Jane Complain Reaches The Next Level
I worked for a nationwide (USA) chain pharmacy known for their five-mile-long receipts. The first thing you need to know is that most of those receipts were tons of coupons that could be applied to future purchases. Oftentimes, there would also be manufacturers’ coupons further reducing the price of sale items.
A customer who knew how to work the system could stage their purchases into several transactions, using the dollars-off coupons from the first transaction toward the second one, and so forth, often paying next to nothing for their purchases. Some would game the system, find every loophole, and generally abuse the coupon policy.
The second thing you need to know is that there were two types of cards we could provide customers getting a return: a gift card (used if the original purchase was made with a gift card) and a store card (used to refund an item when the customer didn’t have a receipt).
We had a woman who gamed the coupon system to the nth degree. We’ll call her Jane. She had everything organized by purchase, right down to the dollars and cents she expected to pay after taxes. Jane would buy laundry soap, makeup, toilet tissue, or ANYTHING she could to wrack up [Store] coupons, and then she’d buy expensive items with them, making those items essentially free — stuff like diet pills, razor blades, etc.
A few weeks later, she’d bring the expensive things back and return them without a receipt saying, “These didn’t work out, and I can’t find my receipt,” so she could get a store card for the full amount the item cost BEFORE any coupons were applied because corporate made us refund the coupons, too. If Jane paid $2.00 after coupons for a $50.00 box of diet pills, she would still get $50.00 back on her store card. I never thought this was right and grumbled every time I had to process one of these returns.
Jane also bought food with coupons and her EBT (food stamp) card, which I never minded because who doesn’t love a good deal on groceries? Jane didn’t, apparently, because she always returned the non-perishable food items a week later saying she had changed her mind. This was back before our register system could put money back on the EBT cards, so again, we would refund the entire amount, before coupons, onto a store card.
Once a month, Jane would also call corporate and complain about something, and she’d be sent a $25 gift card as an apology. She often used the gift cards toward her sale-item purchases.
No one knew what she did with the store cards, as she never used them at the front register.
One day, I was going on my lunch break and happened to stop by the pharmacy in the back of the store to pick up a prescription. Jane happened to be there and I watched the following.
Pharmacy Tech: “That will be $87.53.”
Jane: “Why so much?”
Tech: “You wouldn’t let us run your insurance for [narcotic medication], so it’s more expensive this time.”
Jane: “Oh, that’s fine, then. Here, you can run each of these until my total is zero.”
She handed over about eight store cards. The tech swiped them one at a time until Jane’s balance was nothing and handed Jane back the unused cards. Jane picked up her bag and left. It was then my turn.
Tech: “Oh, hey, [My Name]. Here to pick up?”
I had a sudden thought.
Me: “Yes, thanks. Say, does Jane always use store cards to pay for her stuff back here?”
Tech: *Laughing* “Oh, yeah. Every time. She says she could never afford her medicine without them. It’s annoying when there’s a huge line of patients waiting and we have to swipe like, ten cards, to pay for all her prescriptions. It’s even worse when she makes us do her refunds back here.”
Me: *Suppressing a grimace* “Oh, yeah, I can see how that would be a pain. Thanks!”
I immediately went to the front and asked to talk to my store manager in the office.
Manager: “What’s up?”
Me: “So, you know how Jane is always getting store cards, but we never knew what she was doing with them?”
Manager: “I always thought she used them in other stores.”
Me: “Nope. She’s using them to pay for her prescriptions.”
Manager: “Oh. And?”
Me: “Manager, she gets those store cards by having us refund coupons and EBT items.”
Manager: “…And?”
Me: “By extension, she’s using [Store] coupons, manufacturers’ coupons, and food stamps to purchase prescription drugs, including narcotics.”
The manager’s eyes went wide as she followed my logic.
Me: “Which, as a person with a criminal justice degree — like me — can tell you, is highly illegal.”
Manager: “Oohhhhh. Yeah.”
Me: “If anyone found out, we could be in massive trouble. We should notify corporate. I mean, the DEA could own our a**es if they knew.”
Manager: *Smugly* “Leave it to me and enjoy your lunch. I have some phone calls to make.”
I went to lunch and thought nothing more about it.
The next day, there was a new policy printed up which all of us had to sign to state that we understood. The policy stated that STORE cards were no longer allowed to be used on restricted item purchases: tobacco, lighters, cough medication, pseudoephedrine, diet pills, and prescriptions of ANY kind. We also put up multiple signs at the front door, at every register, and in the pharmacy stating this. Gift cards could still be used to purchase these items, as gift cards were generally purchased or were from valid refunds with a receipt.
Furthermore, all refunds without receipts had to be made with a valid ID, and no one could have more than one of these returns per month. All refunds had to be made at the front register and nowhere else. If the value of an item being returned was $50 or more, or the total refund amount was $50 or more, a manager had to come sign off on it. Any employee caught violating the new policy would face write-ups and potential termination. I grinned as I signed.
Later that week, it happened.
Jane walked in with some items in a nondescript bag. She came to the register and dumped them on the counter.
Jane: “I need to return these. I don’t want them anymore.”
Me: “Of course! Do you have your receipt?”
Jane: “No. I don’t keep those things.”
Me: “Ah, okay, then. I’ll just need your ID.”
Jane: “What? Why do you need that? No one’s ever asked for that before.”
Me: “Oh, sorry. We have a new refund policy. Any refund without a receipt has to be made with an ID.”
Jane: “But why?“
Me: “I dunno. It’s a corporate thing. Sorry about that.”
Jane: “Get me your manager.”
Me: “Right away!”
I paged the manager to the front register, and she came up and stood beside me.
Manager: “How can I help?”
Jane: “Your cashier asked me for my driver’s license so I can refund these things I do not. Want.”
Manager: “Yes, ma’am. Corporate sent down a new policy to limit store losses from no-receipt refunds. I apologize for the inconvenience.”
Jane: “Where is that in your return policy?”
Manager: *Pointing to all the new signs* “It started a few days ago. We have it posted so our customers can be aware.”
Jane: “Well, I never keep receipts! I have so many that if I kept all of them, my purse wouldn’t close!”
Manager: “I’m very sorry, but we’ve been told there are no exceptions to this.”
Jane: “Fine. I’ll return them somewhere else!”
She gathered up her things and stomped away.
Manager: *To me* “Let me know if she causes any problems.”
A few minutes later, I was ringing up a different customer and heard Jane shouting from the back of the building.
Jane: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I CAN’T?!”
Me: *Paging overhead* “Manager to the pharmacy! Manager to the pharmacy!”
I saw the manager make her way to the back, and I returned to the customer I have. I didn’t hear anything else until Jane was storming back up, swearing. She marched out of the store with her phone to her ear, muttering about getting us all fired, especially for “singling her out”.
I could hear parts of the conversation through the automatic door, which opened now and then while she was yelling at some poor soul in customer service. Eventually, Jane left.
As it turned out, corporate was VERY interested in how Jane was buying her prescriptions and agreed with me about the illegality. They contacted the district manager, who put the new return policy in place at all the locations he oversaw — ten stores in total.
Jane’s account with corporate was flagged for fraud and she couldn’t get any more apology gift cards. Ever. They also told her that if she ever attempted to use store cards to buy prescriptions again, they would report her to the police. It was SO satisfying that she’d been caught.
My manager treated me to lunch for it. It was a small reward for stopping a potentially massive fine from the government, but I was happy about how things turned out.
Related:
The Continuing Saga Of Jane Complain
The Saga Of Jane Complain
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