I once worked at a veterinarian’s office as a receptionist. One of the receptionist’s duties was to drag a large hanging sandwich-style sign across the building, across the parking lot, and up a hill and position it by the road. When we closed, we were to drag it back down the hill, across the parking lot, and back into the building, where we were supposed to clean it and put it away for the night.

Though made of plastic, this sign weighed quite a bit, and though it had wheels on one side, there was no way to really steady it when going uphill, especially when the wind kicked up.

I worked there for a very brief period one winter. My first write-up was for not putting the sign out by the road on my first morning opening. I hadn’t been told it existed, so I hadn’t known to do it. My write-up was excused.

I soon learned that every worker tried their best to not take the sign outside in the winter because its incredibly clumsy design would cause it to flap around wildly in the wind. When the hillside was icy, the sign would often get away from you and go tearing off toward a customer’s parked car. Several times, I slipped, fell, and skidded across the parking lot trying to wrassle the sign down the hill at night.

The entire reception staff had bruises and cuts from the sign. One person had a large slash across her neck from where she got tangled in the sign as they fell down the hill. I sliced open a finger on the sharp edge of the sign. I watched a coworker slide across the parking lot like a curling stone on one knee as the sign sailed gracefully into a parked and very much still-occupied car. Mercifully, the damages to the customer’s car were negligible.

Just to add some gravy to this insult entree, we also had to endure complaints about the sign. Sometimes the wind would blow it into the road, so we’d have to dodge heavy traffic to retrieve it. We also had city representatives come in frequently to tell us that signs like that were against city code. We’d keep it inside for a few days, and then the order would come down that we needed to drag it back out again.

Every other week, we had a team meeting, and at every meeting, the entire staff lobbied against the clinic owner and his wife to have the sign removed. They refused because it was “important to bring in new business.”

The twist, you see, is that we were already overbooked two months out, and aside from three blocks of time set aside for emergencies, we couldn’t accommodate new business. Two local practices had just closed and we had absorbed their clients, and one of our three doctors had left the practice. The remaining doctors were incredibly overwhelmed, working open to close seven days a week. They were very much proponents of removing the sign, but even they got shut down. The owners insisted that we needed more business, and they even threatened to get divorced if we didn’t increase profit margins.

None of us actually cared if they got divorced, so the sign would go out during daylight hours only if we felt like it. The owner was too busy to notice, and his wife was busy watching the contractors work on their home renovation.

But, they did occasionally notice. Eventually, it got to the point where they threatened to short the entire staff’s pay for each day the sign was not out or for each day the sign was left out overnight.

I quit for other reasons before this policy went into effect, but thanks to social media, I saw that the entire reception staff and tech team (both teams in charge of the stupid sign) quit within two months of my departure.

Was it all due to the sign? No, of course not. But if you work in a place that is that indifferent to the wellness of their human staff because the owner’s wife wants more money… perhaps moving along is in your best interests.

CONTENT WARNING: Dead Animal

A woman comes into the vet with a cat carrier.

Woman: “My cat is very lethargic.”

She then pulls forth from the carrier a deceased cat and stares expectantly at me.

Um… yep, that’s pretty lethargic, all right!

I was just kind of flabbergasted that at no point while shoving the poor animal into the carrier, driving it over, pulling it out, etc., did it ever occur to her that maybe this was no longer a living creature. While she was sad upon learning the truth, she wasn’t distraught to the extent that I could chalk it up to severe denial.

She just didn’t… notice.

As a child, I kept hamsters for some years, but eventually, I decided I didn’t want any more pets for a little while, so my mum and I put our hamster paraphernalia away for a year or two.

Then, a family friend phoned: her neighbour had found a hamster in the garden, and if we still had the equipment, could we look after it? My mum eventually agreed, and we were brought a sweet little white dwarf hamster. We brought her to the vet the next day, and she was pronounced fine and probably an escapee. We put up some “found” posters and named her Mowgli, for an adoptee found in the wilderness.

Later that day, my mum’s friend visited and commented that she didn’t know my mum kept rats. My mum had a serious phobia of rats and completely panicked, despite my protests that the animal was obviously a hamster. I persuaded her to call the vet before she put Mowgli out again. So, in tears, she phoned the vet to ask if Mowgli was a rat.

The vet paused, and, clearly trying to be minimally sarcastic, asked:

Vet: “Has Mowgli doubled in size? Has she grown a long scaly tail? Has her face changed shape?”

My mum admitted none of these things had happened, and the vet assured her that she would have pointed it out to us if our hamster wasn’t a hamster. 

It still took a few weeks for my mum to feel comfortable around Mowgli, but eventually, they made friends. No one ever claimed Mowgli, so she spent a little over two happy years with us.

I still wonder sometimes how hard the vet laughed after my poor mum’s phone call.

I have a medical condition that sometimes causes sudden episodes of hoarseness. It does not respond to water, but sometimes it responds to extreme throat-clearing. I work in a vet’s office and I am calling customers to confirm tomorrow’s appointments. This client’s answering machine picks up.

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] with—”

Cue the most severe episode of hoarseness I’ve had in years. After using up a lot of voicemail time trying to clear my throat, I manage to force out the rest of my message in a voice that sounds like a bad case of laryngitis.

Me: “I’m so sorry, this is an awful message, but I have [Condition] and it hit really suddenly. I’m just calling to confirm [Pet] for 8:00 tomorrow.”

The next morning, the client came in laughing and told me they were glad my voice had recovered.

My husband and I are taking our dog to the vet. We can see by the number of people in the waiting room that it is going to be quite a wait, but we aren’t sure how severe our dog’s issue is, so we decide to wait anyway. 

I go to the counter to check in and see that one nicely-dressed old woman isn’t wearing a mask. Everyone still masks up indoors here, so I’m sure my displeasure shows on my face when we make eye contact. My husband and I decide to wait outside. 

Eventually, the waiting room is starting to clear out, and the old lady puts a mask on, so we move inside to wait. The old lady is talking exasperatedly to her dog.

Old Lady: “Do you want to sit on my lap or on the floor? Make up your mind! Okay, you want to go here?” *sigh* “Fine, then sit still!”

Some time passes and someone else is called up to see the vet. The old lady goes to the counter to complain about the wait, and the young staff apologizes earnestly and disappears.

A woman in scrubs comes out and approaches the old woman. 

Vet: “I’m really sorry about the wait, but you see, that person was before you. They came in and left their name and then went back to get their pet, so that’s why you didn’t see them. Also, the reason that there is a long wait today is that their pet died, so it’s taking some time. Thank you for your understanding.”

Old Lady: *Embarrassed* “Oh, it’s no problem… I understand…”

A woman in regular clothes came out then, her eyes red from crying and visibly distressed. The vet talked to her quietly for a bit and then the woman left.

I couldn’t help but glare at the old lady again. There’s never a good reason for a long wait at the vet’s office, and she could only think of the inconvenience to herself!