Wipe That Smirk If You Swipe At Work

| Scranton, PA, USA | Working | October 17, 2012

(My mom and I are in line to pay our cellphone bill at a mall kiosk. It’s not actually owned by our cellphone provider, but is a company licensed to sell their services and accept bill payments. There are three men in their early 20s working. We’re standing in line when we see this exchange.)

Female Customer: “I was here last week to pay my bill, but the phone company keeps sending me texts that say they haven’t received my payment.”

Employee #1: “Did you get a receipt after you paid?”

Female Customer: “I don’t think so, but I know I paid it here. I even think he was working…” *points to Employee 2*

Employee #2: *smirks and rolls his eyes* “You don’t look familiar. Are you sure you paid here?”

Female Customer: “Of course I paid here! I work at [store at the mall] and came on my break to pay my bill.”

Employee #3: *smirking* “We can’t help you. Sorry.”

(The female customer is visibly upset and decides to just walk away. My mom and I walk up. Note that I’m in my 20s but look much younger than my age.)

Employee #1: *to my mom* “Hey ma’am! Can I interest you in one of our new Android phones?”

Me: “Actually, I just wanted to pay my phone bill.”

Employee #1: *still to my mom* “Oh, you need to pay your bill?”

My Mom: “No, my daughter needs to pay her bill.”

Employee #1: *condescending* “You know, we REALLY aren’t supposed to pay bills for people who got their phones from the company proper and not through us. I see you’re due for an upgrade. How about asking mommy to buy you one of our new Android phones so you can pay here without an issue?”

Me: “Look, dude. I’m happy with the phone I have now. I don’t want a new one. I know I can pay my bill through any of your company’s kiosks without any trouble so if you wouldn’t mind dropping the attitude and doing your job I’d greatly appreciate it.”

Employee #2: “Wow, attitude!”

Employee #1: “Your bill is $95.50.”

Me: *hand him my card*

Employee #1: “Oopsie! It seems we’ve accidentally charged you $950.00! Don’t worry, it’s just an error.”

Me: “I know you’re joking, but just give me my receipt so I can sign and get out of here, please?”

Employee #2: “Well, excuse us for trying to make jokes! Are you always this rude with people?”

(I sign and take my receipt which, thankfully, shows I was charged the correct amount. As we’re walking away my mom speaks up.)

My Mom: “Don’t think I won’t be calling your corporate offices about how you treated my daughter and that woman before us today. You’re lucky my daughter has arthritis, otherwise she’d kick your a**es!”

Me: “Mom!”

(My mom did end up calling corporate to complain, which is a good thing: a week later, I ran into the same female customer at a grocery store. It turns out the employees had stolen a number of payments from customers and that their store manager was even in on it. The company ended up firing everyone who worked at that branch.)

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Do You Not Have A Job?

| Working | October 16, 2012

Newton’s Laws Of Promotion

| Long Beach, CA, USA | Working | October 16, 2012

(I am a senior physics major at the local university and have been working the same retail job since I was 16 (a little over 5 years). This particular encounter happens as I am working in the back stockroom.)


(Note: I am on top of a 10 foot ladder with a box that is easily 3/4 as tall as me. There’s no way to get the box down safely.)

Me: “Don’t worry. It’s not going to break. They’re shoes, and even so, I was just going to drop it, not throw it, which means that the acceleration is only due to gravity at 9.8 m/s^2 . I’m only up about 3 meters, so knowing F=m*a, the force isn’t going to be large enough to even dent the box, let alone damage the contents!)

(The manager was quiet after that, and I got my work done.)

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Technology Leads To Periods Of Confusion

| West Virginia, USA | Working | October 16, 2012

(I call my doctor’s office about getting some paperwork.)

Receptionist: “Yes, we can get the papers for you. When will you be in to pick them up?”

Me: “Could you just scan them and email them to me? That would be easier.”

Receptionist: “Sure, what’s your email address?”

Me: “It’s [my first name] dot [my last name] at yahoo dot com.”

Receptionist: “Okay, I’ll send those right away…”

(About 24 hours pass and no email. I call back the next day and get the same receptionist.)

Me: “Hi, my name is [name]. I called yesterday about getting some paperwork emailed to me, but I haven’t gotten it yet.”

Receptionist: “Hmm, that’s odd. I sent it yesterday.”

Me: “Just to double check, you have my email address as [first name] period [last name] at yahoo dot com, right?”

Receptionist: “Oh, you said [first name] DOT [last name], so I was writing the word ‘dot!'”

Longing For When Thongs Weren’t Wrong

| Pensacola, FL, USA | Working | October 16, 2012

(I’m at a beach supply store shopping with my grandpa and little brother.)

My Grandpa: “Excuse me, young man, could you by chance point me to the children’s thongs, please?”

Cashier: *horrified* “W-WE DONT SELL THOSE HERE!”

My Grandpa: “Really? Well, that’s quite odd. It’s usually fairly easy to find them in stores. See, I need some for my grandson.” *motions to my little brother*

My Brother: “Yeah, grandpa broke my last pair yesterday putting ’em on me, so—”

Cashier: “YOU TWO ARE SICK!” *runs away, while pointing back at them yelling*

My Grandpa: “What the f*** just happened?!”

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