Mismanaged Your Time

, , , , , | Working | September 13, 2017

(One summer, I do an internship at a popular independent radio station. We have gotten an interview with the lead singer of a reasonably popular British rock band. However, the band’s manager is a bit of a pain to deal with, and has a tonne of demands in regards to content that he is always changing. The DJ tells me this is the norm in this business, but this guy is just obnoxious. Each time he calls, he acts like he is doing us the world’s biggest favour. Not long before the interview, he calls the umpteenth time.)

Band Manager: “Now, listen here. [Singer] has a VERY busy day today, and you cannot keep him on the line a minute longer than necessary. Got it?”

Me: “Oh, yes, there’s nothing to worry about. [DJ] should be done in under 15 minutes.”

Band Manager: “There are to be no personal question about him or the band; is that clear?! He isn’t here to answer silly questions”

Me: “Don’t worry; we have a bunch of questions about the new album coming out, and that’s all we’re concerned with.”

Band Manager: “Make sure you do.”

(With that, he just hangs up. The interview goes very well, and the singer seems pleased with the questions the DJ asks about the new album.)

DJ: “Thanks so much for joining us, [Singer]; I hear today’s a busy one for you.”

Singer: “Oh, not really. I’ve been just chilling and playing [Video Game] today. I’ll probably stroll down to [Bakery] in a bit. Easy day.” *chuckles*

(The DJ and I were both fighting hard not laugh at this point, since this guy basically revealed his manager was lying. We could imagine the embarrassed look on the manager’s face when he said that. That was the only time we had this band on our show; we think the manager was too embarrassed after that one.)

How Not To Be Stern

, , , | Working | August 16, 2017

(The morning show host at my radio station has seen that Howard Stern movie one too many times, and as such, believes the key to being a great radio announcer is being hated. He goes out of his way to be as unlikable as possible, antagonizing anyone he can: listeners, coworkers, the boss. One day, I come into work to see that he’s cleaned out his office.)

Me: “Hey, [Morning Guy], why is your office cleaned out?”

Morning Guy: “I just got a job at [Other Radio Station]. When the boss comes in today, I’m going to give my one month’s notice. I have no doubt that they’re going to turn around and fire me as soon as I give it in.”

Me: “What makes you say that?”

Morning Guy: “Because they did it to [Former Coworker].”

Me: “Dude, that was different. [Former Coworker] was a jerk, and he turned into a total a**-hole after he turned in his notice. But you… the boss loves you, for some reason.”

Morning Guy: “Nope. I’m a much bigger a**-hole than [Former Coworker] ever was. Just you wait and see. As soon as I give my notice, they’ll have security escorting me to the door.”

(Later that day, the boss comes in, and the morning guy goes in to deliver the news. The boss closes the door, they have a long meeting, and the morning guy eventually comes out, just stunned.)

Me: “So, are you fired?”

Morning Guy: “No…”

Me: “Then what happened?”

Morning Guy: “They offered me a raise to stay.”

(He went back to his empty office, just flabbergasted, muttering about Howard Stern and how the boss is supposed to hate him. Never have I seen a man work so hard to be unlikable, and fail!)

Too Much Effort For A Keyboard Warrior

, , , , | Right | August 8, 2017

(This is a discussion I have with a listener on my station’s Facebook page.)

Listener: “You’re the worst radio DJ ever, and I’m going to do everything it takes to get you fired!”

Me: “In that case, you’ll need my boss’s phone number, so you complain about me directly to him. You can reach him at [Head Office’s phone number].”

Listener: “NO!  Complaining on Facebook is easier!”

Church Disservices

| OH, USA | Right | July 6, 2017

(I am selling discount coupons for clients at our radio station for advertising dollars. I am working the window helping a regular when the phone rings. When there’s only one person there [me, this day], our policy is to answer the phone and then continue with the customer at the window. The customer I’m helping is a regular and doesn’t mind. This is the phone call:)

Me: “[Radio Station], this is [My Name].”

Caller: “Sshbsjrfjfj.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Caller: “Dhwrfkgh.”

Me: “I beg your pardon; one more time please?”

Caller: “Hdkdhd.”

Me: “I’m so sorry about that. How can I fix that?”

Caller: “WHY AREN’T YOU PLAYING THE CHURCH SERVICES?”

(I finally understand the issue.)

Me: “We play the services on Sunday morning from 8:45-11:30.”

Caller: “Yes, HELLLOO! WHY AREN’T YOU PLAYING THEM?!”

Me: “It’s currently 11:45 and today is Saturday.”

Caller: “I want to hear the church services!”

Me: “Tune in tomorrow between 8:45 and 11:30.”

Caller: “Why aren’t they on now?”

Me: “We play them on Sunday, tomorrow, from 8:45-11:30. You can tune in then.”

Caller: “I know the owner and I’m calling him if you don’t play them now.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll put them on right away.”

Caller: “Was that so hard?” *click*

(It was then 11:55 and we stop selling coupons at noon. I finished the regular customer and closed up shop. As I was putting the phone into weekend voicemail mode I saw the number from the caller on the caller ID. I knew what it was about and chuckled. When I got to work on Monday, I found out that she called and left ten voicemails on Saturday and four more on Sunday. She wanted to know why we changed the days of the week.)

Working Times Killed The Radio Star

| AB, Canada | Working | July 6, 2017

(You work pretty odd hours as a reporter at a small town radio station, being out until really late at night covering events and then up at five am to get the story on the morning news. My boss starts thinking that her boyfriend is going to be the next big thing in radio, and tells me to start training him. So, his first night, we’re out covering a council meeting until 11 pm. When the meeting finishes, he turns to me.)

Boss’s Boyfriend: “Now let me get this straight. You’re going to be up at five am to write this up and get it on the morning news.”

Me: “Yup.”

Boss’s Boyfriend: “And how many times a week do you do this?”

Me: “Once or twice. This week, we’ll be doing it three times.”

Boss’s Boyfriend: “Yeah. This isn’t going to work for me.”

(And that’s the last I heard about the boss’s boyfriend being the next big thing in radio.)

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