we don’t carry those cereal bar treats at our store.

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but I think there was a mistake here?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “This coupon right here.”

I point to the coupon she gave me.

Me: “We don’t sell these.”

Customer: “Yes, you do!”

Me: *Confused* “Um, no, I don’t believe we do.”

Customer: “Yes, you do! Right here!”

She points at the fudge graham cookies.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this coupon is for [Cereal Brand] treats. These here are fudge grahams.”

Customer: *In a tone that’s confused and annoyed* “So? It says ‘grahams’!”

Me: *Pointing to the word on the coupon* “It says, ‘[Cereal Brand] treats’. These are fudge grahams. They’re two different things.”

Customer: *In the same tone as before* “So? It says ‘grahams’!”

Me: “Ma’am, those are cookies. This coupon is for a cereal bar treat. They’re two different products.”

Customer: *Still in the same tone* “So? It says ‘grahams’!”

By now, I’m doing my best not to facepalm and trying to maintain a professional tone of voice.*

Me: “Ma’am, it says ‘[Cereal Brand] Treats.'”

I read each word carefully.

Me: “They’re a type of cereal bar that we don’t sell here. These are fudge graham cookies. They’re not the same thing.”

Customer: *Now acting like I’m doing this on purpose* “Are you going to accept this coupon or not?”

Me: *Politely, shaking my head* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there’s no way I can accept this.”

Customer: *Demanding* “Take the fudge graham cookies off of my order.” 

I obliged without saying another word. To this day, I have no idea if she was confused, trying to play by her own rules, or just trying to pull a fast one on me. Either way, it taught me that you truly never know what to expect in the world of retail!

My store has an app that allows you to put gift cards, store cards, and coupons on it for easier access. A lady walks up to our customer service counter.

Customer: “I accidentally used my birthday coupon with the app. Put it back on.”

My coworker agrees, and by doing so, the customer gets charged on her store card the amount it originally took off, which was $0.32.

Customer: *Demanding* “What?! No! Give me that thirty-two cents back!”

My coworker, whose last day is in two days, doesn’t care.

Coworker: “I can give you a $5 gift card for the issue.”

Customer: “Can you do anything lower? I just want the thirty-two cents.”

Coworker: “The lowest I can do is $5.”

Customer: “Why are you being such a b****?! Where is your manager?!” 

Our manager came up, opened the register, gave the customer thirty-two cents, and told her to leave.