When I was eight, my family lived overseas due to my dad being in the military. We were on a tiny island near Portugal where you could see the ocean from every direction. When my mom got pregnant with my brother, she absolutely refused to give birth because she didn’t trust the healthcare provided, so she and I traveled back home to the United States so she could give birth. Dad would meet us up there a few months later around the due date.

My brother was an incredibly sensitive baby who would not. Stop. Crying. (We came to find out that he’s autistic.) My mom had some serious postpartum anxiety as a result. When my brother was around five or six months old, we were on our very long flight back home, and due to some mishaps, I had to sit separately from my parents on the other side of the plane. Luckily, I had gotten a portable DVD player to keep me entertained. (This was before smartphones.)

I was told how the flight went once we landed; my mom looked completely pissed.

I could hear my poor brother’s screams for almost the entire flight. There was one particular flight attendant who made it her mission to let my parents know how miserable she was, constantly walking over to ask them to get him to stop crying, asking what his problem was, etc. My mom kept getting more and more irritated, and my dad kept trying to keep her calm.

And then, this flight attendant came back with this gem.

Flight Attendant: “I see you’re military, sir. We happen to have a seat open in first class. Would you like to take it free of charge?”

My mom sat there, flabbergasted, pointedly looking between this moronic woman and her screaming baby. My dad luckily managed to speak before she could.

Dad: “Thank you, but as you can see, I’m with my family right now. But I do have my daughter sitting in [seat number]. She would love to sit up in first class since she’s away from us anyway.”

The attendant made a twisted expression.

Flight Attendant: “I’m sorry, we can’t do that. This offer is for service members only.”

Mom: “Are you stupid? Do you not see that we’re kind of struggling here? And you have the audacity to ask my husband to leave me?! Go the f*** away!”

The flight attendant gave another dirty look before leaving. Apparently, she also switched with the other attendant there because she stopped bothering my parents.

Luckily, my brother cried himself to sleep and stayed asleep for most of the flight.

This happens when I am returning from my annual two-week active duty in the Navy Reserves. I have my Department of Defense return flight from New Orleans to San Antonio. If you know anything about the military, they always book your flights to and from active duty sites in coach — unless you’re an officer, and I am not.

I check in at the flight desk and then again at the terminal to ensure that I have my reserved seat on the flight home. They finally call my boarding section, and I drag myself and my backpack onto the plane. I find my seat and there’s a woman sitting in it. WOW. Okay.

Me: “Ma’am, you’re in my assigned seat.”

Woman: “No, I’m not!”

She keeps insisting that she’s not in my seat. The flight attendant is called, and she looks at my boarding pass and this lady’s flight ticket — no boarding pass.

Flight Attendant: *To me* “Please step to the front of the plane, and I’ll sort it out after everyone has boarded.”

I was pi**ed but compliant. I was afraid that I’d be bumped to a later flight — not good.

Everyone got boarded and there were no seats in coach. Absolutely none. BUT there was a vacant seat in First Class. And so that’s where the flight attendant seated me: in First Class next to a very nice professional golfer. I got free alcohol, a great meal, and good conversation because that woman didn’t go through the official check-in and get a boarding pass.

The flight attendant even called me by my last name! “Ms. [My Last Name], may I get you another drink? Ms. [My Last Name], would you like a pillow? Ms. [My Last Name], how is your meal?” It was awesome!

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I’m flying across the USA from the west coast to the east. It’s a large plane and fairly full. I’m in economy class. I‘m relaxing in an aisle seat when I see a man across the aisle take out some sort of toolkit. My first thought upon seeing it is, “How did he get that past the TSA?” He then begins to disassemble his seat.

Bothered, I stand and turn to him.

Me: “What are you doing?”

Passenger: “I pressed the ‘call stewardess’ button an hour ago, and she has not shown up yet, so I’m going to disassemble the passenger section until she gets here. Maybe that will make her hurry.”

Disturbed by this answer, I started walking forward along the aisle until I found a steward. Maybe it’s sexist, but I had a feeling that I shouldn’t send a woman to confront this man.

The steward jogged energetically to our section and confronted the man.

What followed was an argument about how the man in question had been abusing the usage of the “call stewardess” button and they had stopped responding as a result, and the man insisted that it was bad customer service and that there was nothing wrong with looking so long as he didn’t touch. Eventually, the steward walked away, and the man went right back to disassembling, so I went to fetch the steward again.

The plane wound up making an unscheduled landing in flyover county, and some burly officers escorted the dissembler off of the plane. Then, we had to sit and wait until a maintenance crew could board the plane and put back together what the man had taken apart.

Eventually, we made it to our destination only five hours late.

Last summer, I went on vacation in Greece with my family for a whole month. It was so great to see all of my friends again after a year. I am half Greek and half Dutch, and I have been living in the Netherlands for five years.

Flying back home took a whole day because of connecting flights and such. We booked a whole row of seats for the family and an aisle seat for me. Cue the Greeks who asked me to move one row back and to the opposite side so the wife could sit next to the husband. As they were flying to a foreign country, I was nice, gave up my seat, and went to the aisle seat where the wife had been sitting.

After a while, the couple said:

Couple: “Oh, you have the middle seat.”

I was confused because the wife had been sitting at the aisle.

Me: “That was not the agreement. I want my seat back.”

Couple: “Oh, well, now that we have switched, there’s nothing you can do.”

They grinned and laughed thinking, that they had played me. I was pissed, as was my family, but I noticed that the attendants were shutting the plane doors, so I just smiled and told my family to calm down and that everything would be all right.

This was a three-hour flight, so it wasn’t that short.

After we took off, I was still in an empty row. I had all the space to myself and was comfortably lying over three seats.

The couple noticed and made sour faces.

Couple: “Can you move back to your original seat?”

Me: “Oh, well, now that we have switched, there’s nothing you can do.”

It was amazing to see my whole family and the surrounding seats trying to cover their laughs; even the flight attendants were grinning.

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Back in 1980, my employer always sent us Business Class if we flew and First Class on trains and ferries. I was flying to Asia and was on the way back from the toilet when another passenger jumped up out of his seat and rushed off to find the flight attendant.

At the top of his voice, he started yelling at her.

Passenger: “That woman over there was breastfeeding in business class!”

The woman with her very small baby was being very discreet, and the attendant listened to this and refused to do anything about it.

The man made even more fuss until the chief attendant came back and told him in no uncertain terms that if didn’t like it, he could move into a spare seat in economy and get off at the next stop, which was something like Bombay. In those days of the early 747s, there was a refuelling stop on many long-haul flights.

After the chief attendant left, the passenger walked over and tried to grab the baby out of the mother’s arms!

Fortunately, I was close enough to get hold of the unruly wotsit, and I yelled for the cabin crew, who rapidly appeared and moved the passenger down to a rear seat in economy, despite all his complaining.

In thirty-five years of flying, I never met anyone as bad. He didn’t appear to get back on after the stop.

And the mother asked me to hold the baby while she went to the washroom.

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Breast To Just Support Her