I work as a drive-thru and front counter packer at a fried chicken place. During summer, it is extremely busy and the store is full of people. We have understaffed our cooks so we occasionally run out of some chicken items like tenders, chicken fillets, etc.

Customer: “Hi. I’d like a large zinger box, please.”

Me: “Sure, was that all?”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s fine, thanks.”

About five minutes pass. and now he and several other customers are waiting for food. I am told that there will be a ten-minute wait on the chicken fillet for his burger, but I have already made the rest of the meal, so I decide to compromise.

Me: “Hi, sir, I’m really sorry, but I’ve just been told we’ve run out of the fillets for your burger and it’s going to be a ten-minute wait. As you can see, we are really busy, so if it helps I can give you the rest of your food while you wait?”

The customer sighs but seems understanding.

Customer: “Yeah, no worries; that’s fine. I’ll just have the rest of my food now.”

I hand him his food and he sits down and eats it while he waits. Ten minutes later:

Me: “Hi, I’m so, so sorry about the wait, but here is your burger.”

The customer is suddenly in a full fit of rage.

Customer: “THIS IS F****** UNBELIEVABLE! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR TEN WHOLE F****** MINUTES! LEARN TO DO YOUR JOB! YOU’RE WORTHLESS!”

He then slams the burger on the floor amidst all the customers, stomps on it so it goes everywhere, picks up the remainders, and throws it all at me behind the counter.

Customer: “CLEAN THAT, YOU STUPID C***!”

Me: “At least I didn’t spend $13 and wait fifteen minutes to throw my food on the floor like a child.”

He could’ve just gotten a refund! Thankfully, he then stormed out of the store.

Related:
The Chicken Is Done, And So Am I

I work as a packer at a fast food chain. A couple has come through the drive-thru with a massive order that comes in boxes so they won’t need a bag.

Me: “Hi, here are the meals!”

I begin handing out four boxes of food.

Me: “All right, there you are. Have a nice day!”

The customer looks at me, shocked and confused.

Customer: *Getting frustrated* “Um… no. I want a bag for the food. Are you serious?”

Me: “Oh, I’m really sorry, but we don’t actually have bags that big to fit the boxes of food.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous; you’re lying to me.”

I go and get the biggest bag we have, which is too narrow to fit the boxes.

Me: “This is the largest size, sorry. Unless you maybe change the way you put the boxes in it?”

Customer: “You’re literally no help! Have fun getting a complaint, honey; then maybe you’ll do something about the bag sizes for next time.”

She threw her food in the back seat, wound up the window, and zoomed off.

Related:
Thinking Outside The Box, Part 5
Thinking Outside The Box, Part 4
Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3
Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2
Thinking Outside The Box

I have worked at a movie theatre for the last few years. In that time, there have been fairly obscurely-named releases, but nothing that I would say was TOO difficult. We have a large LED screen on the wall behind our ticket box, displaying the movies playing and corresponding session times. Due to the large number of movies playing at this time, occasionally there are two “pages” of sessions, meaning that the sign will change every thirty seconds.

Me: “Hi! How are you?”

Customer: “I’m great, thanks. I’d like to see the movie above your head.”

I turn to look at the screen.

Me: “I’m sorry, there are more than a handful listed. Which one were you referring to?”

Customer: “Oh, for f***’s sake; it just changed. Can’t you just do your job and sell me the d*** ticket?”

Me: “Well, no. I apologise but I’m not a psychic. You have to tell me the name of the movie you wish to see. I’m more than happy to give you a quick description of the films we currently have playing so you can figure out which one it—”

Customer: “NO! I demand to see your manager.”

Me: “Actually, I’m the one in charge right now, and honestly, I don’t see the need for a manager to intervene. All I need to do is sell you your ticket and direct you to one of our theatres.”

Customer: “It’s one of those movies about the miserable lesbians.”

Me: *Stifling laughter* “I’m sorry, we don’t have a movie about miserable lesbians.”

Customer: “You would know, wouldn’t you?”

Me: “Well, yes, I would. I’ve worked here for years and run the ticket box and the candy bar section, and if needed, I work on the floor, too. I don’t think that I would have missed a movie about miserable lesbians. Besides, if there was one, I would have taken my girlfriend to see it with me.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “It’d probably be titled, The Life And Times Of [My Name]. Maybe starring Katherine Moennig or Jodie Foster.”

Customer: “You’re one of them?“

Me: “Look, I’m just trying to lighten the mood. Now, which movie was it you were after?”

Customer: “THE F****** MISERABLE LESBIANS ONE!”

Me: “Wait. Do you mean Les Misérables?”

Customer: “That’s not how you say it! You’re wrong.”

Me: “I assure you, it is. It’s French. It’s based on a French novel written in the 1800s, and the film adaptation still uses the same name.”

Customer: “I know what it’s called. Some of us are more culturally involved than others.”

Me: “Sure. Well, let me just process your ticket and—”

Customer: *while storming out* “No. I don’t want to see some French homosexual s***.”

Me: “Okay. Have a nice day!”

On that note, I think they should make a movie about miserable lesbians. I would happily play the main character.

I’m a barista and shop assistant in a French chocolaterie. Pretty much everything in the shop is chocolate.

Customer: “I’d like to buy half a brownie, please.”

Me: “Half a brownie? You mean, paying half the price?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you. So that’ll be [amount]?”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, we don’t sell them by halves.”

Customer: “But I only want half! Why should I pay for half a brownie I don’t want?”

Me: “Well, we won’t be able to sell the other half, you see, so we’d be losing money. I can cut the brownie in half for you and put half in a separate bag for you to keep for later, but you’ll need to pay full price.”

Customer: *Aggressively* “Aren’t you listening? I only want half. Are you trying to make me fat?”

Me: “Er, no. Look, if you like, I can cut the brownie in half for you, and then you can throw the other half away! You don’t actually have to eat the other half. That is entirely up to you. But you’ll need to pay full price.”

Customer: “I won’t be able to not eat it if I have it! I only want half! You should be ashamed of yourself. Don’t you know that it’s people like you that are causing the obesity crisis in this country?”

The customer purchases a whole brownie and storms off in a huff.

Me: “Enjoy!”

This story is part of the Coffee Shop roundup!

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Customer: “Hi, can you tell me how to get to the bridge to Vancouver?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there is no bridge to Vancouver.”

Customer: “Well, that’s impossible; I came over on a bridge!”

Me: “The only way to get on the island is to travel by ferry or plane. I promise there is no bridge to Vancouver.”

Customer: “This is terrible service!”

She hasn’t purchased anything.

Customer: “I can’t believe someone that lives here doesn’t know where the bridge is!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t know about a bridge to Vancouver.”

The customer storms out. A few minutes later, the guy working in the store next door comes in on his break and starts telling me about this unbelievable idiot he just had. I interrupt, asking if it was the bridge lady. Sure was!

Customer: “How do I get to the bridge to Vancouver?”

Coworker: “There is no bridge to Vancouver, ma’am.”

Customer: “YES. THERE. IS! I swear I came over on a bridge! How does no one know about it? It was called the Johnson bridge?”

Coworker: “OH! Do you mean the Johnson Street bridge? That’s close to here, but it doesn’t go to Vancouver, just to a suburb of Victoria.”

Customer: “YES! That’s the bridge to Vancouver! The Johnson Street Bridge! How do I get there?”

Coworker: *Gives up* “Turn left at the next lights and stay left; you can’t miss it.”

The customer leaves.

Coworker: “Have a great time in Esquimalt!”