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Petty Karma Is Still Satisfying

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: rduncang | March 20, 2022

My new wife and I recently took a trip to Denver on a plane. I fly often, but not as often as some other people. When I booked the flight, the plane was fairly empty, so I booked the window and aisle seats in the premium economy section right behind first-class seats, leaving the middle seat empty. By the time we actually flew, the flight was nearly full, so I checked the seat chart and noticed someone took the seat between us. No biggie, when we got on the flight, we would just offer the window or aisle seat to whoever booked the middle seat.

Boarding time came and we were in group two, so the pre-boards and group one got to go before us. When it was our turn to board and we got to our seats, there was an older man seating in the window seat. I thought it was kind of a rude move to just take someone else’s seat without asking. Obviously, this guy had flown before since he had pre-boarding status. I let it go since we were going to switch seats anyway.

Soon after the flight took off, the attendant came up to me with a gift bag.

Attendant: “Congratulations on achieving 1K status!”

The gift bag wasn’t for me; it was for the guy that took the window seat without asking. He obviously knew what he was doing and has probably done this before. The guy was looking out the window all through boarding and never turned his head to acknowledge us until the flight attendant came over with the gift bag.

I accepted his gift bag.

Attendant: “Would you like a complimentary drink, as well?”

Of course, I said yes, and I even got a free glass of wine for my wife, too. I glanced at the guy and could see the anger in his eyes. But he didn’t say a thing. A petty win for me over this guy that took the seat that I would have given him, but instead he took it without asking.

Flying High On Karma Clouds

, , , | Right | CREDIT: PatientAdventurous98 | March 19, 2022

This happened when I was a junior in college. I had taken a long weekend trip to Florida with a friend of mine to visit her brother and go to a theme park’s Halloween event. We had an amazing trip, and we were on the plane to head home. This was only my second time with air travel. We didn’t have much when I was growing up, so vacations were not a regular thing, and the ones we took were low-key.

So, there I was, just excited to be flying in my coach seat, waiting to take off. And we kept waiting. It became clear that there was a problem with the plane when the flight attendants started calling various passengers to exit to be placed on different flights, so they’d make their necessary connections.

Eventually, after around forty minutes, it was just my friend and me plus around six other people. And then it was our turn to leave the plane. We were sort of near the end of the group tromping back out into the waiting area. One couple, probably in their mid-fifties, had stormed up ahead of us, and by the time my friend and I emerged from the gate entrance, the rude husband was already berating the pair of attendants, who, to their credit, remained poised and calm.

They tried to reassure him, but he was talking over them.

Man: “This is unacceptable. You had better get me the same seats we had on that flight.”

He had the first row in coach, the one with no seats in front of it and therefore with extra legroom.

By then, the rest of us had gathered around, and the attendants began addressing the whole group, offering reassurances, filling us in that there was a critical problem with the plane (which made me very glad for the change, despite the inconvenience). The rude husband was going off through all of this, and when the attendants left to make arrangements for us all, he and his wife sat there, and he continued his commentary to his poor wife.

Man: “Unacceptable… How dare they… Better have the same seats…”

And so on.

Shortly, the attendants returned, and the man practically rushed them.

Man: “I demand you make this right.”

The attendant smiled

Attendant: “You guys are all set. Sir—”

And she smiled at him specifically.

Attendant: “I’m very happy to tell you that we have a flight leaving shortly, and we were able to give you and your wife the exact same seats as you had booked on the previous flight.”

Man: “I should hope so. That’s the least you can do.”

And he huffily returned to his seat.

Meanwhile, the rest of us were just waiting. The attendant then turned to us and addressed the group.

Attendant: “And I’m happy to let everyone else know that you’ll all be flying first class with us today.”

The man was furious and immediately jumped up again.

Man: “Why aren’t we flying first class?!”

The rest of us just sat there in a state of stunned glee.

Attendant: “I’ve given you your request, sir.”

She didn’t stick around for more abuse.

The wait wasn’t long, and soon my friend and I were boarded into the unicorn, fabled place that is First Class. As a poor air travel newbie, it was like some fantasy land: huge seats, real hot washcloths, and though we were underage and couldn’t partake of The Free Cocktail, we did get to choose from a basket of “Distinctive [Brand]” cookies. And the food! We got a whole meal, which was truly delicious, with real crystal salt and pepper shakers at each place setting and actual metal cutlery.

Meanwhile, the man was irate. My friend and I were in the last row of first class, which only had around eight seats, and we could hear him heaping abuse on the coach attendants.

Man: “Those kids don’t deserve first class! We should’ve gotten those seats. We’re older and we should be respected, not some kids!”

Then, the best part of all happened: the flight attendant in our section overheard the man’s tirade, with language specifically directed at my friend and me: “Who do those kids think they are?!” It was as if we were unworthy of the honor he should have been granted. The attendant shook his head and addressed me and my friend.

Attendant #2: “I’m sorry about that. Let me take care of this for you.”

And he closed the curtain to the coach cabin. The man realized what was happening, which made it even better. I got one last look at his red, irate face before he was gone forever. It was GLORIOUS!

You’ve Seen One Airport, You’ve Seen Them All

, , , , , , , , | Friendly | February 9, 2022

Years ago, I was flying to Florida. As I was walking through the airport in Boston, I saw a family walking single file, each one with their own rolling carry-on bag. The last one was a boy, apparently six or seven years old, and plainly feeling very grown-up.

It turned out they were on my flight. They were a couple of rows ahead of me, and both the boy and I were on the aisle. As soon as the seatbelt light was turned off, he opened his bag. It was full of action figures — you have to bring the essentials.

He was also a very social little guy, so everyone within a couple of rows had met him by the end, so I very easily heard him as we were landing at Miami. He looked out the window, sighed, and said, “Oh, well, back where we started.”

It’s flat, it’s got planes… close enough.

Attend The Tale Of Entitled Mom

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: StarCoveredGalaxy | January 31, 2022

My mom and I were visiting family for the summer, so we had to fly. A woman and her son were seated behind my mom and me on the plane.

I love musicals. The one I’m currently obsessed with is the “Sweeney Todd” movie adaptation because I finally got around to watching it and I loved it! So, of course, I downloaded it for the flight.

I was watching the movie with headphones on, enjoying myself. I had no idea that the little kid behind me was also watching through the gap in the seats.

When Sweeney made his first kill, of course, it was full of blood. And I heard a tiny scream from the kid behind me. The kid’s mother attended to her precious angel and then turned to me.

Woman: “Turn your movie off! It scared my little baby!

Me: “I’m not going to do that. Why was your kid even snooping on my movie in the first place? It’s your job to make sure your kid is occupied enough to not bother other people. I wasn’t disturbing anyone, and I was minding my own business. I’m not going to change my movie on my phone to satisfy your kid.”

Meanwhile, the kid was yelling, “Make her change it, Mommy!” over and over again.

The woman immediately called a flight attendant.

Woman: “This passenger refused to stop watching their ungodly horror movies and was showing them to my kid!”

I rolled my eyes.

Flight Attendant: *To me* “Can you tell me what happened?”

Me: “I was just watching my movie when, suddenly, I noticed that this kid was snooping at my phone from between the seats.”

Flight Attendant: *To the woman* “Ma’am, there’s nothing I can do. I suggest that you give your child an activity to do so he doesn’t see anything he isn’t supposed to be seeing.”

The woman pouted and ended up giving her kid her phone.

Something May Be Too Bright Here, But It’s Not This Lady

, , , | Right | CREDIT: Choonguus | January 30, 2022

I work at an airline and regularly need to take business trips from Houston to Chicago. I usually go on these flights once a week, at least.

I have just boarded my flight and plugged my earbuds in to listen to my favorite podcast. I am minding my own business when a middle-aged woman approaches me, looking unhappy.

Me: “Hello, ma’am. Can I help you?”

Woman: “Yes! Please close your window!”

Me: *Confused* “Why?”

Woman: “Your window is way too bright, and it is disturbing my angel who is napping!”

Almost everyone else has their window open, and her “angel” is playing games on his Nintendo Switch.

Me: “Ma’am, your child is clearly wide awake.”

I plug my earbuds back in. She doesn’t like this one bit.

Woman: “Excuse me!”

She yanks my earbuds out of my ears.

Woman: “Close your window or I’ll call the flight attendants!”

Along comes the flight attendant.

Flight Attendant: “Is there a problem?”

Woman: “Yes! This man is disturbing my sleeping son by having his window open!”

The attendant glances at the kid, who is still playing games.

Flight Attendant: “Ma’am, your kid is awake and playing games. Please go back to your seat or I will have you escorted off when we land.”

The woman was clearly angry but complied. She kept shooting dirty looks at me the entire flight, but luckily, I got off not too long after and was glad I never saw her again.

In this case, the flight attendant’s threat meant that the woman would be escorted off by law enforcement and might be charged with a crime.