Give A Pizza A Good Home

, , , , , | Right | June 25, 2019

(I work at a popular pizza place answering phones and managing the till. Late one Saturday night, a homeless man approaches our door and asks if we have any extra pizzas, which we don’t at the time. He says thanks and leaves. Then this happens:)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Pizza Place]. Will this be for pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “Pickup. I’d like to get a Works Pizza [our “everything” pizza] and a bottle of Sprite. I have a coupon for that.”

(I am aware of all our coupons and specials and we are currently not running any with this combination.)

Me: “Sir, what is the expiration date on that coupon?”

Customer: “It doesn’t have an expiration date.”

Me: “Sir, all our coupons have expiration dates; plus, we don’t even sell that brand of soda. Are you sure that the coupon is for [Pizza Place]?”

Customer: “Yes, it is, and you have to give it to me for that price!”

Me: “May I place you on hold while I ask my manager?”

(I put him on hold and ask the manager if he knows anything about this deal. He says he’s never heard of it, but just to put the order through and we’ll deal with it when the customer comes in. I tell the customer this and we make the order for him. When he comes in:)

Customer: “I talked to you on the phone about this coupon I have for your Works Pizza and a soda.”

(He shows me the coupon and I see that it is for our restaurant chain; however, not only does it advertise a soda brand that we don’t carry, but also it is not a coupon at all, just an advertisement for a special with no expiration date and no coupon code. The manager comes over to take a look.)

Manager: “Sorry, sir, but this is not a coupon. For all I know, this could be years old. I’ve worked here for several years and we’ve never carried this soda brand.”

(The manager scrolls through our list of specials and coupons to see if there’s something similar that he can apply to the man’s order. All the while, the man is getting increasingly irate.)

Customer: “You advertised that price and you have to honor it. The customer is always right! You have to give me the special! I have a coupon!”

Manager: “Sir, you don’t have a coupon; you have an advertisement for a special that is most likely years old or from another franchise because we have never carried this brand of soda. There’s nothing else I can do for you.”

(The manager probably could have given him some kind of discount, but the man has been screaming, ranting, and raving about not getting a few dollars off his pizza.)

Manager: “[My Name], go in the back and start counting your till.”

(I do this, but even in the back I can still hear this man shouting.)

Customer: “I know lots of people! You’ll go out of business because I’ll tell everybody I know about your bad service! You’ve just lost hundreds of customers, pal!”

Manager: “Sir, you can either pay full price for your pizza and get a [Brand] soda from the cooler or you can leave.”

(The man rants some more about us not honoring his “coupon” and losing customers, and then finally leaves without his pizza. My manager comes back to where I am counting my till, visibly shaken.)

Manager: “That guy was crazy. I didn’t think he would leave.”

(He looks over at the extra pizza sitting on the warmer.)

Manager: “[My Name], remember that homeless guy that was in here just before that man came in? Take that pizza outside and see if he’s still there and if he wants it.”

(I took the pizza outside and found the homeless man. He was so grateful to have a fresh, large pizza!)

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Strictly Credit

, , , | Right | June 7, 2019

(I work in a bookshop at an airport. This day, I opened the shop at 5:30 am so I am very tired. A customer comes in with her son. She’s old, and he’s probably in his thirties or forties. The customer is talking to her son as they enter and says she wants to use a credit note. She doesn’t have any books or anything to buy as she comes up to the register; all she does is put the credit note down on the counter. I look at it.)

Me: “I’m sorry, you can’t use this credit note. It expired 11 days ago and is for another bookshop.”

Customer: “What? Are you that strict?”

Me: “Well, seeing as it’s both expired and not for our shop, yes, I’m sorry, but you can’t use this here.”

(She picked the credit note up from the counter and stormed off with her son while grumbling.)

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In Receipt Of Stolen Goods

, , , , , | Right | May 15, 2019

(I am working as a cashier at a chain retail store with a pharmacy. A woman comes in with a return. Keep in mind that there is a lot of receipt fraud happening on a daily basis. People have been stealing receipts out of the garbage and stealing products that are listed on the receipts in order to return them for money. They’ve also been using high-dollar coupons on products and then returning the items a few days later to get the full value back. Therefore, when a customer comes in with a return, I have gotten into the habit of studying the receipt to check for coupons used, the date of the purchase, the location of the purchase, or anything that seems fishy. A woman is returning a tube of Cortizone-10, as well as a few other items on her receipt. I look at the receipt and I immediately notice that a $1 manufacturers’ coupon was used on the Cortizone-10. I look at the box of Cortizone-10 being returned and I see an unused $1-off coupon, still fully intact, in plain view, stickered on the outside of the box. So, I try using logic:)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I see that a $1-off coupon was used on this Cortizone-10.” *points to the coupon still on the box* “Is this the coupon that was used?”

Customer: “Yeah…”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s not possible. There’s no way that we would leave the coupon on the box after scanning it. We peel it off, scan it, and keep it in the register.”

(And yes, we add them up at the end of the night. The customer looks at me as if I have just spoken Greek. She doesn’t get angry or upset, but she seems completely confused as if she doesn’t understand that I have just caught her. She doesn’t seem to understand the mechanics behind my explanation about how coupons are processed. Chances are, she probably didn’t even notice the $1 coupon that was processed on her stolen receipt.)

Customer: *in a daze* “Oh… Well… I don’t know why they did that.”

(I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. I considered the possibility that maybe some other $1 coupon was used in the original transaction. I asked her to put in her phone number to see if her rewards account number matched the account number on the receipt. If she could prove the receipt was hers, she’d get her refund, simple as that. She tried two different phone numbers and, sure enough, neither of them matched the rewards account that was used on the receipt. I declined the return because there was enough evidence that this receipt wasn’t hers and the products were stolen. I apologized and told her that I could not process the return. She said many stores have been giving her problems about it and she wasn’t sure why. She left the store. She wasn’t upset, but she seemed very spacey and confused about the situation. I was almost convinced that someone else had put her up to this and that she was completely innocent and unaware of the criminal activity taking place. I pondered how somebody who was in this mental state could even find and steal the correct products that were listed on a receipt. Where do these people come from?)

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Their Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Other Store!

, , , , , , | Working | May 14, 2019

(I live right up the street from a well-known fast food chain. I don’t eat their food very often, but I do enjoy their milkshakes, and I’ll often go over just for a milkshake. One day, I get a coupon for a free small milkshake with any combo purchase. It’s around lunchtime and I have the day off, so I head over to the fast food chain.)

Me: “I’ll have a [Combo], please, with a small vanilla milkshake. I also have this coupon to get the milkshake free with the combo.”

(I give her the coupon. She takes a short glance at it and hands it back to me.)

Cashier #1: “I can’t take this coupon, sir.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Cashier #1: “It says that it cannot be combined with any other offer.”

Me: “I know. It’s good only with a combo purchase.”

Cashier #: “No. It says here it can’t be used with any other offer.”

Me: “Well, if I cannot use it with the combo I’m buying, what can I use it for?”

(The cashier stares at me blankly for a moment.)

Cashier #1: “You can’t use this coupon with your purchase, sir.”

Me: *giving up* “Can I speak to your manager, please?”

(The manager overhears the conversation and approaches. I show him the coupon.)

Manager #1: “[Cashier #1] is correct, sir. This coupon cannot be combined with any other offer. You can either pay full price for your order, or you can leave and I’ll cancel it.”

(I choose to leave and return home. The following day, I pass one of the chain’s locations in a neighboring town as I’m driving home from work. I still have the coupon with me, so, on a hunch, I decide to go in and see if they will accept it.)

Cashier #2: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Could I get a [Combo] and a small vanilla milkshake, please? Oh, I also have a coupon to get the milkshake free with the combo. Is it good here?”

Cashier #2: “Why, of course, it is!”

(I hand her the coupon and she puts it through. The milkshake price comes off. As I pay for the order, the manager approaches.)

Manager #2: “Say, just out of curiosity, did you happen to come here from [My Town]?”

Me: “I did, actually!”

Manager #2: “I had a feeling. We’ve been getting a lot of customers from [My Town] lately, because the new manager there won’t accept any of the company’s coupons!”

Me: “That explains a lot, I guess!”

(I now go to that location any time I want something from that particular chain. Sure, it’s a ten-minute drive from my house, but at least it’s along the commute to my workplace. The food’s a lot better, too!)


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The Couponator 14: Multiple Attack

, , , , , | Right | April 18, 2019

(Customers have been offered a coupon that takes 30% off one purchase made today, with some emailed as printable coupons. A customer, who regularly tries to annoy and harass our cashiers into exceeding our coupon limits, is on her third such coupon of the day.)

Customer: “Okay, and I have coupons for that.”

(She hands me two physical coupons, and then presents the 30% coupon on her phone.)

Me: “You need to print that coupon out to use it.”

Customer: “No, I don’t. The barcode is right here.”

Me: “Yes, you do. When I scan a coupon, I need to actually have the coupon to turn it in.”

(I point to where the coupon states, “Print to use in store.”)

Customer: “Yeah, well, look at the line below that!”

(The line she is pointing to is a code to use the coupon for online purchases.)

Me: “I can’t do anything with that. This isn’t online.”

Customer: “Ugh, then just forget it. I don’t want that.”

(I cancel the sale and return the coupons she actually had.)

Customer: “I don’t understand why you always have to give me a hard time.”

Me: “Because I don’t want to get fired.”

Customer: “Well, we’ll see about that after I call this 1-800 number.”

(The customer stalks out with her earlier purchases. Several minutes later, she comes back inside.)

Customer: “I am buying that, anyway.”

(I begin ringing the sale again when she suddenly sneers.)

Customer: “By the way, you forgot to give me my coupons back.”

(As she says this, she’s handing me two coupons — the exact same two I apparently didn’t return.)

Me: “I… couldn’t possibly have forgotten.”

The Couponator 13: Coupons Of Purchases Past
The Couponator 12: The Special Competition
The Couponator 11: Barcode Of Duty

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