Enough To Make You Foam At The Mouth

, , , , , , | Right | November 1, 2017

(I am working at a coffee shop. We are a popular place for people to go before they start their commute to work and, as such, we’re always slammed in the morning. This morning is no different, with a line out the door. We have three registers open, but the drinks still funnel to the one person making drinks, so wait times can be rather long. I am at a register ringing people up.)

Me: “Can I help the next customer?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like a large, non-fat, bone-dry cappuccino.”

Me: “All right, a large, non-fat, bone-dry cappuccino. Just to make sure I understand you properly, you want two shots of espresso and a cup full of non-fat foam?”

Customer: “I said, ‘bone-dry,’ didn’t I?”

Me: “Just making sure. Your total is [amount], and your drink will come up over on the counter. Can I please get a name for the cup?”

(The customer gives me her name, pays, and moves over to wait for her drink. I ring up a few more customers before my manager comes over and asks me to take over for the person at the bar, as they need a break. I move over and start making drinks. I eventually get to the bone-dry cappuccino. One thing to know about non-fat milk is it doesn’t make great foam. It takes a lot of time, patience, and skill to get 20 ounces of usable foam. I end up steaming two pitchers of milk to get enough foam for her drink. I am newer at the time and don’t have all that much skill yet. I finish the drink and hand it out.)

Me: “I have a large, bone-dry cappuccino for [Customer].”

(The customer comes over and picks up the drink.)

Customer: “What is this? It’s empty!”

Me: “It is your bone-dry cappuccino; it is not empty.”

(The customer takes off the lid and looks in.)

Customer: “This is nothing but foam! Why would I want a cup of foam? I asked for a hot chocolate! How hard is that to get right?!”

(I put on my upset customer smile.)

Me: “I’m very sorry about that. I can remake it for you.”

(I take back the drink, make a hot chocolate and hand it out a minute later.)

Me: “Here you are, one large hot chocolate. I hope you enjoy your day!”

(The customer takes a sip of the drink.)

Customer: “This has milk in it, and I don’t taste any coffee! I’m lactose intolerant; are you trying to kill me?!”

Me: “Ma’am, you ordered a non-fat cappuccino and then decided you wanted a hot chocolate. At no point did you ask for something with soy, which is our only non-dairy option. Did you want a soy latte?”

Customer: *shouting* “No! I don’t drink soy! It makes you into a f****** [homophobic slur]. All I asked for was a large black coffee, and you are too stupid and slow to figure out how to make one. I’ve been waiting 20 minutes for a black coffee! How incompetent are you?!”

(At this point the entire cafe is silently staring at this woman. I walk over, get a coffee, and put it down on the counter in a controlled manner.)

Me: *in a very measured tone* “I hope you have a wonderful day.”

(The customer looks at me and then at everyone else. She looks like she wants to say something. After a minute she finally takes the coffee and flounces out.)

Manager: “I’m going to take over for you. Why don’t you go into the walk-in for a few minutes. Just so you know, it is sound proof.”

(And I did, and it was sound proof.)

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