About eight or nine years ago, a man came to our hotel with a young woman on his arm. They’d just come from a local bar and were looking for a room. I took his card and ID and noticed he was already registered. I mentioned this, and he said he needed a separate room. Reserving my judgement of this dillweed, I ran an authorization on his card and checked him in.

About ten minutes later, a woman called from the other room he was registered to. It was his wife, and she was wondering why there was another authorization done on her card. I told her that he booked a separate room. She paused and softly asked if he was alone. I hesitated, debating whether to blow up his infidelity or to respect our guest’s privacy, but my silence answered her question for her.

A few minutes later, he angrily checked out of the other room and had me call for a cab.

I don’t know what happened from there. I do still feel sorry for the wife, but not for the husband. And you think using a joint credit card to book a room for you and your mistress is a bone-headed move? Try doing it while your wife is in another room in the same hotel.

(I work in a small checkpoint building at a campground. It acts as sort of a front desk for the campground. The building being very small, it gets very hot in the summer and has windows on all four sides of it. Three sides for ventilation, with one wicket for serving customers.)

Customer: *pulls up in an RV* “Yeah, I want a campsite for the night.” *holds out cash*

Me: “Sure, we have lots of availability. Can you come around to the front window here? This one is only for fresh air, and I can’t remove the fly screen.”

Customer: “You mean come OUT? Like OUTDOORS?” *gets panicky* “Like, where there are bugs, and dirt, and pollen?!”

Me: “Yeah, I can’t serve anyone through that window. I need you to get out and come around to this one.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I can’t do that! I think I’ll find somewhere else to camp for the night, with less outdoors!” *drives off*

(This happened about six years ago when I was trying to spend my birthday money on comic books. A girl with a guide dog comes in all dressed up to pass in a resume. She gives it to the owner and smiles softly.)

Girl With Guide Dog: *to owner* “I was hoping you’d be hiring.”

Owner: *takes her resume* “How about you come in Wednesday at two for an interview?”

Girl With Guide Dog: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m hard of hearing. Would you mind facing me when you talk?”

Owner: *gruffly* “Nevermind. There are no openings. We just finished hiring.”

Girl With Guide Dog: *sadly* “Oh… thank you anyway.”

(Having overheard everything, ALL the customers in the store simultaneously left without buying anything. I haven’t been back since!)

(My coworker and I are standing in my department talking. An older lady comes up to my coworker.)

Customer: “Where can I find pants?”

Coworker: “I’m not sure, as I’m just a cashier. However, my coworker works in this department, so she can help you.” *motions to me*

Customer: “So you don’t know?”

Coworker: “No, I only work on cash.”

Customer: “So, there’s no one that can help me?”

Coworker: “This girl can help you.” *motions to me again* “She’s worked in this department a long time.”

Customer: “I want you to help me!”

Coworker: “Like I said, I work on cash. She works in this department, so she can help you.”

Customer: “I don’t want HER to help me.”

Coworker: “Well, she’s the only one working in this department today.”

Customer: “I guess no one can help me, then!” *storms off*