(I was quietly working down my aisle when a disgruntled man stops at the end and looks at me.)
Me: *resumes working as he is making no advances*
Man: “Awwharhaghhsss!”
Me: *looks up*
Man: “TOMATO SAUCE!” *angry look*
Me: “Uhhhh…”
Man: *furious look*
Me: “…aisle 10!”
(It is 5:45 pm on Christmas Eve, and the grocery store I work at closes at 6:00 pm.)
Customer: “Why don’t you have any big frozen turkeys? I need a 20-pound frozen turkey!”
Me: “Sir, we only have what’s left in the counter.”
Customer: “Go look in the back! I know you have some hiding back there.”
Me: “Um, sir, I put all the turkeys out already. What’s out is all we have.”
Customer: “LISTEN! I NEED A G**D*** 20-POUND TURKEY! GET IN THE BACK AND FIND ME ONE!”
Me: “There are no more turkeys in the back.”
Customer: “I’ll just go look myself!”
(The customer proceeds to march through the “Staff Only” doors and is met by one of the butchers who stands 6′ 5″.)
Customer: “GET ME A G**D*** TURKEY!”
Big Butcher: “GET THE H*** OUT OF MY STORE!”
This story is part of the Christmas Eve roundup!
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Hotel Guest: *glances at front desk* “Do you have any newspapers?”
Me: “If there aren’t any out on the counter, we’re all out.”
Hotel Guest: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Yes sir, I’m sure. If I had any more, I assure you they’d be sitting there on the counter.”
Hotel Guest: “Okay, is there one in there?” *points to trashcan behind the front desk*
Me: “Um, sir… are you asking if there are any newspapers… in the trash?”
Hotel Guest: “Yes.”
Me: “Um… well… sir… I don’t think you want to look through here, there’s food and all sorts of gross–”
Hotel Guest: “I want to look through there for a newspaper.”
Me: “Um, okay…”
(He brings the trash to the front and starts digging through it.)
Hotel Guest: “UGH! This trash is DISGUSTING!” *storms off*
(There was a gas station literally 100 feet away from the hotel. This guy would rather dig through the trash for a newspaper than walk up the street and buy one.)
This story is part of our Weird Hotel Guests roundup!
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(I am in high school working at a dollar store. It’s a small town so Sundays are usually busy after church services. This man, his wife, and his young son are in line.)
Me: “That will be $25.30.”
Customer: “I’ve only got $15… We gave $20 at the offering today. You think you could give me a break?”
Customer’s Young Son: *innocently* “We didn’t give any money at church today.”
This story is part of our Customers Caught Lying roundup!
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(An older woman in her 50s needs some help picking out a new MP3 player.)
Me: “Okay, so do you have any preferences?”
Woman: “Well, do you have any that are waterproof?”
Me: “Not really…”
Woman: “I had one before, but it’s broken.”
Me: “Oh, okay.”
Woman: “Yeah, it was my own fault though, I think.”
Me: “How come?”
Woman: “Well, I put it in here–” *points and looks at her breasts* “–while I was at the gym. I guess I was sweating a bit too much!”
Me: “…”
This story is part of the Customers-Sharing-TMI roundup!
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