Warning: Movie May Require Brain Cells

, , , , | Right | July 1, 2008

Customer: “This is a readin’ movie. Do I have to pay fer this? It’s a readin’ movie. Ya’ know, where ya’ have to read it?”

Me: “You mean, it had subtitles?”

Customer: “Yeah! Those! I don’t have to pay for that, do I?”

Me: “Well, we really don’t do preferential refunds because it isn’t our obligation to make sure the customer likes the movie. We just make it available.”

Customer: “That’s bullcrap!”

(He skulks away from my register and hangs around the candy display as the next customer walks up laughing.)

Me: *to the next customer* “Hello, ma’am. How’re you doing today? Good? That’s great. Before we start here, I’d like to warn you that this magazine you’re about to purchase is a readin’ magazine, and that we don’t give refunds. Sorry.”

(The previous disgruntled customer, who obviously heard everything I said, was completely oblivious to the fact that I was mocking him.)


This story is part of the Scared-Of-Subtitles roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Times Customers Were So Bad You Could Make A Movie About It

 

Read the next Scared-Of-Subtitles roundup story!

Read the Scared-Of-Subtitles roundup!

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Accidental Lemonade From Lemons

, , , , , | Right | June 29, 2008

Me: “Hi, can I help with anything?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a good book.”

Me: “Do you have any specific genre or subject in mind?”

Customer: “Yes, a good one… One that I’ll like.”

Me: “Um, you’ll have to be a bit more specific. I don’t really know what you like. Science fiction, thriller, fantasy, horror, that sort of thing?”

Customer: “Well, don’t you know any good books?”

Me: “I haven’t actually read them all, but–”

Customer: “You haven’t? What kind of librarian are you? Isn’t there anyone here who can help me?”

Me: “This one–” *holding up a book* “–is pretty popular at the mo–”

Customer: “How do you know I’ll like it?! You can’t know that. I want a book that I’ll like.”

(I get frustrated and just grab a random book that was recently turned in.)

Me: “Here, you’ll love this one!”

(Unfortunately, she did like it, and told my boss to thank me for my great suggestion. Darn.)

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Employee Of The Year

, , , | Right | June 17, 2008

Customer: “I’m looking for a book.”

Me: “Were you after a particular book?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “What was the title?”

Customer: “I can’t remember.”

Me: “Do you know who the author is?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you remember what it’s about?”

Customer: “I saw it recently…”

Me: “Can you tell me anything at all about it?”

Customer: “It had a nondescript cover.”

Me: “…”

(And I found it!)

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…Or Look Under “C” For Clueless

, , | Right | April 17, 2008

Me: “[Plumbing company], how can I help you?”

Customer: Yeah, do you guys clean ducts?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, we don’t do that.”

Customer: “Then who does do it?”

Me: “I’m not sure but you could probably find a duct cleaning company in the phonebook.”

Customer: “Okay, how do I do that?”

Me: “Open the phonebook… and look for duct cleaning.”

Customer: “Okay, what do I look under?”

Me: *bangs head on desk* “I’m guessing the letter D might be a start…”

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Hogwarts: The Continuing Education Years

, , , | Right | April 3, 2008

(It’s the Harry Potter Midnight party. Customers are dressed as characters from the book. Most are children, but there are also some overly enthusiastic/creepy adults wandering around.)

Lone Witch Lady: “This is so exciting! What are you doing with the boxes that the books came in? Can I have one?”

Me: “I don’t see why not, but I’ll have to ask my manager.” *asks manager* “I’m sorry, we have to keep them for inventory.”

Lone Witch Lady: “Are you sure? My cats would love one. ”

Me: “Your… cats? Would they seriously love a Harry Potter cardboard box more than a plain cardboard box?”

Lone Witch Lady: “Oh, yes!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we can’t give them away. Um, have you tried the Bertie Bots Bean Counting Contest?”

Lone Witch Lady: “Ooh!” *scampers off*

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