I’m a new hire at the grocery store, and one of the managers is explaining how to work the assistant role at the self-checkout.

Manager: “Now, customers usually wait until the checkouts are backed up when they do this, but you’ll come across customers who will say they don’t know how to use self-checkout. Once in a while, this is true, but mostly, they’re just being lazy.”

Me: “What should I do?”

Manager: “What I do is very cheerfully explain the barcode to them, how to scan it, and how to bag it, then I step back and made sure I am very encouraging while telling them to try it.”

A few moments later, we see another coworker talking to a lazy customer as if they were cheering on a toddler:

Coworker: “That’s it. Good job! Take the barcode, and wheeeee! Scan and beep! Isn’t it easy?!”

Me: *To the manager.* “One of your students?”

Manager: “My star pupil!”

It’s my first day at a new job, and I am warned about a coworker as everyone knows I will be sitting beside her. I keep asking what the warnings are for, and they all just say, “You’ll see.”

She arrives the next day, and in a thick Scottish accent, she starts telling me about the terrible day she had yesterday.

Coworker: “My wee fella wasn’t well, so I had to take him to hospital.”

Me: “Oh, that’s terrible. I hope he is okay.”

Coworker: “Want to see a photo of him?”

She proceeded to show me a photo of a lizard in a Santa costume.

That was how I got to work next to Lizard Woman. I got daily updates on how “Scaly Claus” was doing, and I actually enjoyed them!

I am seventeen and new to my restaurant, serving my first table ever. My manager knew I was nervous as h*** and helped me take the orders and ask questions I didn’t know to ask. Yet despite her supervising, apparently, we got the entire table’s order wrong. Oh, and to add:

Customer: “And the food is cold!”

Manager: “There is steam coming off of it.”

Customer: “It’s still cold!

My manager argued with them for a bit but eventually comp’d the entire six-person table’s entrees. When I deliver the bill:

Customer: *Furious.* “What?! You have the audacity to expect us to pay for drinks too?!”

The bill has over $100 worth of drinks.

Manager: “You will be paying for the drinks since I poured them myself and unlike this poor kid whose day you’ve tried to ruin, I have the backbone that comes with age to stand up to bullies like you. Also, you are all on camera and none of you will be welcome back in the restaurant.”

Thanks to that table, I was confident with every other I served afterward, thanks to copying that manager’s example.

I applied to an ad for a front-of-house position at a restaurant where my friend happens to work. It’s a decent amount of money for my level of experience, and during the phone interview, I was enthusiastically told about the average amount of tips I would receive.

They also fed employees restaurant-quality food, and I was a poor student at the time, so I accepted the job offer.

I turned up for my first shift.

Manager: “You’re too early, so there are no pots yet.”

Me: “Pots? What do you mean?”

Manager: “I have you down on the rota as a pot washer.”

Me: “I’m here for front-of-house.”

Manager: “Yeah, well, the last pot washer just quit, so you need to fill in for a couple of weeks while we find a replacement.”

Me: “I mean, I guess? You’d better find one soon as I’ll be a bit overpaid for a washer—”

Manager: “You’ll be on [minimum wage].”

Me: “That’s not what was offered.”

The manager explained that the rate I’d been promised was for front-of-house, and I would get it when they got a replacement. Also, no food, and no tips.

I went and sat in the café for a bit and phoned my friend who works there.

Friend: “Yeah, this is something the industry pulls, especially this place. They can find waitstaff easily, but pot washers are harder to recruit. Run, girl!”

I turned my phone off and went home. I didn’t tell them I was leaving, but they didn’t tell me they were hiring me as a pot washer, so f*** them.

I’m learning how to use our inventory system at a service desk in a large department store I just worked at.

Manager: “You picked that up really quick! I think you’ll be fine.”

Me: “Thank you! Is that everything I need to do at this desk?”

Manager: “Everything outside dealing with questions from customers, but you can send those to me for now. You’re not ready for our customers.”

Me: “That sounds ominous.”

With perfect timing, a coworker walks over to us and says to the manager:

Coworker: “I need you to deal with a customer return at desk nine. They’re complaining because their Roomba doesn’t clean the walls or ceiling.”

Me: *To my manager.* “Never mind… you were right.”

Related:
Welcome To Retail, Part 11
Welcome To Retail, Part 10
Welcome To Retail, Part 9
Welcome To Retail, Part 8
Welcome To Retail, Part 7