The Power Of A (Lack Of A) Name

| Krakow, Poland | Working | June 23, 2016

(We have finished boarding the plane back to France, after waiting for about seven hours in the airport due to bad weather. The plane is crowded; we are all exhausted and eager to return home. The staff close the door and start the usual boarding speech. There is one steward and three hostesses.)

Steward: “Dear ladies and gentlemen, sorry for the delay. You are on board of the [Company] flight number 1234 to Lyon. My name is [Steward], I’ll be your cabin chief for the flight, and I will be assisted with [Hostess #1], [Hostess #2] and… er…”

(The steward make an awkward pause, looking at his colleague just near him. Both of them start to blush, but she says nothing and we start to understand that Steward forgot her name. We start to laugh. The steward make a sheepish look at us, completely red of shame, then back at her. Everyone is laughing, including the three hostesses.)

Steward: *speaking only to her* “Sorry for this, what’s your name? Sandra? Caroline?”

(She laughs a little and says to him her name after a long wait.)

Steward: *on the mic* “…and [Hostess #3]. Sorry for forgetting your name.”

(After this funny moment, we were a little more happier, forgetting about the very long wait in the airport.)

A**-Holes Sit At The Back

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Friendly | June 5, 2016

(My coworker and I are headed home after a week-long conference. Our last leg is on a small plane with about 20 seats total. The front is full; the back has several open seats. It is also maybe helpful to note that I am a larger girl.)

Flight Attendant: “In order to meet weight distribution requirements we will need someone in these first four rows to move to the back. Is anyone interested in volunteering?”

Me: “I’ll move. I don’t mind.”

Man In The Back: “They moved one person? That’s ridiculous.”

Me: “I am sure that it makes a difference.”

Man In The Back: “One person’s weight is not going to make that much of a difference!”

Me: “Well, you don’t know how much I weigh, sir.”

You’re My Wingman

| Dulles, VA, USA | Working | March 28, 2016

(I am on an airplane just before takeoff and am sitting in an exit row. In accordance with federal regulations, the flight attendant has to ask us certain questions.)

Flight Attendant: “You are sitting in an exit row. Are you able to read English and follow instructions in English if necessary?”

Me: “Yes.”

People across the aisle: “Yes.”

Person on my left: *gestures to me* “What he said.”

Flight attendant: *glaring* “Do you see that wing seat?”

Person on my left: “Yes, I usually work on them.” *points to his Airplane Maintenance Crew ID tag*

Flights Of Fancy

| Maui, HI, USA | Related | February 9, 2016

(My grandma recently retired. She has a lot of travel rewards to claim and decides to take my family to Hawaii. As we are getting off the first of our three planes, we meet a couple also going to Hawaii on our same flights for their honeymoon. We’re on the third plane and most of our seats are separated due to last-minute seating changes, resulting in the awkward one seat in a three person row. Luckily, the other two seats in the row are occupied by our new couple friends. My nine-year-old sister is sitting next to them and is extremely tired after twelve hours of traveling, and ends up falling asleep on the wife’s shoulder. My mom sees this.)

Mom: “I’m so sorry about her.”

Newlywed Wife: “It’s fine! We want one just like her someday!”

Grandma: *laughs* “No, you don’t.”

Coached In Difficult People

| AK, USA | Friendly | November 19, 2015

(I am a customer flying alone on a major airline, and am seated next to a high-powered middle-aged couple. They try to order drinks before takeoff, and being refused seems to set their tone for the rest of the flight. They complain to each other for the rest of the boarding process, and ring the stewardess button twice more before cruising altitude to see if they can order drinks. After a third explanation of when drinks will start being served, they try to persuade our flight attendant by sharing all their flying-coach woes. She agrees that it is difficult in coach, but that the drinks cart will come by once the plane levels off. They stare blankly, incredulous at her indifference to their suffering. I stare incredulously at them, because they’ve hardly left this woman alone since we came aboard.)

Man: “You have no idea how uncomfortable these seats are.”

(That is just too ridiculous, I can’t help myself:)

Me: “Uh, I think she does. She works here.”

(They stare at me like they have forgotten I was there.)

Me: “I bet she’d love to have our seats. All they have to sit on are little fold-out things that come out of the wall… when people like you actually let them sit down.”

(Nothing more was said between us for three hours. It was an awkward flight…)

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