Growing up, my family listened to a popular local radio station in the morning. One part of the morning show was to announce birthdays that people had called in. It was my birthday (1997), and we were listening to the radio as usual.

DJ: “…and we have [My Full Name] from [Hometown] who turns ten today. A double-digit midget, how about that? And next…”

I was speechless. I would have been thrilled if not for the second part. I was already small for my age, and I knew the kids at school listened to the same station. I begged my parents to keep me home from school, but they refused. I walked into the home room and saw several other kids grinning.

Kid #1: “Hi, [My Name]! I knew you were a midget!”

Me: “I’m not.”

Kid #1: “I heard it on the radio.”

Me: “Well, I’m not.”

Kid #2: *Singing.* “Double-digit midget! Double-digit midget!”

Teacher: “Okay, that’s enough. Let’s settle down.”

For the rest of the day and several days after, those two kids called me a double-digit midget every time a teacher wasn’t around. I tried to tell my teacher, but they denied it, so nothing happened. When my next birthday came around, I told my parents *not* to call the radio station.

I work for a radio station that presents local news, with a little world news segment. We offer a summer internship for journalism students at the local university to come and see how radio news works, and even help put together the script for some stories. Part of this involves a quick test during the interview stage, asking them to write a quick headline and copy for made-up world news events.

Manager: “Why didn’t you put [Student’s Name] through to the consideration list?”

Me: “Oh, that guy? Look, we only have two intern spaces, so they need to go to the very best.”

Manager: “What’s wrong with [Student’s Name]? He’s the son of a friend, so I kinda wanted to give him a chance.”

Me: “On his newscast copy, he said guerrilla warfare was ‘monkeys with guns’.”

Manager: “…Never mind.”

A few years ago, the World’s Largest Rubber Duck came to our city. A local radio station got a permit, and we had a street party. (For those who think this is weird, it was an excuse to say, “Hey, that is a big duck!”, and then eat bad food and drink for a few hours.)

The radio station was playing as many duck-related songs as they could — mostly any rock song that said “duck” in any context.

My wife and I were standing around waiting for the duck. I, a fat white dude in my thirties, started chatting with an elderly Black dude.

Me: “Man. They should play the DuckTales theme song.”

I said this knowing full well that the man may not have any idea what “DuckTales” was. He was definitely old enough that his child would not have watched it, but maybe a grandchild?

Dude: “Yes, they should.”

Like an hour went by, and we got separated in the crowd.

Then, the radio station started blaring the “DuckTales” theme song.

In the crowd, I saw an old Black man raise his head, scan the crowd, and give me a nod and a smile, and then he turned away.

I was the overnight news anchor for a local radio station in central Ohio. During the winter, the very first flakes of snow would start the calls to see if school was closed because of the weather. Our station policy was to not give this information over the phone, but to tell them to listen to the radio for the announcements.

Of course, this wasn’t good enough for some people:

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’ll have to listen to the radio.”

Caller: “I don’t have one.”

Me: “The TV stations announce it too.”

Caller: “I don’t have a TV either.”

Me: “Do you have a window?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Well you keep looking out the window and if you see the school bus coming, it means that there’s school today!”

My boss laughed as he gave me a verbal warning for being rude to a listener.

I work in radio engineering at a large radio station. Our office has a new guy who is fresh out of college and training. He gets a tech call.

Caller: “Someone spilled coffee on the mixing board in the control room. We need you over here to help us disconnect the board and figure out what will need replacing.”

New Guy: “Okay, well, we have to go by the book and troubleshoot—”

Caller: “Nah, you don’t need to troubleshoot. Just come over and—”

New Guy: “No. I have to go by the rulebook, and it’s telling me to tell you how to disconnect the board according to the manual.”

Caller: “It’s literally on fire. Maybe we don’t need to follow the rulebook.”