(This happened about six years ago when I was trying to spend my birthday money on comic books. A girl with a guide dog comes in all dressed up to pass in a resume. She gives it to the owner and smiles softly.)

Girl With Guide Dog: *to owner* “I was hoping you’d be hiring.”

Owner: *takes her resume* “How about you come in Wednesday at two for an interview?”

Girl With Guide Dog: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m hard of hearing. Would you mind facing me when you talk?”

Owner: *gruffly* “Nevermind. There are no openings. We just finished hiring.”

Girl With Guide Dog: *sadly* “Oh… thank you anyway.”

(Having overheard everything, ALL the customers in the store simultaneously left without buying anything. I haven’t been back since!)

(I am ordering at the drive-thru window at a fast food chain.)

Me: “I’d like a number 4 with a Pepsi.”

Employee: “Would you like a drink with that?”

Me: “Yes, a Pepsi.”

Employee: “Well, what would you like?”

Me: “A Pepsi.”

Employee: “What do you want to drink?!”

Me: “A Pepsi!”

Employee: “No, what do you want to… ooohh!”

(Note: our boss speaks English, but is not a native speaker. My coworkers make fun of her accent and I hate it because it is disrespectful and very stupid. We are all native English speakers. This instance has a coworker looking at the work schedule.)

Coworker: *laughing* “Look! [Boss] spelled “Saturday” wrong!”

Me: “She did? How did she spell it?”

Coworker: *still laughing* “S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y!”

Me: “She spelled it that way because that’s how you spell ‘Saturday’.”

Coworker: “Really? No… wait, really?!”

(We have a display of TVs that are tuned into a news channel. The story on the television is about a drug smuggling tunnel underneath the ground that crossed the US & Mexico border. One of my coworkers, who just started working the previous week, is watching it, puzzled.)

Coworker: “I just don’t see what the big deal is about this.”

Me: “You mean besides the fact that they’re smuggling drugs illegally across the border between two countries?”

Coworker: “No, they’re not. It says it’s between Mexico and Texas!”

Me: “Yeah, it is. Mexico’s not part of the United States.”

Coworker: “What are you talking about? Mexico is totally a state!”

Me: “How many states do you think are in the USA?”

Coworker: “57!”

(I am in the drive-in of a well-known fast-food chain. I’m with my family and want to order some burgers.)

Me: “I would like to order five cheeseburgers.”

(I look over at the display, and see that the employee has accidentally put us down for only two cheeseburgers.)

Me: “Excuse me? I see you put down two cheeseburgers, but I’d like to order five.”

Employee: “So, you want one more?”

Me: “No, I would like three more. I want five, and it’s on two now, so we’d like three more.”

Employee: “So, just two more?”

Me: “No, three more.”

(She goes off to verify this with her manager. The manager comes back, types the three in to get us three extra cheeseburgers and leaves again. Unfortunately, at the pick-up window there are only three cheeseburgers in the bag. The employee who took our order is at the window.)

Employee: *confused* “You wanted three cheeseburgers total, right?”

(Luckily the manager got there and gave us all five for free.)