(Please note, I am hearing impaired.)

Customer: “Hello. Do you have any [Brand] perfume?”

Me: “No, we don’t.”

Customer: “But… but… I want it!”

Me: “You could try one of the outlet stores. Currently, this store does not carry it.”

Customer: “Why don’t you call the store in Bellingham?”

Me: “I could check online for you to see if we have it in stock in Bellingham, but the stores do not carry it.”

Customer: *shouting* “Call the f****** store!”

Me: “I’m hearing impaired. I cannot talk on the phone.”

Customer: “Just f****** call them!”

(I proceed to call the store, but because I cannot hear I am constantly asking the person on the other end to repeat what they are saying.)

Customer: “What are you, deaf?!”

Me: “Yes, actually.”

(Pause.)

Customer: “Oh.”

This story is part of our Bad-Listener Customers roundup!

Read the next Bad-Listener Customers roundup story!

Read the Bad-Listener Customers roundup!

Caller: “Hi, I saw a car online and wanted some info on it.”

Me: “Sure, let me tell you all about it. Do you have a pen?”

Caller: “Yeah, 4351.”

Me: “What’s that?”

Caller: “My PIN.”

Me: “To your bank account?!”

This story is part of the Customers-Causing-Recessions roundup!

Read the next Customers-Causing-Recessions roundup story!

Read the Customers-Causing-Recessions roundup!

(We serve a limited number of coffee drinks made automatically by machine.)

Customer: “I’d like a hazelnut latte, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have other flavors. I can give you a regular latte.”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “Just a regular latte.”

Customer: “What does it taste like?”

Me: “It’s just coffee and milk.”

Customer: “Oh. I’ve never tried that! Maybe I should.”

Did you find this story using our World Milk Day roundup?

Click here to get to the next story!

Click here to get back to the roundup!

(The night previous we had a customer shoplift about $300 worth of merchandise while I was on shift. Thankfully, while she did get away with quite a bit, she escaped with only one boot of a pair, as I had removed the second boot, with ink tag intact, pending acceptance of her check.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. What can we help you find today?”

Caller: “Hi! I was at your store last night and the lady that helped me shorted us a shoe!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. What style was it?”

Caller: “A [Brand]. It was the right shoe. She was going to take the tag off and never did! I live far away, so do you think you could transfer it to the [Different Location] store?”

Me: “I don’t believe that would be feasible as we don’t have a way to get it to that store, but we might be able to mail it to you! Can I get your name, phone number, and address?”

Caller: “Sure. It is [Name, number, and address].”

(I got off the phone looking like the Cheshire Cat. The thief had just given her full name, phone number, and address.)

(I’m in the restroom while on duty in uniform. I walk in the door.)

Customer: *startled* “Oh!”

Me: “Sorry, excuse me.”

Customer: “You people use the bathroom, too?”

Me: “Yes. We only have the one, so everyone uses the same one.”

Customer: “I guess I never thought of you as real people.”

This story is part of our customer treating staff less-than-human roundup!

Read the next story in this roundup!

Read the customer treating staff less-than-human roundup!