(I’m taking orders at a coffee shop.)
Me: “What can I get you today?”
Customer: “Strawberry banana smoothie.”
Me: “What size would you like?”
Customer: “Strawberry banana.”
Me: “Yep, and what size?”
Customer: “Strawberry banana.”
Me: “But what size would you like?”
Customer: “STRAWBERRY BANANA.”
Me: *trying another approach* “Would you like a large or a small?”
Customer: “Medium!”
(It’s promotion changeover day, so I’m making my way around the store removing all of the old price tickets that need to be changed and replacing them with new ones. Some of them have lower prices on them.)
Customer: “How dare you?!”
Me: “Sorry?”
Customer: “How dare you lower these prices? You’re taking money away from this business! Get me your manager, please!”
(I’ve just started on the floor for customer service for a cable company. A customer calls in saying his TV is “muddy”.)
Me: “Sorry, sir, I’m not understanding what is wrong with your TV. Is it pixelated, blue, or fuzzy?”
Customer: “No, it’s muddy.”
(After a few minutes of trying to figure out exactly what he meant by muddy.)
Me: “Sir… do you have mud on your TV?”
Customer: “D*** it! I said it’s muddy. M-U-T-E… MUDDY!”
Me: “Sir, do you see a muddy button on your remote?
Customer: “Yes. ”
Me: “Press the button.”
Customer: “That fixed it. Thank you so much!”
(I work in the kids’ section of a bookstore that also sells toys and games. I notice that a child has caused the entire display to collapse. I find the mother after making sure the child didn’t hurt himself.)
Me: “Hi, are you the mother?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Me: “We ask that you look after your children while in [Store Name]. You need to be with the child and not in another section of the store if they cannot be trusted alone.”
Customer: “But I don’t want to.”
Me: “…excuse me?”
Customer: “I don’t want to look after my child.”
Me: *confused* “Well I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s not my job to raise your child for you.”
Customer: “But I want you to!”
(I am working as a frozen food clerk in a supermarket. I have long hair. As I am stocking, I feel a tug on my ponytail.)
Me: *turning around* “Um, can I help you with something?”
Customer: “No, it’s okay. I just wanted to tug your hair!”
Me: “Uh, okay. Thanks?”
