A Thousand Reasons To Kick You Out Right Now

, , , , , | Romantic | May 13, 2018

(I work in a casino in Las Vegas, a city famous for its casinos… and prostitutes. A guy walks up with a group of friends and starts talking to me. He says I am beautiful, asks what my sign is, and informs me that he “won big at the casino and is moving to Vegas.” I am unimpressed.)

Me: “Winning big can mean many things. One thousand dollars is winning big.”

Guy: *laughs* “Would a thousand dollars change your life?”

(I ponder my upcoming phone bill, and rent, and union dues, so, yes, a thousand dollars would change my life for about a month.)

Guy: “If I gave you a thousand dollars, could I f*** you?”

Me: “I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE!” *walks away*

(He tried to apologize, and his friends told him to just leave me alone. He claimed I “misunderstood.” No, I understood, and I am not for sale!)

Some Father Lessons Can Be A Gamble

, , , , , , | Related | March 16, 2018

(Once I am legally able to gamble, my dad takes me to a Las Vegas casino so I can try it out.)

Dad: “Here’s how they get you and you lose your money. Say you use a quarter on the slots.”

(I put a quarter in and I get a few spins for it. I win $0.50.)

Me: “You call this losing?”

Dad: “No, no, watch. Try again.”

(I reuse the $0.50 on more spins. I win $1. He continues to try to show me how I’ll lose my money on the slots, with me adding smart aleck comments, as my winnings jump to $3, then $5.)

Me: “Boy howdy, you sure do know how to teach me the ways in which slot machines will s*** me over.”

Dad: “It seems that way, but winning and losing can come in streaks. And the losing is what eats up your money. Just keep trying.”

(Long story short, the slot machine continues to grant me little winnings in chump change. I finally call a stop when I have about $25, and cash it out.)

Dad: “Fine, so, that machine was out to prove me wrong. Let’s try a different game.”

(We went to the Keno counter and got a ticket each. Dad lost. I won a few hundred dollars. We tried blackjack, and I won a number of rounds there, too. That trip became a family legend, as I left with roughly $2,500 in winnings from Dad’s attempt to show me how someone can “lose all their money.” I do know that gambling can be an addiction, and that it can break somebody very easily, but that one day the entire casino seemed to conspire to troll my father!)

Treat It Like A Boss

, , , | Right | March 14, 2018

(It is a busy Friday night, right after I’ve turned 20. My family and I have just moved to a small gambling town for job prospects about a month prior. A pair of brothers own about half the town, including the casino I am hired onto about a week after moving in. Due to my ability to deal with rude and borderline belligerent, drunk people and my sunshine personality, I am assigned to cashiering at one of the buffets on the nights and weekends. In my first several days of training, it is stressed to me that I must ask for ID from every customer, every time, if they make a credit or player’s card purchase, even if I know them.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I have [number] adults and [number] children. Your total is [amount], please.”

Guest: “Sure, no problem.” *hands me credit card*

Me: “Thank you, sir. Now I just need to check your ID real quick, please, and we’ll have you on your way.”

Guest: “Seriously?”

Me: “Yes, sir. This is as much for your protection as the casino’s.”

Guest: *looks at me incredulously* “Do you have any idea who I am?”

Me: *smiles wide, and calls on all the high school theater I can muster* “No, sir.” *leans in and drops to a conspiratorial tone* “Do you know who I am?”

Guest: *stops, confused* “Well, no.”

Me: *grins again, straightens up* “Great! So, we’re even! ID, please.”

(The guest continues to look at me like I’ve grown a second head while I compare his name and ID… and realize his name is the same as one of the brothers who owns my casino.)

Me: “Oh, dear sweet baby Jesus.”

(The owner started howling with laughter, and refused to accept my apologies, stating that while I “probably should know who my bosses are” he was glad to know that his assets were so hilariously guarded by smart-aleck cashiers.)

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If It Ain’t Broke, Go To Lunch

, , , , | Working | March 9, 2018

(I work at a casino, and currently I’m working at the cashier cage. Each cage has only one of my position at any time, so break times aren’t usually important, since nobody ever needs to cover me. Because of this, I usually take my lunch pretty late in my shift. One day I get called into the office by my manager, who tells me that I need to take my lunch exactly four hours into my shift, since my late lunches are disrupting everyone else. I agree and go back to work. However, the very next day, I call to go to my lunch right on time, getting the same manager.)

Me: “Hey, I’m going to take my lunch.”

Manager: “Oh, can you wait 20 minutes? We’re busy over here, and can’t send someone else over there.”

Me: “What? Nobody needs to cover me, and you just yelled at me for taking my lunch late.”

Manager: “Well, I still need you to wait. Call back in 20 minutes!” *hangs up*

(I wound up waiting almost two hours to take my lunch, which was the time I was taking them before. After that, I just kept taking my lunches at the same time, and my manager never said another word.)

Doesn’t Understand How Money Works

, , , , , | Right | September 21, 2017

(I’m working the third shift. The phone rings and my coworker answers it. As I’m stocking items, my coworker waves me over to the counter and hands me the phone.)

Me: *thinking it is a family member* “Hello?”

Guest: “Hello?”

Me: “This is the gift shop. How can I help you?”

Guest: “Yes, I’m waiting in line to get food right now, but we were just in there about two hours ago. I had a comp from the Player’s Club I wanted to use, and then pay the difference off with my card, but when I checked my bank account, my card had been charged the full amount.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that! Are you still here? If so, you can come back and I can fix that up for you.”

Guest: “No, that won’t be possible. I’m about an hour away now. I’m in line for a buffet, but I don’t even know if we have enough to even get something to eat now.”

Me: *not sure what she wants me to do* “So, what are you asking for, ma’am?”

Guest: “Can I get a refund?”

Me: “Not without the card physically in my hands, ma’am. I can take your comp back to the Player’s Club so it won’t go to waste if you’d like?”

Guest: “That won’t help my bank account!”

Me: “No, but it’s still worth over $20 in points, and I’d hate for you to be out of those points.”

Guest: “Is there anyone else there I can talk to?”

Me: “I’m sorry. It’s just me and my coworker. If you don’t mind, I could consult with my managers to see if we can fix something for you?”

Guest: “Please do! We’re in line and I’m still on the phone with my bank trying to fix things.”

Me: “All right, and again, I’m sorry. I’ll call you back soon.” *we both hang up and I go to call my manager*

Coworker: *interrupts me from calling* “Hold on; let me tell you what happened. This lady had a big family, and they just started piling stuff on the counter. They didn’t tell me they had a comp and I rung up the sale and cashed them out, okay? After they left, I found their comp folded up on the edge of the counter!”

Me: “Let me call [Manager] first and see what she says.”

(I call and she confirms what I already suspected; I can’t do a refund without the card physically present. But then, she caves in and says she will let me do the transaction over the phone, which is against policy. Of course, it will take a few business days for the money to go back into the guest’s account, so it won’t help her immediately, but she will definitely be getting the money back. I call the woman back.)

Me: “I spoke with my manager, and she said if you feel comfortable giving me your card number, I can redo the transaction over the phone, correcting it for you.”

Guest: “Oh, well, my bank is taking care of it for me.”

Me: *confused* “Your bank is taking care of it?”

Guest: “I think so.”

Me: “So, you’re sure your bank will reimburse you this money?”

Guest: “Yes.”

Me: “So, you don’t want the refund?”

Guest: “No. Well, the bank is taking care of it. I mean, I could still give you my number I guess, but everything should be fine now.”

Me: “If you say so, ma’am. I’m glad we could settle things for you.”

Guest: “Thank you!” *hangs up*

(I immediately run the forgotten comp slip back to the Player’s Club to be deposited back into the guest’s account, then jump back on the phone with my boss, relaying everything the guest told me.)

Manager: “…she what?!”

Me: “Yeah, she kept saying her bank was going to fix it. But the only way I could think of the bank fixing it is…”

Manager: “She’s trying to dispute the charge! Do you still have her number?”

Me: “Yep, right here.”

Manager: “Save it; I’ll call her in the morning.”

Me: “Careful, she’s f***ing nuts.”

Manager: “She must be!”

Me: *looks to my coworker* “She doesn’t want the refund, but she calls complaining she needs the refund that can’t help her out today anyway, gambles away her money, and says her family doesn’t have nearly enough to eat on.”

Coworker: “Then why the hell did they come to the casino in the first place?!”

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