Oblivious To The Social Media Fallout

, , , , , | Working | June 5, 2018

(I am on my way home from college, flipping through the local radio stations. I stop on what turns out to be a pop station and listen as the host says, without a trace of irony:)

Host: “Up next, The Chainsmokers and their hit song Sick Boy. I think the chorus, ‘How many likes is my life worth?’ really says something about our society. Anyway, don’t forget to follow us on Twitter for all your music news!”

Not Even Remotely Getting Paid

, , , | Working | February 10, 2018

(I’m working at a small town radio station. We have a big event coming up in town, and we’re deciding how to handle it. Some of the radio jargon: a “remote” is when we’re live on location from an event, and “canning the remote” is when we pre-record some or all of our coverage about the event.)

Boss: “Okay, this is a pretty major event, and I want our presence there to be as big as possible. Therefore, I want you to can the remote, so everyone can be at the event, interacting with the crowd.”

(My coworker and I agree. The day comes, so we make our recording about the event at the station, as per the boss’s orders, load up our gear into the station vehicle, and head to the event. We arrive, set up our booth, and get ready to do our thing. When the boss shows up, she looks at us and says:)

Boss: “By the way, you’re not getting paid for this. Because you decided to can this remote so you can all be here screwing around, it no longer counts as a remote.”

(From that day forth, whenever the boss told us to can a remote so, “we can all be there and maximize our presence,” we politely told her, “No.”)

Booby Cancer: The One You Can Laugh At

, , , , | Right | December 8, 2017

(I work in production for an extremely popular radio station; however, I occasionally fill in different roles when people are sick. On this particular day, I work production on the breakfast show, then answer phone calls at reception. This call comes through on the complaints line.)

Me: “Good morning. You’ve reached [Radio Station]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes. I would like to put in a complaint.”

Me: “Sorry to hear that, sir. What would you like to complain about?”

Customer: “I was listening to your breakfast show, and I am horrified by the language you use at that time of morning!”

(I’m confused, because I listened to the entire show while producing.)

Me: “May I ask what was said?”

Customer: “’Breasts.’”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “Your announcers were talking about some disease and they said it… AT 7:30 IN THE MORNING!”

Me: “Sir, the disease they were talking about was breast cancer.”

Customer: “I don’t care what they were talking about! It shouldn’t be said on-air.”

Me: “’Breast’ is the biological term for that area of the body.”

Customer: “Stop making excuses!”

Me: “Well, what would you prefer they be called?”

(The customer thinks for a moment.)

Customer: “Boobies.”

(I laughed so hard I had to hang up on him.)

Wish You Could Maintain Radio Silence

, , , , , | Right | October 30, 2017

(I am a producer at an AM radio station that has an affiliation with a television news station. With a generally older listenership, this is an example of the kind of calls I get on a daily basis.)

Me: “[Station], how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, is this [Station]?”

Me: “Yes, it is, sir. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, channel five is in Spanish”

Me: “Your television channel?”

Caller: “Yes. Can you fix it?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I think you have the wrong number. This is the radio station”

Caller: “Yes, I know that. What I want is to know why they are speaking Spanish on channel five.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t think I can help you with that. You should try calling your service provider”

Caller: “I am calling my service provider. You control that news station with that weather guy. So, why can’t you fix my TV?”

Me: “We don’t control the TV station. We are a radio station.”

Caller: “Okay, put me through to the TV people.”

Me: “I can’t put you through to them. They are a different company. You have to call a new number. They only broadcast on channel ten, anyway; they can’t help you, either”

Caller: “Why can’t you just fix this?! Let me talk to your boss!”

Me: “Sir, I am the producer of this show. I’m the only person you can talk to right now; you called the hotline.”

Caller: “Jesus Christ! I’m writing a letter!”

Me: “Thanks for listening. Have a nice day.”

(Never did see that letter. He probably sent it to the TV station.)

Mismanaged Your Time

, , , , , | Working | September 13, 2017

(One summer, I do an internship at a popular independent radio station. We have gotten an interview with the lead singer of a reasonably popular British rock band. However, the band’s manager is a bit of a pain to deal with, and has a tonne of demands in regards to content that he is always changing. The DJ tells me this is the norm in this business, but this guy is just obnoxious. Each time he calls, he acts like he is doing us the world’s biggest favour. Not long before the interview, he calls the umpteenth time.)

Band Manager: “Now, listen here. [Singer] has a VERY busy day today, and you cannot keep him on the line a minute longer than necessary. Got it?”

Me: “Oh, yes, there’s nothing to worry about. [DJ] should be done in under 15 minutes.”

Band Manager: “There are to be no personal question about him or the band; is that clear?! He isn’t here to answer silly questions”

Me: “Don’t worry; we have a bunch of questions about the new album coming out, and that’s all we’re concerned with.”

Band Manager: “Make sure you do.”

(With that, he just hangs up. The interview goes very well, and the singer seems pleased with the questions the DJ asks about the new album.)

DJ: “Thanks so much for joining us, [Singer]; I hear today’s a busy one for you.”

Singer: “Oh, not really. I’ve been just chilling and playing [Video Game] today. I’ll probably stroll down to [Bakery] in a bit. Easy day.” *chuckles*

(The DJ and I were both fighting hard not laugh at this point, since this guy basically revealed his manager was lying. We could imagine the embarrassed look on the manager’s face when he said that. That was the only time we had this band on our show; we think the manager was too embarrassed after that one.)

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