Coworker: “Uh-oh, she’s here.”

(One of our regulars has pulled into the drive-thru. This woman is from the rich part of town, and is notoriously difficult.)

Me: “I’m on it.”

(I begin preparing her regular: a small mocha, with four large creams, more hot chocolate than coffee, no whipped cream, and splenda on the side. She also orders a wheat bagel, triple toasted, with double butter. Yes, the whole order is disgusting. The customer places her order and pulls around.)

Coworker: *opening window* “That’ll be $4.55.”

Customer: “Fine. I hope you did it right this time. Last time it was completely disgusting. I don’t know who you have in there, but they have no idea what they’re doing.”

Coworker: “Don’t worry; we have our best employee on it. She always gets it right.”

(This is stretching it, because no one ever gets it right for this woman. She’s one of those people who isn’t happy unless she can send something back. I hand over the food and drink to my coworker. He slips the splenda into a bag with extra napkins and a stir stick and hands everything out to her. When he holds the drink to her, she refuses to touch it.)

Coworker: “Your drink, ma’am?”

Customer: “Excuse me? I’m not touching it like that. I want it double cupped and with a sleeve. I’m not burning my hand.”

(Somehow, my coworker manages to keep a straight face, despite the fact that her drink is cool to the touch because she ordered her SMALL drink with THREE LARGE creams. I silently hand him an extra cup and sleeve, both of which are new additions to her regular order.)

Coworker: “Here you go! I’m sorry about that! Have a nice day!”

(He closes the window and helps start on the next order. We’re all feeling anxious as we watch the timer tick up as the woman roots through her order, refusing to drive away until she’s checked everything. She opens the bag with the splenda and the begins rapping on the window.)

Coworker: “Is there a problem?”

Customer: *screaming* “I ONLY WANTED TWO SPLENDA!”

(She throws the extra splenda and the napkins at him through the window. We’re all stunned. She then sits there and pours the TWO splenda packets into her drink, mixes it, and slowly sips it.)

Customer: “UGH. This is disgusting.”

Coworker: “We can remake it for you, if you want—”

Customer: “No, I think you’ve wasted enough of my time!”

(She peels off. In total, she sat at our drive-thru window for five minutes during our rush. She, of course, came back everyday for her “disgusting” drink.)

Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]; can I take your order please?”

(The customer asks for an item from the promotion that finished last week.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; that promotion has finished.”

Customer: “I want a [finished promotion item], like on the TV.”

Me: “We do not have that item anymore I’m afraid.”

(The customer once again demands the item, saying it slowly and separates the words like I don’t understand what he has asked for. Again, I tell him that the item is no longer on the menu, and he proceeds to ask me for it another three times.)

Me: “Sir, the burger you’re requesting is no longer available. We now have [new promotional item] instead. Would you like one of those?”

Customer: “No! Listen to me woman: I want a [ended promotion item]! If you can’t do your job, get someone who can on the line! Stupid f****** b****!”

(My manager has walked in to see what the hold up is. He is also wearing a headset, and has heard everything. He waves his hand at me to turn my microphone off, and he takes over.)

Manager: “Sir, the item you are requesting is no longer available; instead, we have [new promo item].”

Customer: “Why is this so hard to f*****g understand!? I want a [ended promo item]! I want it as a large meal with a chocolate milkshake!”

Manager: “That item is no longer available.”

Customer: “Then why are you still f****** advertising it on the TV!?”

Manager: “We’re not, sir.”

(The customer huffs loudly after shouting several curse words at my manager, speeding past the drive thru window with his middle finger up. I’m shaking from stress, and on the verge of tears. I don’t deal with immense pressure very well, so my manager lets me go on a break. I return to the window after my break. After a few cars, the same customer from before drives up again. Reluctant to deal with him, I call over my manager, who takes the microphone.)

Manager: “Welcome to [store name].”

(The customer looks very shaken on the camera.)

Customer: “Ey er… is that girl I was talking to still there?”

Manager: “Yes she is here next to me; why do you ask?”

Customer: “Can you put her on the microphone, please?”

(My manager looks at me, and I nod a little, activating my microphone.)

Me: “Yes, what would you like, sir?”

Customer: “Listen, I’m so sorry about earlier. It turns out I was watching a pre-recorded TV show. Can I have [order], and add a large meal on top for yourself and your boss; I’ll pay for it!”