Coached In Difficult People

| AK, USA | Friendly | November 19, 2015

(I am a customer flying alone on a major airline, and am seated next to a high-powered middle-aged couple. They try to order drinks before takeoff, and being refused seems to set their tone for the rest of the flight. They complain to each other for the rest of the boarding process, and ring the stewardess button twice more before cruising altitude to see if they can order drinks. After a third explanation of when drinks will start being served, they try to persuade our flight attendant by sharing all their flying-coach woes. She agrees that it is difficult in coach, but that the drinks cart will come by once the plane levels off. They stare blankly, incredulous at her indifference to their suffering. I stare incredulously at them, because they’ve hardly left this woman alone since we came aboard.)

Man: “You have no idea how uncomfortable these seats are.”

(That is just too ridiculous, I can’t help myself:)

Me: “Uh, I think she does. She works here.”

(They stare at me like they have forgotten I was there.)

Me: “I bet she’d love to have our seats. All they have to sit on are little fold-out things that come out of the wall… when people like you actually let them sit down.”

(Nothing more was said between us for three hours. It was an awkward flight…)

A Very Old Sense Of Direction

| USA | Romantic | October 2, 2015

(My wife and I are flying home from New York, I finished my book and can’t get my phone to link to anything and found a compass in my carry on. Out of boredom, I put it on the tray table.)

Wife: “What’s that?”

Me: “Compass. I found it in the bag; thought I’d watch which direction we’re flying.”

Wife: “Okay, you are officially old if you find that entertaining.”

Your In-Flight Plight

| CA, USA | Related | August 12, 2015

(My sister and I are on a very long international flight. My sister is desperately bored so she puts in her headphones so she can hear the in flight movie. It’s some romantic comedy. After ten minutes, she takes off her headphones.)

Me: “How is it?”

Sister: “Pornos have better dialogue.”

The Mile-Cry Club

| USA | Related | July 13, 2015

(I am seven, and my family is traveling over 4000 miles to visit my mom’s family for the first time.)

Me: “Mom? I feel sick.”

Mom: “You just need some food in your belly. Oh, here’s our meals.”

(The stewardess arrives with our meals, and one whiff is all I need to take before I start to gag.)

Me: “Mom, this is gross. I can’t eat this.”

Mom: “You’ll eat it all! Your dad and I paid for it!”

(I refuse, but Mom makes me eat it ALL. Now I feel REALLY sick. I stumble along when we land to my grandmother’s house, where my mom proudly introduces me to my grandma.)

Mom: “Mom, this is [My Name].”

Grandma: “Well, come closer. Let me have a look at you…”

(I go closer and start throwing up. Someone brings me a bag, while Mom says something about airsickness. She says nothing to me, but on the way back, she doesn’t make me eat that horrible airplane food.)

Kids Can Keep You On Your Toes

| New Zealand | Related | July 3, 2014

(I’m sitting in-between my little sisters who are five and seven. Most of the plane is silent.)

Little Sister #1: “If humans had x-ray vision we wouldn’t need windows. We could just see through the walls!”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “That’s right.”

Little Sister #2: “Yeah. When they design the new humans they should have x-ray vision and make it so that the warm drink can go to your toes.”

Me: *confused* “What?”

Little Sister #2: “You know, when you have a hot drink, like a hot chocolate, and the warmness spreads across your chest? They should make it go down to your toes because they are always cold!”

(This conversation went on for a few minutes and the people in the rows near us all laughed their heads off.)

Page 5/8First...34567...Last