What’s That Saying About A Fool And His Money?

, , , , , , | Legal | February 25, 2021

One day at our Tribal Casino, an Idiot Guest discovered he had to go visit the restroom. In a stroke of absolute brilliance, he flagged down a lady to watch his machine. [Idiot Guest] is so named because instead of asking staff, who wear a very obvious staff uniform, he asked a complete stranger to watch a machine that had $600 of his own money on it.

Can you guess what happened? If you guessed that she cashed it out onto a ticket and left, you get a cookie!

There was a whole fiasco. The floor manager told him that he was an idiot. Security told him that he was an idiot. The cage girl told him that he was an idiot. Thus, his name was coined.

They reprinted his ticket after checking the cameras to verify that it was stolen, he got his money, and all was well. Personally, I think they should have let [Idiot Guest] learn the expensive lesson the hard way… but wishful thinking is wishful.

In any case, the plot spun on its axis. Guess what happened next?! If you guessed that our Thieving Lady came back, here’s another cookie!

Not even four freaking hours later, she sauntered in with the ticket to cash it out! That’s right! She took the ticket out but left without cashing out the money right away! So now she had a paid out ticket, with staff still on duty who remember the fiasco that came from this.

In short, the cage girl realized that the ticket had already been paid out and realized who [Thieving Lady] was. The Tribal Police were promptly called.

This woman’s picture is now up in every casino owned by the nation, and she is no longer a “valued guest.” Simple terms? She’s banned from our casinos for life!

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Speaking Good Fortune Into Being

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: viodox0259 | February 15, 2021

I work in a casino. One of the tables that we’ve had for a couple of years has a progressive jackpot that has reached $100,000. The dealer at the table is pretty lonely. Nobody really plays the game because people know it is extremely difficult to win the jackpot. My memory is a tad foggy, but you somehow needed to flop the royal flush.

This young guy sits down and talks to the dealer.

Player: “[Dealer], if you pay me that jackpot, I will tip you $10,000.”

[Dealer] started dealing, and about a half-hour into his shift, he f****** did it. He dealt the young guy the royal. And you know something? This young lad kept his word, and he made sure there was an audience, and he tipped exactly $10,000. That was a moment right there.

The moment that jackpot was awarded, they got rid of the table because the money it was making was not near what the casino wanted. I’m sure there have been bigger tips at other casinos, but that was something special.


This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for February 2021!

Read the next Feel Good roundup for February 2021 story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for February 2021!

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Flush With Coffee

, , , | Right | January 20, 2021

I’m a casino table games dealer. I was dealing four-card poker. The lady on my first seat had a really good hand going for her. When I flipped over the second-to-last card, she took a drink of coffee and then looked down, and when she saw it was the card she needed, she choked herself out of excitement and spit out her coffee… all over the felt table, the cards, the chip rack, and my arm.

Of course, I was not allowed to move because of strict security measures, and there was a game that still needs to be paid out in progress, so I hollered out to my floor manager.

She looked over at me and just kind of glared off into the distance until she realized what had happened and saw me covered in coffee. I had preemptively dealt this lady a straight flush, which apparently excited her. I mean, to be fair, this does pay quite a lot in four-card, especially when you bet the side bets, as well.

I had to stand there literally frozen in place for what felt like thirty minutes as my pit manager and security took the cards to dispose of them properly. They had to take everyone’s chips and issued them redemption slips, as they couldn’t leave the table because they were contaminated.

They had to make sure everything was in the proper order following safety and security protocols. Coffee was all over my arm, and I was just staring off into the distance. The table had to be properly closed and everything had to be properly accounted for before I could leave to go clean up. I had to fill out an incident report to remove liability of assault, as well as track if I did get sick from it.

I still don’t even know if that lady ever got paid for the hand because the hand had not been — nor could have been — completed.

To this day, my friends who still work there still haze me about my “orientation.”

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And That’s Why Socks Are Banned At Work

, , , , | Working | CREDIT: viodox0259 | January 16, 2021

I work in a casino. One of my friends who I haven’t seen in years ended up being part of the crew. It was kind of nice to catch up. We never really got along as we grew up because he has a very high picture of himself. He wanted that 10/10 woman, a mansion, and a new Corvette.

Every month or so, we would all go up to another casino to play. I would bring no more than $500, but I couldn’t understand how this guy was spending thousands of dollars at the tables. This went on for a few months.

Well, one day, as we were closing the casino, he and I were in the High Limit room getting ready to close the tables. We were told to take the chips out, count them, put them back, sign this piece of paper, and that was it. As the supervisor was locking the tray, the piece of paper fell to the floor, so she asked [Friend] to grab it.

As he bent over, a great big $500 chip fell right out of his sock. [Friend] was fired immediately, but suddenly, his spending all made sense.

They offered [Friend] a deal that if he replaced all the stolen chips, they would not make it public. Not sure how that turned out.

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It’s Hard To Be On Top (Knot)

, , , | Right | CREDIT: viodox0259 | January 9, 2021

I work in a casino. I have this regular player — a young guy who was born into a fortune. One of his relatives passed away and left him a pretty sizable amount of money, so he has decided played poker every single day for the rest of his days. He is a good player. I do not enjoy his company just because of the “Know-it-All” attitude, but he is good.

[Regular] is 5’10” and well-built, with muscle. He decided today was the day to show off his top knot hairstyle. He sits down and soon he’s absolutely killing the table — hand, after hand, after hand. And because he’s in such a good mood, he’s playing any two cards, calling any $500 bet, and he’s just dominating.

This one guy at the table decides he’s had enough. He gets up without saying a word and leaves. A moment later, he comes back in, walks behind [Regular], pulls out a pair of scissors, and cuts off his top knot.

I couldn’t believe it. I was dying laughing inside, and it just turned into one big brawl. That was a good day.

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